JOKE POEMS
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Address To The Devil
O Prince, O chief of many throned pow'rs!
That led th' embattled seraphim to war!
(Milton, Paradise Lost)
.....
Robert Burns
O Prince, O chief of many throned pow'rs!
That led th' embattled seraphim to war!
(Milton, Paradise Lost)
.....
Robert Burns
The Bitter Side
Life is a coin
With two sharp side
One side like a moon
One side like a blade
.....
Ola Olawale
Life is a coin
With two sharp side
One side like a moon
One side like a blade
.....
Ola Olawale
When I Think About Myself
When I think about myself,
I almost laugh myself to death,
My life has been one great big joke,
A dance that's walked
.....
Maya Angelou
When I think about myself,
I almost laugh myself to death,
My life has been one great big joke,
A dance that's walked
.....
Maya Angelou
The Ballad Of Blasphemous Bill
I took a contract to bury the body of blasphemous Bill MacKie,
Whenever, wherever or whatsoever the manner of death he die-
Whether he die in the light o' day or under the peak-faced moon;
In cabin or dance-hall, camp or dive, mucklucks or patent shoon;
.....
Robert Service
I took a contract to bury the body of blasphemous Bill MacKie,
Whenever, wherever or whatsoever the manner of death he die-
Whether he die in the light o' day or under the peak-faced moon;
In cabin or dance-hall, camp or dive, mucklucks or patent shoon;
.....
Robert Service
The Pied Piper Of Hamelin
A Child's Story
Hamelin Town's in Brunswick,
By famous Hanover city;
.....
Robert Browning
A Child's Story
Hamelin Town's in Brunswick,
By famous Hanover city;
.....
Robert Browning
The Hunting Of The Snark
Dedication
Inscribed to a dear Child:
in memory of golden summer hours
.....
Lewis Carroll
Dedication
Inscribed to a dear Child:
in memory of golden summer hours
.....
Lewis Carroll
A Song Of Sixty-five
Brave Thackeray has trolled of days when he was twenty-one,
And bounded up five flights of stairs, a gallant garreteer;
And yet again in mellow vein when youth was gaily run,
Has dipped his nose in Gascon wine, and told of Forty Year.
.....
Robert Service
Brave Thackeray has trolled of days when he was twenty-one,
And bounded up five flights of stairs, a gallant garreteer;
And yet again in mellow vein when youth was gaily run,
Has dipped his nose in Gascon wine, and told of Forty Year.
.....
Robert Service
Gone With A Handsomer Man.
JOHN:
I've worked in the field all day, a-plowin' the "stony streak;"
I've scolded my team till I'm hoarse; I've tramped till my legs are weak;
.....
Will Carleton
JOHN:
I've worked in the field all day, a-plowin' the "stony streak;"
I've scolded my team till I'm hoarse; I've tramped till my legs are weak;
.....
Will Carleton
The Wind In A Frolic
The wind one morning sprang up from sleep,
Saying, “Now for a frolic! now for a leap!
Now for a madcap, galloping chase!
I'll make a commotion in every place!”
.....
William Howitt
The wind one morning sprang up from sleep,
Saying, “Now for a frolic! now for a leap!
Now for a madcap, galloping chase!
I'll make a commotion in every place!”
.....
William Howitt
Quantum Sufficit
'I only said this German plan
Had points,' remarked the small, meek man.
'I merely said an extra wife
Might add variety to life.
.....
Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
'I only said this German plan
Had points,' remarked the small, meek man.
'I merely said an extra wife
Might add variety to life.
.....
Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
Identification In Belfast
(I.R.A. Bombing)
The British Army now carries two rifles,
one with rubber rabbit-pellets for children,
.....
Robert Lowell
(I.R.A. Bombing)
The British Army now carries two rifles,
one with rubber rabbit-pellets for children,
.....
Robert Lowell
The Deserted Village
Sweet Auburn! loveliest village of the plain,
Where health and plenty cheered the labouring swain,
Where smiling spring its earliest visits paid,
And parting summer's lingering blooms delayed:
.....
Oliver Goldsmith
Sweet Auburn! loveliest village of the plain,
Where health and plenty cheered the labouring swain,
Where smiling spring its earliest visits paid,
And parting summer's lingering blooms delayed:
.....
Oliver Goldsmith
The Night Before
Look you, Dominie; look you, and listen!
Look in my face, first; search every line there;
Mark every feature,-chin, lip, and forehead!
Look in my eyes, and tell me the lesson
.....
Edwin Arlington Robinson
Look you, Dominie; look you, and listen!
Look in my face, first; search every line there;
Mark every feature,-chin, lip, and forehead!
Look in my eyes, and tell me the lesson
.....
Edwin Arlington Robinson
Butterfly Laughter
In the middle of our porridge plates
There was a blue butterfly painted
And each morning we tried who should reach the
butterfly first.
.....
Katherine Mansfield
In the middle of our porridge plates
There was a blue butterfly painted
And each morning we tried who should reach the
butterfly first.
.....
Katherine Mansfield
The Shield Of Achilles
She looked over his shoulder
For vines and olive trees,
Marble well-governed cities
And ships upon untamed seas,
.....
W. H. Auden
She looked over his shoulder
For vines and olive trees,
Marble well-governed cities
And ships upon untamed seas,
.....
W. H. Auden
That Nature Is A Heraclitean Fire And Of The Comfort Of The Resurrection
Cloud-puffball, torn tufts, tossed pillows ‘flaunt forth, then chevy on an air-
built thoroughfare: heaven-roysterers, in gay-gangs' they throng; they glitter in marches.
Down roughcast, down dazzling whitewash, ‘wherever an elm arches,
Shivelights and shadowtackle in long' lashes lace, lance, and pair.
.....
Gerard Manley Hopkins
Cloud-puffball, torn tufts, tossed pillows ‘flaunt forth, then chevy on an air-
built thoroughfare: heaven-roysterers, in gay-gangs' they throng; they glitter in marches.
Down roughcast, down dazzling whitewash, ‘wherever an elm arches,
Shivelights and shadowtackle in long' lashes lace, lance, and pair.
.....
Gerard Manley Hopkins
A Song For Kilts
How grand the human race would be
If every man would wear a kilt,
A flirt of Tartan finery,
Instead of trousers, custom built!
.....
Robert Service
How grand the human race would be
If every man would wear a kilt,
A flirt of Tartan finery,
Instead of trousers, custom built!
.....
Robert Service
The Elder Brother.
Centrick, in London noise, and London follies,
Proud Covent Garden blooms, in smoky glory;
For chairmen, coffee-rooms, piazzas, dollies,
Cabbages, and comedians, fame'd in story!
.....
George Colman
Centrick, in London noise, and London follies,
Proud Covent Garden blooms, in smoky glory;
For chairmen, coffee-rooms, piazzas, dollies,
Cabbages, and comedians, fame'd in story!
.....
George Colman
Old Tom
The harridan who holds the inn
At which I toss a pot,
Is old and uglier than sin,-
I'm glad she knows me not.
.....
Robert Service
The harridan who holds the inn
At which I toss a pot,
Is old and uglier than sin,-
I'm glad she knows me not.
.....
Robert Service
The Pig
In ev'ry age, and each profession,
Men err the most by prepossession;
But when the thing is clearly shown,
And fairly stated, fully known,
.....
Christopher Smart
In ev'ry age, and each profession,
Men err the most by prepossession;
But when the thing is clearly shown,
And fairly stated, fully known,
.....
Christopher Smart
Telegram
I SAW a telegram handed a two hundred pound man at a desk. And the little scrap of paper charged the air like a set of crystals in a chemist's tube to a whispering pinch of salt.
Cross my heart, the two hundred pound man had just cracked a joke about a new hat he got his wife, when the messenger boy slipped in and asked him to sign. He gave the boy a nickel, tore the envelope and read.
Then he yelled 'Good God,' jumped for his hat and raincoat, ran for the elevator and took a taxi to a railroad depot.
.....
Carl Sandburg
I SAW a telegram handed a two hundred pound man at a desk. And the little scrap of paper charged the air like a set of crystals in a chemist's tube to a whispering pinch of salt.
Cross my heart, the two hundred pound man had just cracked a joke about a new hat he got his wife, when the messenger boy slipped in and asked him to sign. He gave the boy a nickel, tore the envelope and read.
Then he yelled 'Good God,' jumped for his hat and raincoat, ran for the elevator and took a taxi to a railroad depot.
.....
Carl Sandburg
Right Here At Home
Right here at home, boys, in old Hoosierdom,
Where strangers allus joke us when they come,
And brag o' _their_ old States and interprize--
Yit _settle_ here; and 'fore they realize,
.....
James Whitcomb Riley
Right here at home, boys, in old Hoosierdom,
Where strangers allus joke us when they come,
And brag o' _their_ old States and interprize--
Yit _settle_ here; and 'fore they realize,
.....
James Whitcomb Riley
Avon's Harvest
Fear, like a living fire that only death
Might one day cool, had now in Avonâ??s eyes
Been witness for so long of an invasion
That made of a gay friend whom we had known
.....
Edwin Arlington Robinson
Fear, like a living fire that only death
Might one day cool, had now in Avonâ??s eyes
Been witness for so long of an invasion
That made of a gay friend whom we had known
.....
Edwin Arlington Robinson
An After-dinner Poem
(TERPSICHORE)
Read at the Annual Dinner of the Phi Beta Kappa Society, at
Cambridge, August 24, 1843.
.....
Oliver Wendell Holmes
(TERPSICHORE)
Read at the Annual Dinner of the Phi Beta Kappa Society, at
Cambridge, August 24, 1843.
.....
Oliver Wendell Holmes
Poems That Do Not Rhyme
I love poems that do not rhyme
But find another way to a good link Somewhere around the middle
Thus its writer can be certain
Of the message through spontaneity
.....
Fatimah Bint Abdil Alim
I love poems that do not rhyme
But find another way to a good link Somewhere around the middle
Thus its writer can be certain
Of the message through spontaneity
.....
Fatimah Bint Abdil Alim
Captain Craig Ii
Yet that ride had an end, as all rides have;
And the days coming after took the road
That all days take,-though never one of them
Went by but I got some good thought of it
.....
Edwin Arlington Robinson
Yet that ride had an end, as all rides have;
And the days coming after took the road
That all days take,-though never one of them
Went by but I got some good thought of it
.....
Edwin Arlington Robinson
The Family Fool
Oh! a private buffoon is a light-hearted loon,
If you listen to popular rumour;
From morning to night he's so joyous and bright,
And he bubbles with wit and good humour!
.....
William Schwenck Gilbert
Oh! a private buffoon is a light-hearted loon,
If you listen to popular rumour;
From morning to night he's so joyous and bright,
And he bubbles with wit and good humour!
.....
William Schwenck Gilbert
Coomera
THEREâ??S a pretty little story with a touch of moonlit glory
Comes from Beenleigh on the Logan, but we donâ??t know if itâ??s true;
For we scarcely dare to credit evâ??rything they say who edit
Those unhappy country papers â??twixt the ocean and Barcoo.
.....
Henry Lawson
THEREâ??S a pretty little story with a touch of moonlit glory
Comes from Beenleigh on the Logan, but we donâ??t know if itâ??s true;
For we scarcely dare to credit evâ??rything they say who edit
Those unhappy country papers â??twixt the ocean and Barcoo.
.....
Henry Lawson
Vanitas Vanitatum
How spake of old the Royal Seer?
(His text is one I love to treat on.)
This life of ours he said is sheer
Mataiotes Mataioteton.
.....
William Makepeace Thackeray
How spake of old the Royal Seer?
(His text is one I love to treat on.)
This life of ours he said is sheer
Mataiotes Mataioteton.
.....
William Makepeace Thackeray
The Junk Man
I am glad God saw Death
And gave Death a job taking care of all who are tired
of living:
.....
Carl Sandburg
I am glad God saw Death
And gave Death a job taking care of all who are tired
of living:
.....
Carl Sandburg
Bric-a-brac
Little things that no one needs-
Little things to joke about-
Little landscapes, done in beads.
Little morals, woven out,
.....
Dorothy Parker
Little things that no one needs-
Little things to joke about-
Little landscapes, done in beads.
Little morals, woven out,
.....
Dorothy Parker
Captain Craig Iii
I found the old man sitting in his bed,
Propped up and uncomplaining. On a chair
Beside him was a dreary bowl of broth,
A magazine, some glasses, and a pipe.
.....
Edwin Arlington Robinson
I found the old man sitting in his bed,
Propped up and uncomplaining. On a chair
Beside him was a dreary bowl of broth,
A magazine, some glasses, and a pipe.
.....
Edwin Arlington Robinson
Isaac And Archibald
(To Mrs. Henry Richards)
Isaac and Archibald were two old men.
I knew them, and I may have laughed at them
.....
Edwin Arlington Robinson
(To Mrs. Henry Richards)
Isaac and Archibald were two old men.
I knew them, and I may have laughed at them
.....
Edwin Arlington Robinson
March
Over the dripping roofs and sunk snow-barrows,
The bells are ringing loud and strangely near,
The shout of children dins upon mine ear
Shrilly, and like a flight of silvery arrows
.....
Archibald Lampman
Over the dripping roofs and sunk snow-barrows,
The bells are ringing loud and strangely near,
The shout of children dins upon mine ear
Shrilly, and like a flight of silvery arrows
.....
Archibald Lampman
Braggart
With careful step to keep his balance up
He reels on warily along the street,
Slabbering at mouth and with a staggering stoop
Mutters an angry look at all he meets.
.....
John Clare
With careful step to keep his balance up
He reels on warily along the street,
Slabbering at mouth and with a staggering stoop
Mutters an angry look at all he meets.
.....
John Clare
Hitched
An'â??wiltâ??yehâ??takeâ??thisâ??womanâ??ferâ??toâ??be
Yerâ??weddedâ??wife?â?? . . . O, strike me! Will I wot?
Take 'er? Doreen? 'E stan's there arstin' me!
As if 'e thort per'aps I'd rather not!
.....
Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
An'â??wiltâ??yehâ??takeâ??thisâ??womanâ??ferâ??toâ??be
Yerâ??weddedâ??wife?â?? . . . O, strike me! Will I wot?
Take 'er? Doreen? 'E stan's there arstin' me!
As if 'e thort per'aps I'd rather not!
.....
Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
Dirge For A Joker
Always in the middle of a kiss
Came the profane stimulus to cough;
Always from teh pulpit during service
Leaned the devil prompting you to laugh.
.....
Sylvia Plath
Always in the middle of a kiss
Came the profane stimulus to cough;
Always from teh pulpit during service
Leaned the devil prompting you to laugh.
.....
Sylvia Plath
The Joker And The Fishes.
[1]
Some seek for jokers; I avoid.
A joke must be, to be enjoy'd,
.....
Jean De La Fontaine
[1]
Some seek for jokers; I avoid.
A joke must be, to be enjoy'd,
.....
Jean De La Fontaine
Poetics
You know the old story Ann Landers tells
About the houseife in her basement doing the wash?
She's wearing her nightie, and she thinks, "Well, hell,
I might's well put this in as well," and then
.....
Howard Nemerov
You know the old story Ann Landers tells
About the houseife in her basement doing the wash?
She's wearing her nightie, and she thinks, "Well, hell,
I might's well put this in as well," and then
.....
Howard Nemerov
The Fisherman
Although I can see him still.
The freckled man who goes
To a grey place on a hill
In grey Connemara clothes
.....
William Butler Yeats
Although I can see him still.
The freckled man who goes
To a grey place on a hill
In grey Connemara clothes
.....
William Butler Yeats
Laughter
I Laugh at Life: its antics make for me a giddy games,
Where only foolish fellows take themselves with solemn aim.
I laugh at pomp and vanity, at riches, rank and pride;
At social inanity, at swager, swank and side.
.....
Robert Service
I Laugh at Life: its antics make for me a giddy games,
Where only foolish fellows take themselves with solemn aim.
I laugh at pomp and vanity, at riches, rank and pride;
At social inanity, at swager, swank and side.
.....
Robert Service
The Brigs Of Ayr, A Poem, Inscribed To J. Ballantyne, Esq., Ayr.
The simple Bard, rough at the rustic plough,
Learning his tuneful trade from ev'ry bough;
The chanting linnet, or the mellow thrush,
Hailing the setting sun, sweet, in the green thorn bush:
.....
Robert Burns
The simple Bard, rough at the rustic plough,
Learning his tuneful trade from ev'ry bough;
The chanting linnet, or the mellow thrush,
Hailing the setting sun, sweet, in the green thorn bush:
.....
Robert Burns
The Ass In The Lion's Skin.
An Ass in The Lion's skin arrayed
Made everybody fear.
And this was queer,
Because he was himself afraid.
.....
Jean De La Fontaine
An Ass in The Lion's skin arrayed
Made everybody fear.
And this was queer,
Because he was himself afraid.
.....
Jean De La Fontaine
The Baldness Of Chewed-ear
When Chewed-ear Jenkins got hitched up to Guinneyveer McGee,
His flowin' locks, ye recollect, wuz frivolous an' free;
But in old Hymen's jack-pot, it's a most amazin' thing,
Them flowin' locks jest disappeared like snow-balls in the Spring;
.....
Robert Service
When Chewed-ear Jenkins got hitched up to Guinneyveer McGee,
His flowin' locks, ye recollect, wuz frivolous an' free;
But in old Hymen's jack-pot, it's a most amazin' thing,
Them flowin' locks jest disappeared like snow-balls in the Spring;
.....
Robert Service
Window Shopper
I stood before a candy shop
Which with a Christmas radiance shone;
I saw my parents pass and stop
To grin at me and then go on.
.....
Robert Service
I stood before a candy shop
Which with a Christmas radiance shone;
I saw my parents pass and stop
To grin at me and then go on.
.....
Robert Service
Slough
Come friendly bombs and fall on Slough!
It isn't fit for humans now,
There isn't grass to graze a cow.
Swarm over, Death!
.....
John Betjeman
Come friendly bombs and fall on Slough!
It isn't fit for humans now,
There isn't grass to graze a cow.
Swarm over, Death!
.....
John Betjeman
While The Bannock Bakes
Light up your pipe again, old chum, and sit awhile with me;
I've got to watch the bannock bake-how restful is the air!
You'd little think that we were somewhere north of Sixty-three,
Though where I don't exactly know, and don't precisely care.
.....
Robert Service
Light up your pipe again, old chum, and sit awhile with me;
I've got to watch the bannock bake-how restful is the air!
You'd little think that we were somewhere north of Sixty-three,
Though where I don't exactly know, and don't precisely care.
.....
Robert Service