GOLF POEMS

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Birthday

(16th January 1949)

I thank whatever gods may be
For all the happiness that's mine;
.....

Robert Service
Night Golf

I remember the night I discovered,
lying in bed in the dark,
that a few imagined holes of golf
worked much better than a thousand sheep,
.....

Billy Collins
Was It You?

“Hullo, young Jones! with your tie so gay
And your pen behind your ear;
Will you mark my cheque in the usual way?
For I'm overdrawn, I fear.”
.....

Robert Service
Birthday

(16th January 1949)

I thank whatever gods may be
For all the happiness that's mine;
.....

Robert William Service
Triumph

Why am I full of joy although
It drizzles on the links?
Why am I buying Veuve Cliquot,
And setting up the drinks?
.....

Robert Service
Ode To Golf

‘Delusive Nymph, farewell!'
How oft we've said or sung,
When balls evasive fell,
Or in the jaws of ‘Hell,'
.....

Andrew Lang
Marriage

Should I get married? Should I be Good?
Astound the girl next door with my velvet suit and faustaus hood?
Don't take her to movies but to cemeteries
tell all about werewolf bathtubs and forked clarinets
.....

Gregory Corso
Verses On Games

Here is a horse to tame
Here is a gun to handle
God knows you can enter the game
If you'll only pay for the same,
.....

Rudyard Kipling
A Thought Or Two On Reading Pomfret’s “choice”

I have been reading Pomfret's “Choice” this spring,
A pretty kind of-sort of-kind of thing,
Not much a verse, and poem none at all,
Yet, as they say, extremely natural.
.....

James Henry Leigh Hunt
My Scenario

Oh, I've got a lovely story that I've thought out all myself.
It will make a gorgeous picture, I am sure.
(Mind, it isn't for the money, for I am not keen on pelf,
nd my attitude to Art is very pure.)
.....

Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
Interior

In the cool of the night time
The clocks pick off the points
And the mainsprings loosen.
They will need winding.
.....

Carl Sandburg
Five-per-cent

Because I have ten thousand pounds I sit upon my stern,
And leave my living tranquilly for other folks to earn.
For in some procreative way that isn't very clear,
Ten thousand pounds will breed, they say, five hundred every year.
.....

Robert Service
The Last Cock-pheasant

Splendour, whom lately on your glowing flight
Athwart the chill and cheerless winter-skies
I marked and welcomed with a futile right,
And then a futile left, and strained my eyes
.....

R. C. Lehmann
The Ancient Town Of Leith

Ancient town of Leith, most wonderful to be seen,
With your many handsome buildings, and lovely links so green,
And the first buildings I may mention are the Courthouse and Town Hall,
Also Trinity House, and the Sailors' Home of Call.
.....

William Topaz Mcgonagall
Ballade Of The Royal Game Of Golf

There are laddies will drive ye a ba'
To the burn frae the farthermost tee,
But ye mauna think driving is a',
Ye may heel her, and send her ajee,
.....

Andrew Lang
Mine-sweepers

Dawn off the Foreland -- the young flood making
Jumbled and short and steep --
Black in the hollows and bright where it's breaking --
Awkward water to sweep.
.....

Rudyard Kipling
Introducing The Day Family

Sun Day is a simple child,
Face new washed and shining;
In the morning prim and mild
Church and mid-day dining.
.....

Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
Beautiful Nairn

All ye tourists who wish to be away
From the crowded city for a brief holiday;
The town of Nairn is worth a visit, I do confess,
And it's only about fifteen miles from Inverness.
.....

William Topaz Mcgonagall
A Lesson From Golf

He couldn't use his driver any better on the tee
Than the chap that he was licking, who just happened to be me;
I could hit them with a brassie just as straight and just as far,
But I piled up several sevens while he made a few in par;
.....

Edgar Albert Guest
The Junior God

The Junior God looked from his place
In the conning towers of heaven,
And he saw the world through the span of space
Like a giant golf-ball driven.
.....

Robert William Service
The Mine-sweepers

Dawn off the Foreland -- the young flood making
Jumbled and short and steep --
Black in the hollows and bright where it's breaking --
Awkward water to sweep.
.....

Rudyard Kipling
Beautiful Crief

Ye lovers of the picturesque, if ye wish to drown your grief,
Take my advice, and visit the ancient town of Crieff;
The climate is bracing, and the walks lovely to see.
Besides, ye can ramble over the district, and view the beautiful scenery.
.....

William Topaz Mcgonagall
A Lilt Of The Road

Being the doggerel Itinerary of a Holiday in September, 1908

To St. Albans' town we came;
Roman Albanus hence the name.
.....

Arthur Conan Doyle
Golf Pride

As a golfer I'm not one who cops the money,
I shall always be a member of the dubs;
There are times my style is positively funny,
I am awkward in my handling of the clubs;
.....

Edgar Albert Guest
The Junior God

The Junior God looked from his place
In the conning towers of heaven,
And he saw the world through the span of space
Like a giant golf-ball driven.
.....

Robert Service
Quaker Hill

Perspective never withers from their eyes;
They keep that docile edict of the Spring
That blends March with August Antarctic skies:
These are but cows that see no other thing
.....

Harold Hart Crane
Golf Luck

As a golfer I'm not one who cops the money;
I shall always be a member of the dubs;
There are times my style is positively funny;
I am awkward in my handling of the clubs.
.....

Edgar Albert Guest
Representation

(”My wife is against suffrage, and that settles me.”
-Vice-President Marshall.)


.....

Alice Duer Miller
Golf Steals Our Youth

Have you seen the golfers airy
Prancing forth to their vagary,
Just as frisky in their gaiters
As a flock of Grecian Satyrs,
.....

Norman Rowland Gale
What Almost Every Woman Knows Sooner Or Later

Husbands are things that wives have to get used to putting up with.
And with whom they breakfast with and sup with.
They interfere with the discipline of nurseries,
And forget anniversaries,
.....

Ogden Nash
The Bridge: Quaker Hill

Perspective never withers from their eyes;
They keep that docile edict of the Spring
That blends March with August Antarctic skies:
These are but cows that see no other thing
.....

Harold Hart Crane
The Golf Ball And The Loan

[After Longfellow.]


I drove a golf-ball into the air;
.....

Robert Fuller Murray
The Lay For The Troubled Golfer

d rage,
And the things he muttered were much too strong for the ink of the printed page. I found him there when the dusk came down, in his golf clothes still was he,
And his clubs were strewn around his feet as he told his grief to me:
'I'd an easy five for a seventy-nine â?? in sight of the golden goal â??
.....

Edgar Albert Guest
Any Other Time

ALL of us play our very best gameâ??
Any other time.
Golf or billiards, itâ??s all the sameâ??
Any other time.
.....

Banjo Paterson
Five-per-cent

Because I have ten thousand pounds I sit upon my stern,
And leave my living tranquilly for other folks to earn.
For in some procreative way that isn't very clear,
Ten thousand pounds will breed, they say, five hundred every year.
.....

Robert William Service
Something For The Touts, The Nuns, The Grocery Clerks, And You . . .

we have everything and we have nothing
and some men do it in churches
and some men do it by tearing butterflies
in half
.....

Charles Bukowski
The City Of Golf

Would you like to see a city given over,
Soul and body, to a tyrannising game?
If you would, there's little need to be a rover,
For St. Andrews is the abject city's name.
.....

Robert Fuller Murray
Chant For Dark Hours

Some men, some men
Cannot pass a
Book shop.
(Lady, make your mind up, and wait your life away.)
.....

Dorothy Parker
Triumph

Why am I full of joy although
It drizzles on the links?
Why am I buying Veuve Cliquot,
And setting up the drinks?
.....

Robert William Service
The Wreck Of The Golfer

It was the Bondi golfing man
Drove off from the golf house tee,
And he had taken his little daughter
To bear him company.
.....

Banjo Paterson (andrew Barton)
Will Consider Situation

There here are words of radical advice for a young man looking for a job;
Young man, be a snob.
Yes, if you are in search of arguments against starting at the bottom,
Why I've gottem.
.....

Ogden Nash
The Science Club

Hurrah for the Science Club!
Join it, ye fourth year men;
Join it, thou smooth-cheeked scrub,
Whose years scarce number ten
.....

Robert Fuller Murray
The Golf Walk

Behold, my child, this touching scene,
The golfer on the golfing-green;
Pray mark his legs' uncanny swing,
The golf-walk is a gruesome thing!
.....

Ellis Parker Butler
Any Other Time

All of us play our very best game,
Any other time.
Golf or billiards, it's all the same,
Any other time.
.....

Banjo Paterson (andrew Barton)
David Cleek

I cannot think that Death will press his claim
To snuff you out or put you off your game:
You'll still contrive to play your steady round,
Though hurricanes may sweep the dismal ground,
.....

Siegfried Sassoon
The Wreck Of The Golfer

It was the Bondi golfing man
Drove off from the golf house tee,
And he had taken his little daughter
To bear him company.
.....

Banjo Paterson
Was It You?

"Hullo, young Jones! with your tie so gay
And your pen behind your ear;
Will you mark my cheque in the usual way?
For I'm overdrawn, I fear."
.....

Robert William Service
Poem About People

The jaunty crop-haired graying
Women in grocery stores,
Their clothes boyish and neat,
New mittens or clean sneakers,
.....

Robert Pinsky
A Thought Or Two On Reading Pomfret's

I have been reading Pomfret's "Choice" this spring,
A pretty kind of--sort of--kind of thing,
Not much a verse, and poem none at all,
Yet, as they say, extremely natural.
.....

James Henry Leigh Hunt
The First Rule Of Golf

(In which Ye Ed attempts the millionaire's game and obeys the first rule of golf, which is to put back the turf.)


We stood at the tee and the driver we swung,
.....

Edgar Albert Guest