Ogden Nash Poems

  • 51.  
    Adam
    Had'em
  • 52.  
    Oh, "rorty" was a mid-Victorian word
    Which meant "fine, splendid, jolly," And often to me it has reoccurred
  • 53.  
    Any hound a porcupine nudges
    Can't be blamed for harboring grudges. I know one hound that laughed all winter
  • 54.  
    Unwillingly Miranda wakes,
    Feels the sun with terror, One unwilling step she takes,
  • 55.  
    How wise I am to have instructed the butler
    to instruct the first footman to instruct the second footman to instruct the doorman to order my carriage;
  • 56.  
    I find it very difficult to enthuse
    Over the current news. Just when you think that at least the outlook is so black that it can grow no blacker, it worsens,
  • 57.  
    Candy
    Is dandy, But liquor
  • 58.  
    My friends all know that I am shy,
    But the chipmunk is twice and shy and I. He moves with flickering indecision
  • 59.  
    Purity
    Is obscurity.
  • 60.  
    I don't mind eels
    Except as meals.
  • 61.  
    Candy
    Is Dandy But liquor
  • 62.  
    The wasp and all his numerous family
    I look upon as a major calamity. He throws open his nest with prodigality,
  • 63.  
    From whence arrived the praying mantis?
    From outer space, or lost Atlantis? glimpse the grin, green metal mug
  • 64.  
    Tell me, O Octopus, I begs
    Is those things arms, or is they legs? I marvel at thee, Octopus;
  • 65.  
    I sit in an office at 244 Madison Avenue
    And say to myself You have a responsible job havenue? Why then do you fritter away your time on this doggerel?
  • 66.  
    How pleasant to sit on the beach,
    On the beach, on the sand, in the sun, With ocean galore within reach,
  • 67.  
    The camel has a single hump;
    The dromedary , two; Or else the other way around.
  • 68.  
    A mighty creature is the germ,
    Though smaller than the pachyderm. His customary dwelling place
  • 69.  
    A child need not be very clever
    To learn that "Later, dear" means "Never."
  • 70.  
    God in his wisdom made the fly
    And then forgot to tell us why.
  • 71.  
    Behold the duck.
    It does not cluck. A cluck it lacks.
  • 72.  
    The hands of the clock were reaching high
    In an old midtown hotel; I name no name, but its sordid fame
  • 73.  
    More than a catbird hates a cat,
    Or a criminal hates a clue, Or the Axis hates the United States,
  • 74.  
    Senescence begins
    And middle age ends The day your descendents
  • 75.  
    Husbands are things that wives have to get used to putting up with.
    And with whom they breakfast with and sup with. They interfere with the discipline of nurseries,
  • 76.  
    Whales have calves,
    Cats have kittens, Bears have cubs,
  • 77.  
    The people upstairs all practise ballet
    Their living room is a bowling alley Their bedroom is full of conducted tours.
  • 78.  
    Bound to your bookseller, leap to your library,
    Deluge your dealer with bakshish and bribary, Lean on the counter and never say when,
  • 79.  
    My heart leaps up when I behold
    A rainbow in the sky;Contrariwise, my blood runs cold
  • 80.  
    Praise the spells and bless the charms,
    I found April in my arms.April golden, April cloudy,
  • 81.  
    Foreigners are people somewhere else,
    Natives are people at home;If the place youâ??re at
  • 82.  
    Though you know it anyhow
    Listen to me, darling, now, Proving what I need not prove
  • 83.  
    To keep your marriage brimming
    With love in the loving cup,Whenever youâ??re wrong, admit it;
  • 84.  
    The rhino is a homely beast,
    For human eyes he's not a feast. Farwell, farewell, you old rhinoceros,
  • 85.  
    Parsley
    Is gharsley.
  • 86.  
    A shrimp who sought his lady shrimp
    Could catch no glimpseNot even a glimp.
  • 87.  
    The ostrich roams the great Sahara.
    Its mouth is wide, its neck is narra. It has such long and lofty legs,
  • 88.  
    The summer like a rajah dies,
    And every widowed treeKindles for Congregationalist eyes
  • 89.  
    OR
    The Child Is Father Of The Man, But Not For Quite A While
  • 90.  
    Some people, and it doesn't matter whether they are paupers or millionaires, Think that anything they have is the best in the world just because it is theirs. If they happen to own a 1921 jalopy, They look at their neighbor's new de luxe convertible like the wearer of a 57th Street gown at a 14th Street copy. If their seventeen-year-old child is still in the third grade they sneer at the graduation of the seventeen-year-old children of their friends, Claiming that prodigies always come to bad ends, And if their roof leaks, It's because the shingles are antiques. Other people, and if doesn't matter if they are Scandinavians or Celts, Think that anything is better than theirs just because it belongs to somebody else. If you congratulate them when their blue-blooded Doberman pinscher wins the obedience championship, they look at you like a martyr, And say that the garbage man's little Rover is really infinitely smarter; And if they smoke fifteen-cent cigars they are sure somebody else gets better cigars for a dime. And if they take a trip to Paris they are sure their friends who went to Old Orchard had a better time. Yes, they look on their neighbor's ox and ass with covetousness and their own ox and ass with abhorrence, And if they are wives they want their husband to be like Florence's Freddie, and if they are husbands they want their wives to be like Freddie's Florence. I think that comparisons are truly odious, I do not approve of this constant proud or envious to-do; And furthermore, dear friends, I think that you and yours are delightful and I also think that me and mine are delightful too.

  • 91.  
    One way to be very happy is to be very rich
    For then you can buy orchids by the quire and bacon by the flitch.And yet at the same time People don't mind if you only tip them a dime,
  • 92.  
    People expect old men to die,
    They do not really mourn old men. Old men are different. People look
  • 93.  
    One cantaloupe is ripe and lush,
    Another's green, another's mush.I'd buy a lot more cantaloupe
  • 94.  
    In January everything freezes.
    We have two children. Both are she'ses.This is our January rule:
  • 95.  
    May I join you in the doghouse, Rover?
    I wish to retire till the party's over.Since three o'clock I've done my best
  • 96.  
    Master I may be,
    But not of my fate.Now come the kisses, too many too late.
  • 97.  
    Celery, raw
    Develops the jaw,But celery, stewed,
  • 98.  
    Cuckoos lead Bohemian lives,
    They fail as husbands and as wives, Therefore they cynically disparage
  • 99.  
    As I was going to St. Ives
    I met a man with seven lives;Seven lives,
  • 100.  
    Middle-aged life is merry, and I love to
    lead it,But there comes a day when your eyes
Total 121 poems written by Ogden Nash

Poem of the day

Dusk In June
 by Sara Teasdale

Evening, and all the birds
In a chorus of shimmering sound
Are easing their hearts of joy
For miles around.

The air is blue and sweet,
The few first stars are white,-
Oh let me like the birds
...

Read complete poem

Popular Poets