JUNIOR POEMS

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A Bank Fraud

He drank strong waters and his speech was coarse;
He purchased raiment and forbore to pay';
He stuck a trusting junior with a horse,
And won gymkhanas in a doubtful way.
.....
Rudyard Kipling

Rudyard Kipling
The Shattered Dream

I WAS somewhere off in Europe spending money like a king,
Owned a yacht like J. P. Morgan's, when the 'phone began to ring;
I was entertaining princes, dukes and earls, when wifie said:
'It's the telephone that's ringing, you must hustle out of bed.'
.....
Edgar Albert Guest

Edgar Albert Guest
Unofficial

ONE morning, my heart can remember,
I sat dreaming there,
In the 'governor's' chair
In the office. The month was November,
.....
Edith Nesbit

Edith Nesbit
Not All Die Early, Dying Young

990

Not all die early, dying young-
Maturity of Fate
.....
Emily Dickinson

Emily Dickinson
Study Of An Elevation, In Indian Ink

This ditty is a string of lies.
But-how the deuce did Gubbins rise?

Potiphar Gubbins, C.E.
.....
Rudyard Kipling

Rudyard Kipling
The Hypnotist

A man once read with mind surprised
Of the way that people were "hypnotised";
By waving hands you produced, forsooth,
A kind of trance where men told the truth!
.....

Banjo Paterson (andrew Barton)
Gilhooley's Estate

Oh, Mr Gilhooley he turned up his toes,
As most of you know, soon or late;
And Jones was a lawyer, as everyone knows,
So they took him to Gilhooley's Estate.
.....

Banjo Paterson (andrew Barton)
Chapter Headings

Plain Tales From the Hills

Look, you have cast out Love! What Gods are these
You bid me please?
.....
Rudyard Kipling

Rudyard Kipling
The Junior God

The Junior God looked from his place
In the conning towers of heaven,
And he saw the world through the span of space
Like a giant golf-ball driven.
.....

Robert William Service
The Hypnotist

A man once read with mind surprised
Of the way that people were "hypnotised";
By waving hands you produced, forsooth,
A kind of trance where men told the truth!
.....

Banjo Paterson
An Incantation

Come with me, and we will blow
Lots of bubbles, as we go;
Bubbles bright as ever Hope
Drew from fancy -- or from soap;
.....
Thomas Moore

Thomas Moore
Aspirants Three

DRAMATIS PERSONAE.

_QUICK_:
DE YOUNG _a Brother to Mushrooms_
.....

Ambrose Bierce
The Lawyer's Second Tale

Christian.


A highland inn among the western hills,
.....
Arthur Hugh Clough

Arthur Hugh Clough
Gilhooley's Estate

Oh, Mr Gilhooley he turned up his toes,
As most of you know, soon or late;
And Jones was a lawyer, as everyone knows,
So they took him to Gilhooley's Estate.
.....

Banjo Paterson
The Candidate.

Enough of Actors--let them play the player,
And, free from censure, fret, sweat, strut, and stare;
Garrick[1] abroad, what motives can engage
To waste one couplet on a barren stage?
.....

Charles Churchill
To F.w.f.

Farrar, when oâ??er Goodwinâ??s page
Late I found thee poring,
From the hydrostatic Sage
Leaky Memory storing,
.....

James Clerk Maxwell
Ode To Joseph Grimaldi, Senior.

"This fellow's wise enough to play the fool,
And to do that well craves a kind of wit."
Twelfth Night.

.....
Thomas Hood

Thomas Hood
The Shut-eye Sentry

Sez the Junior Orderly Sergeant
To the Senior Orderly Man:
"Our Orderly Orf'cer's ~hokee-mut~,
You 'elp 'im all you can.
.....
Rudyard Kipling

Rudyard Kipling
The Junior God

The Junior God looked from his place
In the conning towers of heaven,
And he saw the world through the span of space
Like a giant golf-ball driven.
.....
Robert Service

Robert Service
Damon Vs. Pythias

Two better friends you wouldn't pass
Throughout a summer's day,
Than DAMON and his PYTHIAS, -
Two merchant princes they.
.....

William Schwenck Gilbert
Damon V. Pythias

Two better friends you wouldn't pass
Throughout a summer's day,
Than DAMON and his PYTHIAS,
Two merchant princes they.
.....

William Schwenck Gilbert
The Griefs Of Ancient Gosh

I happened in Gosh on an ancient day,
In the land of Glugs far, far away
Where the skies are green and the grass is pink
And the citizens rarely troubl'd to think.
.....

Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
The Mother-lodge

There was Rundle, Station Master,
An' Beazeley of the Rail,
An' 'Ackman, Commissariat,
An' Donkin' o' the Jail;
.....
Rudyard Kipling

Rudyard Kipling
The First Lord's Song

When I was a lad I served a term
As office boy to an Attorney's firm;
I cleaned the windows and I swept the floor,
And I polished up the handle of the big front door.
.....

William Schwenck Gilbert
The First Lord's Song.

When I was a lad I served a term
As office boy to an Attorney's firm.
I cleaned the windows and I swept the floor,
And I polished up the handle of the big front door.
.....

William Schwenck Gilbert
Orange Peel

& Cuthbert Clarke


The colonel stopped, and glared around,
.....

John Milton Hayes
Empire Builders

Captain Temple, D.S.O.,
With his banjo and retriever.
"Rough, I know, on poor old Flo,
But, by Jove! I couldn't leave her."
.....

Arthur Conan Doyle
An Antiquated Tree

1514

An Antiquated Tree
Is cherished of the Crow
.....
Emily Dickinson

Emily Dickinson
Pain Has But One Acquaintance

1049

Pain has but one Acquaintance
And that is Death-
.....
Emily Dickinson

Emily Dickinson
Song

At her Junior High School graduation,
she sings alone
in front of the lot of us--

.....

Eamon Grennan
Hold My Hand

I don't know much
But I'm pretty sure you aren't supposed to hate
Kick me to the curb so much it hurts
I look to you for guidance
.....
Thandiswa Matsebula

Thandiswa Matsebula
Classmates

He looked on as Carina jogged along the track
No matter how many times she passed him in the park,
She pretended not to notice him gazing at her
His thoughts went wild as she treaded the final lap
.....
Marlon Pitter

Marlon Pitter
Ma Afriq Weeps

Look at my daughters; mistaken for wayward fugitives;
My sons; living like warlords at each other’s neck;
Their children are in so much hate and lust after their cousins
Behaving like offspring from separate wombs.
.....
Omokpariola Elshalom

Omokpariola Elshalom
An Incantation. Sung By The Bubble Spirit

Air.--Come with me, and we will go
Where the rocks of coral grow.


.....
Thomas Moore

Thomas Moore
A Sad Case

"If it be the undergraduate season at which this rabies religiosa is to be so fearful, what security has Mr. Goulburn against it at this moment, when his son is actually exposed to the full venom of an association with Dissenters?"
--The Times, March 25.


.....
Thomas Moore

Thomas Moore
Dorothy Q. - A Family Portrait

I cannot tell the story of Dorothy Q. more simply in prose than I have told it in verse, but I can add something to it. Dorothy was the daughter of Judge Edmund Quincy, and the niece of Josiah Quincy, junior, the young patriot and orator who died just before the American Revolution, of which he was one of the most eloquent and effective promoters. The son of the latter, Josiah Quincy, the first mayor of Boston bearing that name, lived to a great age, one of the most useful and honored citizens of his time. The canvas of the painting was so much decayed that it had to be replaced by a new one, in doing which the rapier thrust was of course filled up.

Grandmother's mother: her age, I guess,
Thirteen summers, or something less;
.....

Oliver Wendell Holmes
A Dirge For Mcpherson,[13] Killed In Front Of Atlanta

(July, 1864.)


Arms reversed and banners craped -
.....
Herman Melville

Herman Melville
Mrs. Miller

John B. McKinney, Attorney and Counselor at Law, as his sign read, was, for many reasons, a fortunate man. For many other reasons he was not. He was chiefly fortunate in being, as certain opponents often strove to witheringly designate him, "the son of his father," since that sound old gentleman was the wealthiest farmer in that section, with but one son and heir to, in time, supplant him in the role of "county god," and haply perpetuate the prouder title of "the biggest tax-payer on the assessment list." And this fact, too, fortunate as it would seem, was doubtless the indirect occasion of a liberal percentage of all John's misfortunes. From his earliest school-days in the little town, up to his tardy graduation from a distant college, the influence of his father's wealth invited his procrastination, humored its results, encouraged the laxity of his ambition, "and even now," as John used, in bitter irony, to put it, "it is aiding and abetting me in the ostensible practice of my chosen profession, a listless, aimless undetermined man of forty, and a confirmed bachelor at that!" At the utterance of this self-depreciating statement, John generally jerked his legs down from the top of his desk; and, rising and kicking his chair back to the wall, he would stump around his littered office till the manilla carpet steamed with dust. Then he would wildly break away, seeking refuge either in the open street, or in his room at the old-time tavern, The Eagle House, "where," he would say, "I have lodged and boarded, I do solemnly asseverate, for a long, unbroken, middle-aged eternity of ten years, and can yet assert, in the words of the more fortunately-dying Webster, that 'I still live!'"

Extravagantly satirical as he was at times, John had always an indefinable drollery about him that made him agreeable company to his friends, at least; and such an admiring friend he had constantly at hand in the person of Bert Haines. Both were Bohemians in natural tendency, and, though John was far in Bert's advance in point of age, he found the young man "just the kind of a fellow to have around;" while Bert, in turn, held his senior in profound esteem - looked up to him, in fact, and in even his eccentricities strove to pattern after him. And so it was, when summer days were dull and tedious, these two could muse and doze the hours away together; and when the nights were long, and dark, and deep, and beautiful, they could drift out in the noon-light of the stars, and with "the soft complaining flute" and "warbling lute," "lay the pipes," as John would say, for their enduring popularity with the girls! And it was immediately subsequent to one of these romantic excursions, when the belated pair, at two o'clock in the morning, had skulked up a side stairway of the old hotel, and gained John's room, with nothing more serious happening than Bert falling over a trunk and smashing his guitar, - just after such a night of romance and adventure it was that, in the seclusion of John's room, Bert had something of especial import to communicate.

.....

James Whitcomb Riley
To My Dear Brother Eldridge Stanton (junior)

WHO DIED BRAVELY AT NIAGARA, ON THE AFTERNOON OF SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 4TH, 1912.

No tears for thee, no tears, or sighs,
Or breaking heart -
.....

Virna Sheard
Song Of Old Puck.

"And those things do best please me,
That befall preposterously."
PUCK Junior, Midsummer Night's Dream.

.....
Thomas Moore

Thomas Moore
An Attempt To Remember The "grandmother's Apology."

(WITH MANY APOLOGIES TO THE LAUREATE.)

And Willie, my eldest born, is gone, you say, little Anne,
Ruddy and white, and strong on his legs, he looks like a man;
.....

Horace Smith