Growing up black, rural and colonized
What a curse, or a blessing in disguise
It is how you look at life, or just how you want it.
Those were the days I thought being white was Godly
How I wished I could be them, of cause
I knew them, I saw how they lived, and theirs was the standard
I wonder if they ever looked at me, if they did,
I wonder what it is they saw, maybe just another primate.
Yes my mother cooked for them, served them,
Did every chore in the book until they went to sleep.
She would wake them up in the morning,
Get their children ready for school,
I had to get myself ready for my distant school.
She was a mother, I so much loved and adored,
More for working for the white man
Which left her little time for me,
Otherwise I wouldn't enjoy
Those valuable leftovers that made my life.
Every day she retired to bed, she was so spent
But in her eyes I saw an undying hope
That one day she would be just mine, all mine.
Those were the days, and I don't carry no grudge.
Those days I thought there was no crazy white people
Always wondering what they did to them
My own crazies roamed the streets and swore obscenities.
White was the most beautiful thing I wish I could be.
Their used clothes were my Christmas treats
How I valued those outdated toys I received,
How I cherished my momma for working for them,
She got me everything they didn't need anymore.
How I forced my feet into those shoes they outgrew.
Those little boys and girls that took away my momma
Calling her by her first name, like she was a little girl
She would always be my momma, not Josephine.
That was thirty something years ago
Today she is so used up, still my heroin.
She was in an accident, with one of those many men
That always took her life for a ride, that day
That precious life almost got stolen from me
Thank God she survived, I still can’t believe she did.

The scars of that fateful day will always live with her
As to remind her how she lost her cherished job,
No pension, no insurance, had to start all over, destitute
I was her dream, her hope, her trophy for a life well spent
I still remain that way, she never gave up on me
Thousands of miles away, still running for those dreams.
I have crossed the oceans, looking for fortunes
A godly smile that could change my fate
The same ocean my folks crossed, bound, gagged and blindfolded
Into hundreds of years of sequacious existence.
That's the legacy of colonization.
It's not easy, but I just want to take care of my momma
I know she prays day and night
That my dreams may one day come true
I pray on my side, that she holds on long enough
For me to do for her, what my heart dies to
I beg God that he keeps her living
For as long as it takes, for me to put that long overdue smile
On that scarred face, that has known a lot of indigence.
Sometimes I wonder where Serena is
She is that white lady, who for years entrusted to my momma
The upbringing of her beautiful white children
I know she probably forgotten, it pains my heart
Just to think of momma Jossy
That all she got, for a life I could not enjoy
Was an apology and a lay off?
Sometimes I wish I could get those precious days
Moments in the baby in me that I never had.
I met white people now, not as masters of my life
Of my momma of cause, she lived the best of it for them
I can't believe they are so human
If only they can take away those scars on her face
Those are the scars that won't liberate my heart
The cause of this infinite ache.
I look at her picture today
I haven't seen her in years
She is getting old, the lines on her face become defined
It scares me, but to find myself in prayerful soliloquy
Hold on momma, don't you dare go before I see you again
Oh Lord, just let her live a little longer
I know how much she goes through, and
I do so little to better it, I struggle daily
Just give me the chance to tell her.

What a world I have seen, what a people I have known
All because of her tenacity to live on
I know she will be proud of me
Not because I have done anything great
But because I dreamt, and I shouted about it
For the whole world to know
They are my dreams, even if they don't come true.
I love you momma Jossy, I adore you angel
I know you will never break my heart
I will be back home, just hold on OK
I am going to make you proud, make you happy
It's my dream I love to dream.