Ogden Nash Poems

  • 1.  
    When I remember bygone days
    I think how evening follows morn; So many I loved were not yet dead,
  • 2.  
    In fourteen hundred and ninety-two,
    Someone sailed the ocean blue. Somebody borrowed the fare in Spain
  • 3.  
    Sure, deck your limbs in pants,
    Yours are the limbs, my sweeting. You look divine as you advance . . .
  • 4.  
    Your hopeless patients will live,
    Your healthy patients will die. I have only this word to give:
  • 5.  
    There is something about a Martini,
    A tingle remarkably pleasant; A yellow, a mellow Martini;
  • 6.  
    FIRST
    Be it a girl, or one of the boys,
  • 7.  
    Barber, barber, come and get me;
    Hairy torrents irk and fret me. Hair and hair again appears;
  • 8.  
    In Baltimore there lived a boy.
    He wasn't anybody's joy. Although his name was Jabez Dawes,
  • 9.  
    I test my bath before I sit,
    And I'm always moved to wonderment That what chills the finger not a bit
  • 10.  
    Consider the auk;
    Becoming extinct because he forgot how to fly, and could only walk. Consider man, who may well become extinct
  • 11.  
    The truth I do not stretch or shove
    When I state that the dog is full of love. I've also found, by actual test,
  • 12.  
    When people aren't asking questions
    They're making suggestions And when they're not doing one of those
  • 13.  
    This is a song to celebrate banks,
    Because they are full of money and you go into them and all you hear is clinks and clanks,
  • 14.  
    One thing that literature would be greatly the better for
    Would be a more restricted employment by the authors of simile and metaphor.
  • 15.  
    Some singers sing of ladies' eyes,
    And some of ladies lips, Refined ones praise their ladylike ways,
  • 16.  
    Belinda lived in a little white house,
    With a little black kitten and a little gray mouse, And a little yellow dog and a little red wagon,
  • 17.  
    Isabel met an enormous bear,
    Isabel, Isabel, didn't care; The bear was hungry, the bear was ravenous,
  • 18.  
    I have a bone to pick with Fate.
    Come here and tell me, girlie, Do you think my mind is maturing late,
  • 19.  
    A flea and a fly in a flue
    Were imprisoned, so what could they do? Said the fly, "let us flee!"
  • 20.  
    He who is ridden by a conscience
    Worries about a lot of nonscience; He without benefit of scruples
  • 21.  
    They tell me that euphoria is the feeling of feeling wonderful,
    well, today I feel euphorian, Today I have the agility of a Greek god and the appetitite of a
  • 22.  
    The ant has made herself illustrious
    By constant industry industrious. So what? Would you be calm and placid
  • 23.  
    One would be in less danger
    From the wiles of a stranger If one's own kin and kith
  • 24.  
    This one is entering her teens,
    Ripe for sentimental scenes, Has picked a gangling unripe male,
  • 25.  
    The firefly's flame
    Is something for which science has no name I can think of nothing eerier
  • 26.  
    Beneath this slab
    John Brown is stowed. He watched the ads
  • 27.  
    Who is the happy husband? Why, indeed,
    'Tis he who's useless in the time of need; Who, asked to unclasp a bracelet or a neckless,
  • 28.  
    Oh, weep for Mr. and Mrs. Bryan!
    He was eaten by a lion; Following which, the lion's lioness
  • 29.  
    I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance
    Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance.
  • 30.  
    A bit of talcum
    Is always walcum.
  • 31.  
    Being a father
    Is quite a bother.
  • 32.  
    He tells you when you've got on
    too much lipstick And helps you with your girdle
  • 33.  
    Let's straighten this out, my little man,
    And reach an agreement if we can. I entered your door as an honored guest.
  • 34.  
    In spite of her sniffle
    Isabel's chiffle. Some girls with a sniffle
  • 35.  
    I sit in the dusk. I am all alone.
    Enter a child and an ice-cream cone.
  • 36.  
    Behold the hippopotamus!
    We laugh at how he looks to us, And yet in moments dank and grim,
  • 37.  
    Affection is a noble quality;
    It leads to generosity and jollity. But it also leads to breach of promise
  • 38.  
    A girl whose cheeks are covered with paint
    Has an advantage with me over one whose ain't.
  • 39.  
    There here are words of radical advice for a young man looking for a job;
    Young man, be a snob. Yes, if you are in search of arguments against starting at the bottom,
  • 40.  
    The hunter crouches in his blind
    'Neath camouflage of every kind And conjures up a quacking noise
  • 41.  
    This is my dream,
    It is my own dream, I dreamt it.
  • 42.  
    There was a young belle of Natchez
    Whose garments were always in patchez. When comment arose
  • 43.  
    Bring down the moon for genteel Janet;
    She's too refined for this gross planet. She wears garments and you wear clothes,
  • 44.  
    I think that I shall never see
    A billboard lovely as a tree Indeed, unless the billboards fall
  • 45.  
    The solitary huntsman
    No coat of pink doth wear, But midnight black from cap to spur
  • 46.  
    People live forever in Jacksonville and St. Petersburg and Tampa,
    But you don't have to live forever to become a grampa. The entrance requirements for grampahood are comparatively mild,
  • 47.  
    "Beep-beep.
    BANKERS TRUST AUTOMOBILE LOAN You'll find a banker at Bankers Trust"

  • 48.  
    Some primal termite knocked on wood
    And tasted it, and found it good! And that is why your Cousin May
  • 49.  
    Higgledy piggledy, my black hen,
    She lays eggs for gentlemen. Gentlemen come every day
  • 50.  
    There is one thing that ought to be taught in all the colleges,
    Which is that people ought to be taught not to go around always making apologies. I don't mean the kind of apologies people make when they run over you or borrow five dollars or step on your feet,
Total 121 poems written by Ogden Nash

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We swing ungirded hips,
And lightened are our eyes,
The rain is on our lips,
We do not run for prize.
We know not whom we trust
Nor whitherward we fare,
But we run because we must
Through the great wide air.
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