Riding the highs and lows.
I am out of control:

Unable to control my impulses
Unwilling to follow my conscience

Of the beaten track unwilling to turn back
I should know better usually following the rules to the letter

Unwilling to stop myself deeper and deeper I delve…
I am willing to drown for now.

Enjoying every moment of my enlightenment.
The highs and lows could be my downfall.

It was my downfall. I am now only able to crawl.
Feeling helpless and alone cuts deep to the bone.

Cutting myself, a form of punishment….