George Carlin
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Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
Quote by George Carlin
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George Carlin Quotes
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
Best Quotes
The new freedom of expression brought by the Internet goes far beyond politics. People relate to each other in new ways, posing questions about how we should respond to people when all that we know about them is what we have learned through a medium that permits all kinds of anonymity and deception.
As kids we're not taught how to deal with success we're taught how to deal with failure. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. If at first you succeed, then what?
Society exists for the benefit of its members, not the members for the benefit of society.
My humanitarian work evolved from being with my family. My mom, my dad, they really set a great example for giving back. My mom was a nurse, my dad was a school teacher. But my mom did a lot of things for geriatrics and elderly people. She would do home visits for free.
The unleashed power of the atom has changed everything save our modes of thinking and we thus drift toward unparalleled catastrophe.
Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it... that is the quickest and surest way ever yet discovered to conquer fear.
The freethinking of one age is the common sense of the next.
This world of ours... must avoid becoming a community of dreadful fear and hate, and be, instead, a proud confederation of mutual trust and respect.
We are not at peace with others because we are not at peace with ourselves, and we are not at peace with ourselves because we are not at peace with God.
The wisdom and experience of older people is a resource of inestimable worth. Recognizing and treasuring the contributions of older people is essential to the long-term flourishing of any society.
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