The Diary Of An Old Soul. - October. Poem Rhyme Scheme

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George Macdonald

The Diary Of An Old Soul. - October. Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

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	A
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REMEMBER Lord thou hast not made me good	B
Or if thou didst it was so long ago	C
I have forgotten and never understood	B
I humbly think At best it was a crude	D
A rough hewn goodness that did need this woe	C
This sin these harms of all kinds fierce and rude	D
To shape it out making it live and grow	C
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But thou art making me I thank thee sire	E
What thou hast done and doest thou know'st well	F
And I will help thee gently in thy fire	E
I will lie burning on thy potter's wheel	G
I will whirl patient though my brain should reel	G
Thy grace shall be enough the grief to quell	F
And growing strength perfect through weakness dire	H
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I have not knowledge wisdom insight thought	I
Nor understanding fit to justify	J
Thee in thy work O Perfect Thou hast brought	I
Me up to this and lo what thou hast wrought	I
I cannot call it good But I can cry	J
O enemy the maker hath not done	K
One day thou shalt behold and from the sight wilt run	K
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The faith I will aside is easily bent	L
But of thy love my God one glimpse alone	M
Can make me absolutely confident	N
With faith hope joy in love responsive blent	N
My soul then in the vision mighty grown	M
Its father and its fate securely known	M
Falls on thy bosom with exultant moan	M
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Thou workest perfectly And if it seem	O
Some things are not so well 'tis but because	P
They are too loving deep too lofty wise	Q
For me poor child to understand their laws	P
My highest wisdom half is but a dream	O
My love runs helpless like a falling stream	O
Thy good embraces ill and lo its illness dies	Q
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From sleep I wake and wake to think of thee	R
But wherefore not with sudden glorious glee	R
Why burst not gracious on me heaven and earth	S
In all the splendour of a new day birth	S
Why hangs a cloud betwixt my lord and me	R
The moment that my eyes the morning greet	N
My soul should panting rush to clasp thy father feet	N
	-
	-
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Is it because it is not thou I see	R
But only my poor blotted fancy of thee	R
Oh never till thyself reveal thy face	T
Shall I be flooded with life's vital grace	T
Oh make my mirror heart thy shining place	T
And then my soul awaking with the morn	U
Shall be a waking joy eternally new born	U
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Lord in my silver is much metal base	T
Else should my being by this time have shown	M
Thee thy own self therein Therefore do I	J
Wake in the furnace I know thou sittest by	J
Refining look keep looking in to try	J
Thy silver master look and see thy face	T
Else here I lie for ever blank as any stone	M
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But when in the dim silver thou dost look	V
I do behold thy face though blurred and faint	N
Oh joy no flaw in me thy grace will brook	V
But still refine slow shall the silver pass	W
From bright to brighter till sans spot or taint	N
Love well content shall see no speck of brass	W
And I his perfect face shall hold as in a glass	W
	-
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With every morn my life afresh must break	X
The crust of self gathered about me fresh	Y
That thy wind spirit may rush in and shake	X
The darkness out of me and rend the mesh	Y
The spider devils spin out of the flesh	Y
Eager to net the soul before it wake	X
That it may slumberous lie and listen to the snake	X
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'Tis that I am not good that is enough	Z
I pry no farther that is not the way	A2
Here O my potter is thy making stuff	Z
Set thy wheel going let it whir and play	A2
The chips in me the stones the straws the sand	N
Cast them out with fine separating hand	N
And make a vessel of thy yielding clay	A2
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What if it take a thousand years to make me	R
So me he leave not angry on the floor	B2
Nay thou art never angry that would break me	R
Would I tried never thy dear patience sore	B2
But were as good as thou couldst well expect me	R
Whilst thou dost make I mar and thou correct me	R
Then were I now content waiting for something more	B2
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Only my God see thou that I content thee	R
Oh take thy own content upon me God	N
Ah never never sure wilt thou repent thee	R
That thou hast called thy Adam from the clod	N
Yet must I mourn that thou shouldst ever find me	R
One moment sluggish needing more of the rod	N
Than thou didst think when thy desire designed me	R
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My God it troubles me I am not better	E
More help I pray still more Thy perfect debtor	E
I shall be when thy perfect child I am grown	M
My Father help me am I not thine own	M
Lo other lords have had dominion o'er me	R
But now thy will alone I set before me	R
Thy own heart's life Lord thou wilt not abhor me	R
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In youth when once again I had set out	N
To find thee Lord my life my liberty	R
A window now and then clouds all about	N
Would open into heaven my heart forlorn	U
First all would tremble with a solemn glee	R
Then whelmed in peace rest like a man outworn	U
That sees the dawn slow part the closed lids of the morn	U
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Now I grow old and the soft gathered years	C2
Have calmed yea dulled the heart's swift fluttering beat	N
But a quiet hope that keeps its household seat	N
Is better than recurrent glories fleet	N
To know thee Lord is worth a many tears	D2
And when this mildew age has dried away	A2
My heart will beat again as young and strong and gay	A2
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Stronger and gayer tenfold but O friends	E2
Not for itself nor any hoarded bliss	F2
I see but vaguely whither my being tends	E2
All vaguely spy a glory shadow blent	N
Vaguely desire the individual kiss	F2
But when I think of God a large content	N
Fills the dull air of my gray cloudy tent	N
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Father of me thou art my bliss secure	G2
Make of me maker whatsoe'er thou wilt	N
Let fancy's wings hang moulting hope grow poor	H2
And doubt steam up from where a joy was spilt	N
I lose no time to reason it plain and clear	I2
But fly to thee my life's perfection dear	I2
Not what I think but what thou art makes sure	G2
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This utterance of spirit through still thought	N
This forming of heart stuff in moulds of brain	U
Is helpful to the soul by which 'tis wrought	N
The shape reacting on the heart again	U
But when I am quite old and words are slow	C
Like dying things that keep their holes for woe	C
And memory's withering tendrils clasp with effort vain	U
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Thou then as now no less wilt be my life	J2
And I shall know it better than before	B2
Praying and trusting hoping claiming more	B2
From effort vain sick foil and bootless strife	J2
I shall with childness fresh look up to thee	R
Thou seeing thy child with age encumbered sore	B2
Wilt round him bend thine arm more carefully	R
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And when grim Death doth take me by the throat	N
Thou wilt have pity on thy handiwork	K2
Thou wilt not let him on my suffering gloat	N
But draw my soul out gladder than man or boy	L2
When thy saved creatures from the narrow ark	M2
Rushed out and leaped and laughed and cried for joy	L2
And the great rainbow strode across the dark	M2
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Against my fears my doubts my ignorance	N2
I trust in thee O father of my Lord	N
The world went on in this same broken dance	O2
When worn and mocked he trusted and adored	N
I too will trust and gather my poor best	N
To face the truth faced false So in his nest	N
I shall awake at length a little scarred and scored	N
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Things cannot look all right so long as I	J
Am not all right who see therefore not right	N
Can see The lamp within sends out the light	N
Which shows the things and if its rays go wry	J
Or are not white they must part show a lie	J
The man half cured did men not trees conclude	N
Because he moving saw what else had seemed a wood	N
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Give me take from me as thou wilt I learn	U
Slowly and stubbornly I learn to yield	N
With a strange hopefulness As from the field	N
Of hard fought battle won the victor chief	P2
Turns thankfully although his heart do yearn	U
So from my old things to thy new I turn	U
With sad thee trusting heart and not in grief	P2
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If with my father I did wander free	R
Floating o'er hill and field where'er we would	N
And lighting on the sward before the door	B2
Strange faces through the window panes should see	R
And strange feet standing where the loved had stood	N
The dear old place theirs all as ours before	B2
Should I be sorrowful father having thee	R
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So Lord if thou tak'st from me all the rest	N
Thyself with each resumption drawing nigher	B2
It shall but hurt me as the thorn of the briar	B2
When I reach to the pale flower in its breast	N
To have thee Lord is to have all thy best	N
Holding it by its very life divine	U
To let my friend's hand go and take his heart in mine	U
	-
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Take from me leisure all familiar places	Q2
Take all the lovely things of earth and air	B2
Take from me books take all my precious faces	Q2
Take words melodious and their songful linking	R2
Take scents and sounds and all thy outsides fair	B2
Draw nearer taking and to my sober thinking	R2
Thou bring'st them nearer all and ready to my prayer	B2
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No place on earth henceforth I shall count strange	S2
For every place belongeth to my Christ	N
I will go calm where'er thou bid'st me range	S2
Whoe'er my neighbour thou art still my nighest	N
Oh my heart's life my owner will of my being	R2
Into my soul thou every moment diest	N
In thee my life thus evermore decreeing	R2
	-
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What though things change and pass nor come again	U
Thou the life heart of all things changest never	B2
The sun shines on the fair clouds turn to rain	U
And glad the earth with many a spring and river	B2
The hearts that answer change with chill and shiver	B2
That mourn the past sad sick with hopeless pain	U
They know not thee our changeless heart and brain	U
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My halting words will some day turn to song	R2
Some far off day in holy other times	T2
The melody now prisoned in my rimes	T2
Will one day break aloft and from the throng	R2
Of wrestling thoughts and words spring up the air	B2
As from the flower its colour's sweet despair	B2
Issues in odour and the sky's low levels climbs	T2
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My surgent thought shoots lark like up to thee	R
Thou like the heaven art all about the lark	R2
Whatever I surmise or know in me	R
Idea or but symbol on the dark	R2
Is living working thought creating power	B2
In thee the timeless father of the hour	B2
I am thy book thy song thy child would be	R