Farmer Stebbins On Rollers Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis
Rhyme Scheme: A B AACCDD EEFFGG HHIIGG AAJJII KKLLMM IILLNN OOJJPP QQRRSS TTUUVV LLWWHH XXYYJJ UUZZA2A2 B2B2C2C2AA D2D2II UUE2E2F2F2NN| ROCHESTER January | A |
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| DEAR COUSIN JOHN | B |
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| We got here safe my worthy wife an' me | A |
| An' put up at James Sunnyhopes' a pleasant place to be | A |
| An' Isabel his oldest girl is home from school just now | C |
| An' pets me with her manners all her young man will allow | C |
| An' his good wife has monstrous sweet an' culinary ways | D |
| It is a summery place to pass a few cold winter days | D |
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| Besides I've various cast iron friends in different parts o' town | E |
| That's always glad to have me call whenever I come down | E |
| But t'other day when 'mongst the same I undertook to roam | F |
| I could not find a single one that seemed to be to home | F |
| An' when I asked their whereabouts the answer was I think | G |
| If you're a goin' down that way you'll find 'em at the Rink | G |
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| I asked what night the Lyceum folks would hold their next debate | H |
| I've sometimes gone an' helped 'em wield the cares of Church an' State | H |
| An' if protracted meetin's now was holdin' anywhere | I |
| I like to get my soul fed up with fresh celestial fare | I |
| Or when the next church social was they'd give a knowin' wink | G |
| An' say I b'lieve there's nothin' now transpirin' but the Rink | G |
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| What is this 'Rink ' I innocent inquired that night at tea | A |
| Oh you must go said Isabel this very night with me | A |
| And Mrs Stebbins she must go an' skate there with us too | J |
| My wife replied My dear just please inform me when I do | J |
| But you two go An' so we went an' saw a circus there | I |
| With which few sights I've ever struck will anyways compare | I |
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| It seems a good sized meetin' house had given up its pews | K |
| The church an' pastor had resigned from spiritual blues | K |
| An' several acres of the floor was made a skatin' ground | L |
| Where folks of every shape an' size went skippin' round an' round | L |
| An' in the midst a big brass band was helpin' on the fun | M |
| An' everything was gay as sixteen weddin's joined in one | M |
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| I've seen small insects crazy like go circlin' through the air | I |
| An' wondered if they thought some time they'd maybe get somewhere | I |
| I've seen a million river bugs go scootin' round an' round | L |
| An' wondered what 'twas all about or what they'd lost or found | L |
| But men an' women boys an' girls upon a hard wood floor | N |
| All whirlin' round like folks possessed I never saw before | N |
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| An' then it straight came back to me the things I'd read an' heard | O |
| About the rinks an' how their ways was wicked an' absurd | O |
| I'd learned somewhere that skatin' wasn't a healthy thing to do | J |
| But there was Doctor Saddlebags his fam'ly with him too | J |
| I'd heard that 'twasn't a proper place for Christian folks to seek | P |
| Old Deacon Perseverance Jinks flew past me like a streak | P |
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| Then Sister Is'bel Sunnyhopes put on a pair o' skates | Q |
| An' started off as if she'd run through several different States | Q |
| My goodness how that gal showed up I never did opine | R |
| That she could twist herself to look so charmin' an' so fine | R |
| And then a fellow that she knew took hold o' hands with her | S |
| A sort o' double crossways like an' helped her as it were | S |
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| I used to skate an' 'twas a sport of which I once was fond | T |
| Why I could write my autograph on Tompkins' saw mill pond | T |
| Of course to slip on runners that is one thing one may say | U |
| An' movin' round on casters is a somewhat different way | U |
| But when the fun that fellow had came flashin' to my eye | V |
| I says I'm young again by George I'll skate once more or die | V |
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| A little boy a pair o' skates to fit my boots soon found | L |
| He had to put 'em on for me I weigh three hundred pound | L |
| An' then I straightened up an' says Look here you younger chaps | W |
| You think you're runnin' some'at past us older heads perhaps | W |
| If this young lady here to me will trust awhile her fate | H |
| I'll go around a dozen times an' show you how to skate | H |
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| She was a niceish plump young gal I'd noticed quite a while | X |
| An' she reached out her hands with 'most too daughterly a smile | X |
| But off we pushed with might an' main when all to once the wheels | Y |
| Departed suddenly above an' took along my heels | Y |
| My head assailed the floor as if 'twas tryin' to get through | J |
| An' all the stars I ever saw arrived at once in view | J |
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| 'Twas sing'lar as not quite unlike a saw log there I lay | U |
| How many of the other folks was goin' that same way | U |
| They stumbled over me in one large animated heap | Z |
| An' formed a pile o' legs an' arms not far from ten foot deep | Z |
| But after they had all climbed off in rather fierce surprise | A2 |
| I lay there like a saw log still considerin' how to rise | A2 |
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| Then dignified I rose with hands upon my ample waist | B2 |
| An' then sat down again with large and very painful haste | B2 |
| An' rose again and started off to find a place to rest | C2 |
| Then on my gentle stomach stood an' tore my meetin' vest | C2 |
| When Sister Sunnyhopes slid up as trim as trim could be | A |
| An' she an' her young fellow took compassionate charge o' me | A |
| - | |
| Then after I'd got off the skates an' flung 'em out o' reach | D2 |
| I rose while all grew hushed an' still an' made the followin' speech | D2 |
| My friends I've struck a small idea an' struck it pretty square | I |
| Which physic'ly an' morally will some attention bear | I |
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| Those who their balance can preserve are safe here any day | U |
| An' those who can't I rather think had better keep away | U |
| Then I limped out with very strong unprecedented pains | E2 |
| An' hired a horse at liberal rates to draw home my remains | E2 |
| An' lay abed three days while wife laughed at an' nursed me well | F2 |
| An' used up all the arnica two drug stores had to sell | F2 |
| An' when Miss Is'bel Sunnyhopes said Won't you skate some more | N |
| I answered Not while I remain on this terrestrial shore | N |
William Mckendree Carleton
(1)
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