Comments about Mitch Hedberg

Click to write a comment about Mitch Hedberg

DalyMuse: Is that a hippopotamus or just, like, a really cool Opotamus? - Mitch Hedberg

Pulped_: Haha imagine burger and diet coke hands trying to strangle you, it would be like the Mitch Hedberg turtleneck joke.

StribGuy: The Northstar Center escalators are in Mitch Hedberg mode.

bmorealien: It’s like that Mitch Hedberg joke. “Here’s a picture of me when I was younger.” “EVERY PICTURE OF YOU is a picture of you when you was younger”

BoricuaEnMaui: To paraphrase the late comedian Mitch Hedberg: Wearing a turtleneck is like being constantly strangled by a very weak midget.

RedMachineCCCP: Mitch Hedberg points out the fatal flaw of using flyering as praxis

DEFishback: In today's random mashup, I've been doing Mitch Hedberg as Chairman Thompson: "Pursuant to Rule 3, I recognize myself for questions. Mister Chairman, do you have any questions? Why yes, I do. How did you know?"

QuotationsPod: Mitch Hedberg...funny? Yes. Profound? Absolutely. Episode 108 is out now! Give it a listen.

BrunoContesini6: I've never skateboarded or surfed in my life but I love the movie the Lord's of dogtown wish I grew up in Cali and skated and surfed instead of soccer basketball and baseball every day ! Heath ledger forever ! Mitch hedberg too!

danielkharlow: With apologies to Mitch Hedberg, I need this doughnut receipt so I can write it off as a work expense.

TMeisterJ: Someone told me I reminded them of Mitch Hedberg. Now I’ve never had a better compliment. Plus, the coolest shoes.

Brendelbored: Thinking about Mitch Hedberg and how the greatness of this joke is that it’s funny but the more you think about it the more you realize he invented slender man

TrivWorks: Mitch Hedberg would’ve been the undisputed Twitter king

6Batt6Fink6: Every year or so it’s important and healthy to go back and listen to Mitch Hedberg

stephenstrom1: ... Paths of Glory, Tower of Song, BioShock, When Lilacs Last in the Dooryard Bloom'd, Nina Simone, Rabbit is Rich, Bitches Brew, Swimming to Cambodia, Lectures on Literature, Dark Souls, The Castle of the Pyrenees, Mao II, Mitch Hedberg, Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman!...

peppercutsgrass: Mitch Hedberg’s “angry in a tent” joke.

macaco_napoles: Never forget: A fly was very close to being called a land, because that's what it does half the time. Mitch Hedberg

HistoryBoyle: Mitch Hedberg lied.

BlackDelphinium: RIP Edward Teach, you would have loved Mitch Hedberg. (Also, RIP Mitch, miss you, man)

ImtiazMadmood: “My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.” ~ Mitch Hedberg

_shipssail: Mitch Hedberg joke about rice except it’s buying a packet of seeds to plant for literally any vegetable

AHealthyBod: Mitch Hedberg My fake plants died quote

NerdClipsVideo: Mitch Hedberg: Classic Set at Just For Laughs from 2001! ....

HappyDaysDev: Here is the best one liner from the legend, Mitch Hedberg “My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.”

Crash528: I tried to walk into Target but i missed - Mitch Hedberg

VicAEsco: Rolling Stone keeps tweeting this photo and I keep thinking Joe Kerry is doing a perfect Mitch Hedberg.

michaelrkenned2: Mitch Hedberg. And he's hysterical.

HaHaHyenasNFT: Community is important when learning any skill. Comics are thought to be loners but its well known they often ran in groups. Joey Diaz ran with Stanhope, Ralphie May, and Mitch Hedberg. Joe Rogan ran with Callen and Comedy store comics. Texas Outlaws were famous for their loyalty

Crowsankle: “I find that a duck’s opinion of me is very much influenced over whether or not I have bread.” – Mitch Hedberg

ParchmentScroll: Just remembered how Mitch Hedberg's career was basically just shitposts, but on stage.

GSWSyndicate: I put fruit on top of my waffles, because I want something to brush off.- Mitch Hedberg

garagebarrage: Mitch Hedberg would have dominated twitter

Robert_D_Rutt: [Mitch Hedberg voice] That is okay, daffodils. It is not your fault.

Micah_McGurk: I speak fluent Mitch Hedberg

StxV: To borrow from the late Mitch Hedberg, COVID is the only disease that people congratulate you for having "Congrats, Otto, you have lupus!" "Congrats, Otto, your antibodies may be effective against some variants for an unknown period of weeks or months!"

RadMartigan84: I get so excited when I meet someone who loves Mitch Hedberg’s comedy as much as I do

benedictsred: I would never care about being funny if it weren’t for Mitch Hedberg.

anotherplace666: People who don’t think Mitch Hedberg is funny are people of low vibration

mitchhedbot: I got a business card, cause I wanna win some lunches. That's what my business card says: "Mitch Hedberg, Potential Lunch Winner."

tweetz789: I didn’t go to college, but if I did, I would’ve taken all my tests at a restaurant, ’cause ‘The customer is always right.’- Mitch Hedberg

pookleblinky: The opposite of a dark sense of humor is an ecosphere-flensing gamma ray burst of humor. Mitch Hedberg could have cracked the planet in half if he had wanted to.

M_Hedberg: ☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️ Photo cred: Mitch Hedberg Jokes FB

MaestroRandy: Now Playing on Q108 Kingston Mitch Hedberg on Letterman - Mitch Hedberg on Letterman - Stand Up Comedy 2/3/1998 Mitch Hedberg on Letterman

NerdClipsVideo: Mitch Hedberg: Classic Set at Just For Laughs from 2001! ....

RedditJokesBot: Here is the best one liner from the legend, Mitch Hedberg “My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.”

banishedprotein: “A friend showed me a picture and said ‘this is me when I was younger.’ “EVERY picture of you is a picture of you when you were younger” - Mitch Hedberg

SheikhSayeed07: I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming. ~ Mitch Hedberg Sayeed COUPLE GOALS MUNAZ

GSWSyndicate: If my kid couldn�t draw I�d make sure that my kitchen magnets didn�t work.- Mitch Hedberg

MirrorinSpace: 1/ Mitch Hedberg bit: I was doing a show the other night. I wasn't getting a lot of laughs. The owner of the club came up to me after the show, he said "Mitch, you're gonna have to vacuum the club." He made me vacuum.

SarcasmLiving: Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus? Mitch Hedberg

RazzBDon: Said person under 30: Who is Mitch Hedberg? Me:

HeartyWhite: Hey, oscillating fan, is Mitch Hedberg my favorite stand up comedian? Liar!

RazzBDon: They're like if you took a ska band, that was heavily influenced by Chuck Mangione, and stuck Mitch Hedberg as the lead singer.

robindun: Mitch Hedberg on Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee

kontayjis422: I miss Mitch Hedberg. He saw life in a different perspective. And he made me laugh.

JoeyGold24k: Mitch Hedberg was like the Joker meme. He even looked like him in the movie

JoeyGold24k: Mitch Hedberg: Waffles Are Like Pancakes With Syrup Traps | Late Night W...

DaveLadd37: Mitch Hedberg on the Late Show 3/12/03

stephvalentine_: a guy just quoted Mitch Hedberg at me like it was his own material, i have secondhand embarrassment. he should’ve picked another woman who didn’t spend all of her formative years hyperfixated on stand-up comedy

John9494949: Caption: John Special Retro Edition. Circa '99. Middle school maybe? "I think BigFoot IS blurry, that's the problem!" - Mitch Hedberg (1968-2005) "Don't quote me, a$$clown." - John Murray (1985-20??)

tweetz789: I didn’t go to college, but if I did, I would’ve taken all my tests at a restaurant, ’cause ‘The customer is always right.’- Mitch Hedberg

Dealing4Aces: If 13 is unlucky, then 12 and 14 are guilty by association. - Mitch Hedberg

Julsey1886: Tried Ricky Gervais and he's basically David Brent. I guarantee if Billy Connelly or Mitch Hedberg were still doing stand up they wouldn't be peddling boring bollocks about things that the sun and mail push. And if they did it'd be funny

JessStCool: Mitch Hedberg energy.

rajandelman: People say Mitch Hedberg never punched down. Yeah, and it cost him his life

jasonyitzie: “I haven’t slept for ten days, because that would be too long.” - Mitch Hedberg

ajtonge40: Imagine thinking that Mitch Hedberg wasn’t hilarious

iantothemax: it kinda sounds like a mitch hedberg bit but i got pinched by a pincher bug, didn't know they actually did that

isitbawal__: “I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.”—Mitch Hedberg KODREA AT NYLONBBBA

knope44: Mitch Hedberg made a career of non-offensive jokes. Just saying…

flex_apro: Guy at the bar just quoted Mitch Hedberg by accident I guess and I said I love Mitch Hedberg and he said “uhhh what…?” Ok

nmainardiauthor: Mitch Hedberg is my favorite comedian for this very reason. I’ve never heard one disparaging or tone-deaf joke from him. One of the many reasons I wish he was still alive

TCMHealthJL: Mitch Hedberg had no mercy for frozen bananas and circles ... Damn circles.

seanbco: My wife just watered our fake plants. Mitch Hedberg lives on

elejia: I'm like mitch hedberg (rip) only not funny.

EchelonIsBack: Umm sir I don’t know how to tell you this but I think your child may be the reincarnation of Mitch Hedberg

bitchydarlin: Lookin for a dude with those mitch hedberg vibes

FKIN: Mitch Hedberg: I walked into Target, but I missed. I think the entrance to Target should have people splattered all around. Just now realizing that I took that joke completely the wrong way; I wasn't supposed to agree with it.

kristoncapps: This bad question reminds me of the Mitch Hedberg joke: "Have you ever tried sugar, or PCP?"

EricFaceplant: Land Captain, the new cat, opening for Mitch Hedberg.

GSWSyndicate: I put fruit on top of my waffles, because I want something to brush off.- Mitch Hedberg

Burtonesque92: One of my pleasures in life is playing my Spotify "liked songs" shuffle-style and landing on a Mitch Hedberg line - not even a whole track, just A line, because Hedberg.

quot3bot: "I like an escalator because an escalator can never break, it can only become stairs." ~ Mitch Hedberg

RecitsSox: "Where tf did you get that Red Banana at ?" - Mitch Hedberg

KarmaSGSP: Mitch Hedberg - The Reason We Can't Find Big Foot

liamatera: "You know when there's a fishing show on TV and they catch a fish but then they let it go? They don't want to eat the fish, but they do want to make it late for something." "I'd like to see a forklift lift a crate of forks. It'd be so damn literal." Mitch Hedberg

muslimgazi: OpenAI doing it’s best Mitch Hedberg impression

bducksav: I don't get the "comedy is based in pain" concept. I don't belive every joke has a victim. Mitch Hedberg did a joke about a donut having a receipt. This is dumb.

caitiedelaney: yeah I remember when Mitch Hedberg canceled rice

svenisms: Mitch Hedberg once said “Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.” and it was a top tier banger with no victim

RonFunches: Escalators never recovered from being victimized by Mitch Hedberg.

RickWebb: Mitch Hedberg: An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs.

Zachman285: Movie: Scent of a Woman TV Show: Sopranos Book: Lords of the Realm by John Helyar Album: 1989 - Taylor Swift Comic - Mitch Hedberg (cheated - don’t do “comics”) Game - Breath of the Wild, Classic: Chrono Trigger

FactsXtra: Comedian Mitch Hedberg never passed on a job, having been told “no” so often early in his career that he felt like if he didn’t say “yes”, he might not be given the opportunity to perform again.

tweetz789: I didn’t go to college, but if I did, I would’ve taken all my tests at a restaurant, ’cause ‘The customer is always right.’- Mitch Hedberg

Write your comment about Mitch Hedberg

Poem of the day

Andrew Lang Poem
Woman And The Weed
 by Andrew Lang


In the Morning of Time, when his fortunes began,
How bleak, how un-Greek, was the Nature of Man!
From his wigwam, if ever he ventured to roam,
There was nobody waiting to welcome him home;
For the Man had been made, but the woman had NOT,
And Earth was a highly detestable spot.

Read complete poem

Popular Poets