Will it matter if I’m furious now?
Will it make a difference and how?
Should I just be mad at myself for
not leaving sooner out the door?
I’m shrouded in self-doubt
Struggling to dig me out
Blaming myself for all the pain
In the process of breaking my brain
You caused it all:
The belief that I was wrong
And forgetting all along
That you were supposed to have my back
But I ended up putting up with all the slack
You abandoned me when I needed you the most.
An overreaction!
That’s what you called my father’s death
when he laid there breathing his final breath.
I needed you to hold me tight
But instead, you picked a fight.
I don’t deserve what I had to go through
I really had no clue
Being married to a narcissist broke me
Now only doubt and negativity can I see
as I try to make sense of it all.
I was strong to break the bond
of marriage
but beyond
that I have nothing…
I still feel I deserve the scraps
but perhaps…
I need to acknowledge you caused me pain
I need to acknowledge you rewired my brain
I need to acknowledge you made me question my sanity
And you made me lock away my humanity.
You are a terrible human being
Causing all the destruction everyone is seeing.
I might have been blind at the time
But I wiped off your slime.
You cut me over and over
The healing process will be slower
But I need to acknowledge the pain you made me feel
for me to deal.
You left scars that will show for a lifetime
I wish everyone knew about your crime
But I need to acknowledge that you had so much blame
That you should be the one shrouded in shame.
Is This The Road To Recovery?
Del Lize
(C) All Rights Reserved. Poem Submitted on 08/30/2021
(1)
Poem topics: away, breath, death, father, marriage, time, human, fight, sense, furious, question, strong, door, wrong, terrible, clue, blind, humanity, shame, hold, Print This Poem , Rhyme Scheme
<< Bipolar Cycling Poem
Next Poem
Write your comment about Is This The Road To Recovery? poem by Del Lize
Best Poems of Del Lize