The Diary Of An Old Soul: 01 ' January. Poem Rhyme Scheme

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George Macdonald

The Diary Of An Old Soul: 01 ' January. Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

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	A
	-
Lord what I once had done with youthful might	B
Had I been from the first true to the truth	C
Grant me now old to do with better sight	B
And humbler heart if not the brain of youth	C
So wilt thou in thy gentleness and ruth	C
Lead back thy old soul by the path of pain	D
Round to his best young eyes and heart and brain	D
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A dim aurora rises in my east	E
Beyond the line of jagged questions hoar	F
As if the head of our intombed High Priest	E
Began to glow behind the unopened door	F
Sure the gold wings will soon rise from the gray	G
They rise not Up I rise press on the more	F
To meet the slow coming of the Master's day	G
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Sometimes I wake and lo I have forgot	H
And drifted out upon an ebbing sea	I
My soul that was at rest now resteth not	H
For I am with myself and not with thee	I
Truth seems a blind moon in a glaring morn	J
Where nothing is but sick heart vanity	I
Oh thou who knowest save thy child forlorn	J
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Death like high faith levelling lifteth all	K
When I awake my daughter and my son	L
Grown sister and brother in my arms shall fall	K
Tenfold my girl and boy Sure every one	L
Of all the brood to the old wings will run	L
Whole hearted is my worship of the man	M
From whom my earthly history began	M
	-
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Thy fishes breathe but where thy waters roll	N
Thy birds fly but within thy airy sea	I
My soul breathes only in thy infinite soul	N
I breathe I think I love I live but thee	I
Oh breathe oh think O Love live into me	I
Unworthy is my life till all divine	O
Till thou see in me only what is thine	O
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Then shall I breathe in sweetest sharing then	P
Think in harmonious consort with my kin	Q
Then shall I love well all my father's men	P
Feel one with theirs the life my heart within	Q
Oh brothers sisters holy hearts divine	O
Then I shall be all yours and nothing mine	O
To every human heart a mother twin	Q
	-
	-
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I see a child before an empty house	R
Knocking and knocking at the closed door	F
He wakes dull echoes but nor man nor mouse	R
If he stood knocking there for evermore	F
A mother angel see folding each wing	S
Soft walking crosses straight the empty floor	F
And opens to the obstinate praying thing	S
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Were there but some deep holy spell whereby	T
Always I should remember thee some mode	U
Of feeling the pure heat throb momently	N
Of the spirit fire still uttering this I	T
Lord see thou to it take thou remembrance' load	U
Only when I bethink me can I cry	T
Remember thou and prick me with love's goad	U
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If to myself God sometimes interferes	V
I said my faith at once would be struck blind	W
I see him all in all the lifing mind	W
Or nowhere in the vacant miles and years	V
A love he is that watches and that hears	X
Or but a mist fumed up from minds of men	P
Whose fear and hope reach out beyond their ken	P
	-
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When I no more can stir my soul to move	Y
And life is but the ashes of a fire	Z
When I can but remember that my heart	A2
Once used to live and love long and aspire	B2
Oh be thou then the first the one thou art	A2
Be thou the calling before all answering love	C2
And in me wake hope fear boundless desire	Z
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I thought that I had lost thee but behold	D2
Thou comest to me from the horizon low	N
Across the fields outspread of green and gold	D2
Fair carpet for thy feet to come and go	N
Whence I know not or how to me thou art come	E2
Not less my spirit with calm bliss doth glow	N
Meeting thee only thus in nature vague and dumb	E2
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	-
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Doubt swells and surges with swelling doubt behind	W
My soul in storm is but a tattered sail	N
Streaming its ribbons on the torrent gale	N
In calm 'tis but a limp and flapping thing	S
Oh swell it with thy breath make it a wing	S
To sweep through thee the ocean with thee the wind	W
Nor rest until in thee its haven it shall find	W
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The idle flapping of the sail is doubt	F2
Faith swells it full to breast the breasting seas	G2
Bold conscience fast and rule the ruling helm	H2
Hell's freezing north no tempest can send out	F2
But it shall toss thee homeward to thy leas	G2
Boisterous wave crest never shall o'erwhelm	H2
Thy sea float bark as safe as field borne rooted elm	H2
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Sometimes hard trying it seems I cannot pray	G
For doubt and pain and anger and all strife	I2
Yet some poor half fledged prayer bird from the nest	J2
May fall flit fly perch crouch in the bowery breast	J2
Of the large nation healing tree of life	I2
Moveless there sit through all the burning day	G
And on my heart at night a fresh leaf cooling lay	G
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My harvest withers Health my means to live	K2
All things seem rushing straight into the dark	L2
But the dark still is God I would not give	M2
The smallest silver piece to turn the rush	N2
Backward or sideways Am I not a spark	L2
Of him who is the light Fair hope doth flush	N2
My east Divine success Oh hush and hark	L2
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Thy will be done I yield up everything	S
The life is more than meat then more than health	O2
The body more than raiment then than wealth	O2
The hairs I made not thou art numbering	S
Thou art my life I the brook thou the spring	S
Because thine eyes are open I can see	I
Because thou art thyself 'tis therefore I am me	I
	-
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No sickness can come near to blast my health	O2
My life depends not upon any meat	P2
My bread comes not from any human tilth	Q2
No wings will grow upon my changeless wealth	O2
Wrong cannot touch it violence or deceit	P2
Thou art my life my health my bank my barn	R2
And from all other gods thou plain dost warn	J
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Care thou for mine whom I must leave behind	W
Care that they know who 'tis for them takes care	S2
Thy present patience help them still to bear	S2
Lord keep them clearing growing heart and mind	W
In one thy oneness us together bind	W
Last earthly prayer with which to thee I cling	S
Grant that save love we owe not anything	S
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'Tis well for unembodied thought a live	K2
True house to build of stubble wood nor hay	G
So like bees round the flower by which they thrive	K2
My thoughts are busy with the informing truth	C
And as I build I feed and grow in youth	C
Hoping to stand fresh clean and strong and gay	G
When up the east comes dawning His great day	G
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Thy will is truth 'tis therefore fate the strong	T2
Would that my will did sweep full swing with thine	O
Then harmony with every spheric song	T2
And conscious power would give sureness divine	O
Who thinks to thread thy great laws' onward throng	T2
Is as a fly that creeps his foolish way	G
Athwart an engine's wheels in smooth resistless play	G
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Thou in my heart hast planted gardener divine	O
A scion of the tree of life it grows	U2
But not in every wind or weather it blows	U2
The leaves fall sometimes from the baby tree	I
And the life power seems melting into pine	O
Yet still the sap keeps struggling to the shine	O
And the unseen root clings cramplike unto thee	I
	-
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Do thou my God my spirit's weather control	N
And as I do not gloom though the day be dun	L
Let me not gloom when earth born vapours roll	N
Across the infinite zenith of my soul	N
Should sudden brain frost through the heart's summer run	L
Cold weary joyless waste of air and sun	L
Thou art my south my summer wind my all my one	L
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O Life why dost thou close me up in death	V2
O Health why make me inhabit heaviness	U2
I ask yet know the sum of this distress	U2
Pang haunted body sore dismayed mind	W
Is but the egg that rounds the winged faith	W2
When that its path into the air shall find	W
My heart will follow high above cold rain and wind	W
	-
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I can no more than lift my weary eyes	U2
Therefore I lift my weary eyes no more	F
But my eyes pull my heart and that before	F
'Tis well awake knocks where the conscience lies	U2
Conscience runs quick to the spirit's hidden door	F
Straightway from every sky ward window cries	U2
Up to the Father's listening ears arise	U2
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Not in my fancy now I search to find thee	I
Not in its loftiest forms would shape or bind thee	I
I cry to one whom I can never know	N
Filling me with an infinite overflow	N
Not to a shape that dwells within my heart	A2
Clothed in perfections love and truth assigned thee	I
But to the God thou knowest that thou art	A2
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Not Lord because I have done well or ill	N
Not that my mind looks up to thee clear eyed	X2
Not that it struggles in fast cerements tied	X2
Not that I need thee daily sorer still	N
Not that I wretched wander from thy will	N
Not now for any cause to thee I cry	T
But this that thou art thou and here am I	T
	-
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Yestereve Death came and knocked at my thin door	F
I from my window looked the thing I saw	U2
The shape uncouth I had not seen before	F
I was disturbed with fear in sooth not awe	Y2
Whereof ashamed I instantly did rouse	U2
My will to seek thee only to fear the more	F
Alas I could not find thee in the house	U2
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I was like Peter when he began to sink	Z2
To thee a new prayer therefore I have got	H
That when Death comes in earnest to my door	F
Thou wouldst thyself go when the latch doth clink	Z2
And lead him to my room up to my cot	H
Then hold thy child's hand hold and leave him not	H
Till Death has done with him for evermore	F
	-
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Till Death has done with him Ah leave me then	P
And Death has done with me oh nevermore	F
He comes and goes to leave me in thy arms	U2
Nearer thy heart oh nearer than before	F
To lay thy child naked new born again	P
Of mother earth crept free through many harms	U2
Upon thy bosom still to the very core	F
	-
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Come to me Lord I will not speculate how	A3
Nor think at which door I would have thee appear	B3
Nor put off calling till my floors be swept	C3
But cry Come Lord come any way come now	A3
Doors windows I throw wide my head I bow	A3
And sit like some one who so long has slept	C3
That he knows nothing till his life draw near	B3
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O Lord I have been talking to the people	N
Thought's wheels have round me whirled a fiery zone	D3
And the recoil of my words' airy ripple	N
My heart unheedful has puffed up and blown	D3
Therefore I cast myself before thee prone	D3
Lay cool hands on my burning brain and press	U2
From my weak heart the swelling emptiness	U2