I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.
Quote by Mitch Hedberg
Click on the picture of Mitch Hedberg quote you want to see a larger version.
I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.
Click on the picture of Mitch Hedberg quote you want to see a larger version.
Mitch Hedberg Quotes
- If my kid couldn't draw I'd make sure that my kitchen magnets didn't work.
- I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.
- I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.
- Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show.
- Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'
- I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time. You don't have to fry them again after all.
- I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
- I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle.
- I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.
- Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.
- I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart.
Best Quotes
- I always wanted to be honest with myself and to those who have had faith in me.
- The serve, I was too young and too small and... not enough powerful to have a good serve when I was young, so my forehand was always my signature shot. So I used to always run around my backhand, you know, use my forehand as much as I could, and so that's why I think it's my strength also today, you know.
- I did all the right things in so many tournaments. But like I said, sometimes in sports it just goes the other way. Maybe you've already won so much that it evens it out a bit sometimes. I don't know.
- I used to get nervous, you know if my parents would come watch. And then I would get nervous if my friends came and watched. Today it's not a problem anymore actually, because now I enjoy it. I see that they, you know, respect me immensely, and I try to put on a good show and show that I can still play very good tennis.
- When I won in 2003, never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would win Wimbledon and have my kids seeing me lift the trophy, so this is pretty surreal. And yeah, I was almost shocked in the moment that it all came together so nicely.
- Before, I guess, mum and dad were everything, but now, in my case, I had two new girls and all of a sudden they're completely dependent on you and there's a third generation. It's a funny shift all of a sudden. You have the babies, you have yourself and then you have your parents.
- My dad said if you become a tennis professional just make sure you get into the top hundred, because you have to make a little bit of money. You make a living so you can pay your coaching and, you know, your travels.
- When you do something best in life, you don't really want to give that up - and for me it's tennis.
- When there is nothing to talk about don't force yourself to say anything because it may land you in trouble.
- It’s crazy how people say, "I rely on facts," And believe thier television sets.
- Some people are drawn naturally - there are natural guitarists, and there are natural piano players, and I think guitar implies travel, a sort of footloose gypsy existence. You grab your bag and you go to the next town.