I lay in bed, not having the energy to get up or speak
I can feel my eyes start to water, and my cheeks get red
I hear footsteps outside my door, but I don’t call out. I just turned over
Just wanting to be alone so I don’t hear that “get up, you're fine” lecture again
They don’t understand what happens in my head
They wouldn’t last a minute with my thoughts
I can feel my chest get heavy, my stomach start to hurt
Gradually, you close your eyes and breathe, hoping this isn't a curse
I tend to compare myself to others, but why, so I can feel unhappy
I don’t want this pain anymore as I rehearse in the mirror
I'm lost in all the emotions and thoughts that make me feel like I'm about to drown
Most people don’t know the feelings you hold onto or the guilt you have
Always being on edge because you don’t know who’s watching
I can’t help but say I wish I were different
I look up at the stars, asking God, why can’t I be normal and be happy
I try to take a walk, but I can’t seem to enjoy it
It’s like someone took every inch of happiness out of my body
I just feel numb
Most people my age would go drink to stop the thoughts, but I just wanna run
I try to take meds, but who wants to do that their whole life? I'm just done
Why can’t I get a break? My head is pounding, and I can’t go on
The walls feel like they're closing in, ready just to squish me
I'm not sure how to tell my parents their daughter isn't happy anymore
I'm not sure how to tell my friends I don’t know how to deal with this
The smile on my face is always fake, so you don’t have to worry
The laughs are fake, so you think there is nothing wrong
But the world can’t see how bad I'm hurting, or too many people will start worrying
I try to hide behind a fake smile, a fake laugh, so nobody can see the battles I carry
I look at myself and ask am I ok
My parents ask why im never home and always busy, because then I don’t have time to think
If you don’t have to think then thoughts don’t build up or even come to mind
But I think the days of me running from my problems are over, you can only ever run so far
But me personally I think im just done.