Its a pretty day today, I love days like these because the cold soothing wind that blows is a reminder of you being by my side no matter what comes. The clouds that shelter me from the sun remind me of how the thought of you keeps all the dark memories away. The slight rain feels like your kisses filled with love and compassion making me sure of good and kindness in this world
But today isn't a pretty day although it's like the ones i look forward to the most, but just like most things i ruined it.
The clouds are darker than i remember and the thougts they bring darker still.
The slight rain mirrors my eyes and no matter how much the clouds and I cry we cant wash my guilt away.
The wind is colder than i can handle like the coldness in your voice, its leaving me behind like you want to get rid of my annoying self.
I did do this to me, to my world; you.
I turned your love for me into the coldness of sorrow, the clouds cry and so do I because we both are witnesses to the pain i caused. It weeps for you, every drop feels like your tears so heavy and painful. It tears at my flesh it calls to my guilt it courses through my veins it wants to escape, what was the essence of my life to my being is poison your love is like fire burning me away because i know how much pain i caused, i want to forget i want to pick a fight so i might have a chance to say it wasn't me cause the reason for it can't be me. The one love you so much the one you gave your heart to the one you invited with open arms into your care, and i gave you thorns and poison yet you still smiled at me.
I don't deserve it i know, something so pure. But i want it i cant live without it, your love as much as the guilt causes me pain i have to suffer to understand how you did
I'd tear my heart out cut it open, it was mistake my love nothing so sinister. I'd cut my veins open to show you, what runs in them nothing but guilt for what i did to you. Id lash me if I could, to show you creeping under the skin the guilt of my sin, my sin to you
I cant talk about it my throat gets clenched, the horror of the monster i am the reality of the pain i caused is too much bear. We all have our faults but mine are crimes, can you you find it in your heart to firgive me one last time.
Our vows were different they were pure, i broke them with my own hands of that im sure
I'd cut them off for this crime but i want you to hold my hand again and walk by my side.
I still cant put into words how i feel but believe me I suffer, not as much as you but i suffer indeed
Forgive me please I cant have my world turn on me, one last chance. Forgive my crime, for forgiveness is divine and you surely are, the purest of pure the light of my heart.
I usually like these days but today isn't beautiful, for i caused my love pain.
The sky turns on me and so does the wind, for the love that you have left for me save me with all your grace.
Today's not a good day.