Oh Lord, I wanna commit suicide?
Would you care if I died?
I've got a gun on one hand.
Pulling the trigger would mark my end.

A rope on the other, I could hang myself and wake up in eternity.
My reasons for choosing death are close to infinity.
What about a bottle of rat poison under my bed?
It would slowly take my life away, would that make you sad?

Jump off a cliff, fall from high above and crash to death.
I just wanna vanish from this earth.
I wouldn't want to break every bone in my body and live.
I'm tired of what life has to give.

I've made up my mind, I want to die.
Would you care if I die?
Am I doing it for someone?
Hell no!, they ruined my life but I've many reasons besides that one.

And if I do it for them, they would have won.
Am not doing it for someone, I made this choice on my own.
I've tried every solution.
But this is the last option.

I've tried my best, I swear I tried.
I want people to remember that I tried my best before I died.
We will take care of you, they lied!!!
Oh Lord would you let me swallow my pride.

My demons are tormenting me, should I give in?
We are living in a world I can't survive in.
Should I go all Middle East and use a suicide vest?
This would hurt my family and friends but I swear I tried my best.

Instead of a suicide vest, a bullet straight through my head will do for me.
I wouldn't want innocent people to go down with me.
That wouldn't be fair.
Oh Lord, if I die would you care?

This miserable life of mine has tested me to the limit.
Will you allow me to commit it.

WRITTEN BY SAMAL (15/12/2019)

Lord am so glad that you didn't let me commit suicide.
I'm so grateful that you cared and found me every time I tried.
I would have missed out on so much, watching my daughter Tamia grow up.
Everytime I tried to commit suicide, you showed up.
I'm so glad you did.