Listen up, dear folks, and hear my words,
For I have a tale that must be heard,
It's about a crazy idea that has been stirred,
Of food serving itself, oh how absurd!

Imagine, at your front, a meal so grand,
Serving itself,
Ah!
Will it be courteous?
I bet my soul,
Chaos will reign, plates will sail,
Food will fly, a spaghetti hail.

Pots and pans incessantly cluttering the racks and sinks,
In some noisy and endless debate,
About no one to clean up for the nagging dinner to serve itself in time,
It's a mess that stinks!
Consuming self-serving food is a labor of love,
But putting up with the sabotage
Of hypocritical kitchenware
And the nagging dinner itself is like fighting a determined dragon.

And think of the risks at hand,
Veggies might revolt and take a stand,
Salads might dump
Dressing all over you at the command of some miniature animal proteins,

And let's not even get started,
On the table ethics of the food serving itself;
"Excuse me, Mr. Chicken, could you pass the salt?"
"Oh, I'm sorry but I think there's already too much salt in me:
Otherwise did you mean to lick a packet of salt,
And a tiny piece of the chicken or are you just kidding?
And could not it be better, if you cooked a small piece of your meat
Then put a sea of salt in it
To see if it tastes alike on your portion man as on your tongue?"

Won't things be crazy
Plates and forks would go flying,
And our dining experience become terrifying.

The carrots might revolt and refuse to mash,
The broccoli may gang up and make a dash,
The gravy might pour itself and cause a splash,
And we'll all end up being stained with spaghetti sauce.

So! I'm afraid it's bad news
For all the lazy people
Who hope their dinner would magically serve itself.
Nope, sorry folks, you're going to have to get up,
Off that couch and do some work.

Though it takes some effort, it's clear,
Our table experience will be safer, we won't have to fear,
So wear your apron, without a tear,
Cook up that feast, make it delicious and dear.

Now, let's get cooking and create a feast,
Start with some soup, then move on to the roast beast,
Mashed potatoes, asparagus, the list will not cease,
And finally, a little innovative maneuvers, for the sweet release.

And then - serve your dinner, without any fear,
And enjoy your meal, with loved ones near,
For hard work equals a happy tummy,
And that's something we can all cheer!