Farmer Stebbins On Rollers Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

Rhyme Scheme: A B AACCDD EEFFGG HHIIGG AAJJII KKLLMM IILLNN OOJJPP QQRRSS TTUUVV LLWWHH XXYYJJ UUZZA2A2 B2B2C2C2AA D2D2II UUE2E2F2F2NN

ROCHESTER JanuaryA
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DEAR COUSIN JOHNB
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We got here safe my worthy wife an' meA
An' put up at James Sunnyhopes' a pleasant place to beA
An' Isabel his oldest girl is home from school just nowC
An' pets me with her manners all her young man will allowC
An' his good wife has monstrous sweet an' culinary waysD
It is a summery place to pass a few cold winter daysD
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Besides I've various cast iron friends in different parts o' townE
That's always glad to have me call whenever I come downE
But t'other day when 'mongst the same I undertook to roamF
I could not find a single one that seemed to be to homeF
An' when I asked their whereabouts the answer was I thinkG
If you're a goin' down that way you'll find 'em at the RinkG
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I asked what night the Lyceum folks would hold their next debateH
I've sometimes gone an' helped 'em wield the cares of Church an' StateH
An' if protracted meetin's now was holdin' anywhereI
I like to get my soul fed up with fresh celestial fareI
Or when the next church social was they'd give a knowin' winkG
An' say I b'lieve there's nothin' now transpirin' but the RinkG
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What is this 'Rink ' I innocent inquired that night at teaA
Oh you must go said Isabel this very night with meA
And Mrs Stebbins she must go an' skate there with us tooJ
My wife replied My dear just please inform me when I doJ
But you two go An' so we went an' saw a circus thereI
With which few sights I've ever struck will anyways compareI
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It seems a good sized meetin' house had given up its pewsK
The church an' pastor had resigned from spiritual bluesK
An' several acres of the floor was made a skatin' groundL
Where folks of every shape an' size went skippin' round an' roundL
An' in the midst a big brass band was helpin' on the funM
An' everything was gay as sixteen weddin's joined in oneM
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I've seen small insects crazy like go circlin' through the airI
An' wondered if they thought some time they'd maybe get somewhereI
I've seen a million river bugs go scootin' round an' roundL
An' wondered what 'twas all about or what they'd lost or foundL
But men an' women boys an' girls upon a hard wood floorN
All whirlin' round like folks possessed I never saw beforeN
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An' then it straight came back to me the things I'd read an' heardO
About the rinks an' how their ways was wicked an' absurdO
I'd learned somewhere that skatin' wasn't a healthy thing to doJ
But there was Doctor Saddlebags his fam'ly with him tooJ
I'd heard that 'twasn't a proper place for Christian folks to seekP
Old Deacon Perseverance Jinks flew past me like a streakP
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Then Sister Is'bel Sunnyhopes put on a pair o' skatesQ
An' started off as if she'd run through several different StatesQ
My goodness how that gal showed up I never did opineR
That she could twist herself to look so charmin' an' so fineR
And then a fellow that she knew took hold o' hands with herS
A sort o' double crossways like an' helped her as it wereS
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I used to skate an' 'twas a sport of which I once was fondT
Why I could write my autograph on Tompkins' saw mill pondT
Of course to slip on runners that is one thing one may sayU
An' movin' round on casters is a somewhat different wayU
But when the fun that fellow had came flashin' to my eyeV
I says I'm young again by George I'll skate once more or dieV
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A little boy a pair o' skates to fit my boots soon foundL
He had to put 'em on for me I weigh three hundred poundL
An' then I straightened up an' says Look here you younger chapsW
You think you're runnin' some'at past us older heads perhapsW
If this young lady here to me will trust awhile her fateH
I'll go around a dozen times an' show you how to skateH
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She was a niceish plump young gal I'd noticed quite a whileX
An' she reached out her hands with 'most too daughterly a smileX
But off we pushed with might an' main when all to once the wheelsY
Departed suddenly above an' took along my heelsY
My head assailed the floor as if 'twas tryin' to get throughJ
An' all the stars I ever saw arrived at once in viewJ
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'Twas sing'lar as not quite unlike a saw log there I layU
How many of the other folks was goin' that same wayU
They stumbled over me in one large animated heapZ
An' formed a pile o' legs an' arms not far from ten foot deepZ
But after they had all climbed off in rather fierce surpriseA2
I lay there like a saw log still considerin' how to riseA2
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Then dignified I rose with hands upon my ample waistB2
An' then sat down again with large and very painful hasteB2
An' rose again and started off to find a place to restC2
Then on my gentle stomach stood an' tore my meetin' vestC2
When Sister Sunnyhopes slid up as trim as trim could beA
An' she an' her young fellow took compassionate charge o' meA
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Then after I'd got off the skates an' flung 'em out o' reachD2
I rose while all grew hushed an' still an' made the followin' speechD2
My friends I've struck a small idea an' struck it pretty squareI
Which physic'ly an' morally will some attention bearI
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Those who their balance can preserve are safe here any dayU
An' those who can't I rather think had better keep awayU
Then I limped out with very strong unprecedented painsE2
An' hired a horse at liberal rates to draw home my remainsE2
An' lay abed three days while wife laughed at an' nursed me wellF2
An' used up all the arnica two drug stores had to sellF2
An' when Miss Is'bel Sunnyhopes said Won't you skate some moreN
I answered Not while I remain on this terrestrial shoreN

William Mckendree Carleton



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