Ogden Nash Poems
The Middle When I remember bygone days
I think how evening follows morn;
So many I loved were not yet dead,
Look What You Did, Christopher! In fourteen hundred and ninety-two,
Someone sailed the ocean blue.
Somebody borrowed the fare in Spain
What's The Use? Sure, deck your limbs in pants,
Yours are the limbs, my sweeting.
You look divine as you advance . . .
Old Dr. Valentine To His Son Your hopeless patients will live,
Your healthy patients will die.
I have only this word to give:
A Drink With Something In It There is something about a Martini,
A tingle remarkably pleasant;
A yellow, a mellow Martini;
First Child ... Second Child FIRST
Be it a girl, or one of the boys,
I'll Get One Tomorrow Barber, barber, come and get me;
Hairy torrents irk and fret me.
Hair and hair again appears;
The Boy Who Laughed At Santa Claus In Baltimore there lived a boy.
He wasn't anybody's joy.
Although his name was Jabez Dawes,
Samson Agonistes I test my bath before I sit,
And I'm always moved to wonderment That what chills the finger not a bit
A Caution To Everybody Consider the auk;
Becoming extinct because he forgot how to fly, and could only walk.
Consider man, who may well become extinct
The Dog The truth I do not stretch or shove
When I state that the dog is full of love.
I've also found, by actual test,
More About People When people aren't asking questions
They're making suggestions And when they're not doing one of those
Bankers Are Just Like Anybody Else, Except Richer This is a song to celebrate banks,
Because they are full of money and you go into them and all you hear is clinks and clanks,
Very Like A Whale One thing that literature would be greatly the better for
Would be a more restricted employment by the authors of simile and
The Clean Plater Some singers sing of ladies' eyes,
And some of ladies lips,
Refined ones praise their ladylike ways,
The Tale Of Custard The Dragon Belinda lived in a little white house,
With a little black kitten and a little gray mouse, And a little yellow dog and a little red wagon,
Adventures Of Isabel Isabel met an enormous bear,
Isabel, Isabel, didn't care;
The bear was hungry, the bear was ravenous,
Lines On Facing Forty I have a bone to pick with Fate.
Come here and tell me, girlie,
Do you think my mind is maturing late,
A Flea And A Fly In A Flue A flea and a fly in a flue
Were imprisoned, so what could they do?
Said the fly, "let us flee!"
Reflection On The Fallibility Of Nemesis He who is ridden by a conscience
Worries about a lot of nonscience;
He without benefit of scruples
No Doctor's Today, Thank You They tell me that euphoria is the feeling of feeling wonderful,
well, today I feel euphorian,
Today I have the agility of a Greek god and the appetitite of a
The Ant The ant has made herself illustrious
By constant industry industrious.
So what? Would you be calm and placid
Family Court One would be in less danger
From the wiles of a stranger
If one's own kin and kith
The Romantic Age This one is entering her teens,
Ripe for sentimental scenes,
Has picked a gangling unripe male,
The Firefly The firefly's flame
Is something for which science has no name I can think of nothing eerier
Lather As You Go Beneath this slab
John Brown is stowed.
He watched the ads
The Joyous Malingerer Who is the happy husband? Why, indeed,
'Tis he who's useless in the time of need;
Who, asked to unclasp a bracelet or a neckless,
The Lion Oh, weep for Mr. and Mrs. Bryan!
He was eaten by a lion;
Following which, the lion's lioness
Introspective Reflection I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance
Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance.
Reflection On Babies A bit of talcum
Is always walcum.
Soliloquy In Circles Being a father
Is quite a bother.
The Perfect Husband He tells you when you've got on
too much lipstick
And helps you with your girdle
To A Small Boy Standing On My Shoes While I Am Wearing Them Let's straighten this out, my little man,
And reach an agreement if we can.
I entered your door as an honored guest.
The Sniffle In spite of her sniffle
Some girls with a sniffle
Tableau At Twilight I sit in the dusk. I am all alone.
Enter a child and an ice-cream cone.
The Hippopotamus Behold the hippopotamus!
We laugh at how he looks to us,
And yet in moments dank and grim,
Reflection On Caution Affection is a noble quality;
It leads to generosity and jollity.
But it also leads to breach of promise
Biological Reflection A girl whose cheeks are covered with paint
Has an advantage with me over one whose ain't.
Will Consider Situation There here are words of radical advice for a young man looking for a job;
Young man, be a snob.
Yes, if you are in search of arguments against starting at the bottom,
The Hunter The hunter crouches in his blind
'Neath camouflage of every kind
And conjures up a quacking noise
My Dream This is my dream,
It is my own dream, I dreamt it.
Requiem There was a young belle of Natchez
Whose garments were always in patchez.
When comment arose
Good-by Now Or Pardon My Gauntlet Bring down the moon for genteel Janet;
She's too refined for this gross planet.
She wears garments and you wear clothes,
Song Of The Open Road I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree
Indeed, unless the billboards fall
The Solitary Huntsman The solitary huntsman
No coat of pink doth wear,
But midnight black from cap to spur
Come On In, The Senility Is Fine People live forever in Jacksonville and St. Petersburg and Tampa,
But you don't have to live forever to become a grampa.
The entrance requirements for grampahood are comparatively mild,
If He Were Alive Today, Mayhap, Mr. Morgan Would Sit On The Midget's Lap "Beep-beep.
BANKERS TRUST AUTOMOBILE LOAN
You'll find a banker at Bankers Trust"
The Termite Some primal termite knocked on wood
And tasted it, and found it good! And that is why your Cousin May
One From One Leaves Two Higgledy piggledy, my black hen,
She lays eggs for gentlemen.
Gentlemen come every day
Just Keep Quiet And Nobody Will Notice There is one thing that ought to be taught in all the colleges,
Which is that people ought to be taught not to go around always making apologies.
I don't mean the kind of apologies people make when they run over you or borrow five dollars or step on your feet,
Total 121 poems written by Ogden Nash