The Philistine Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

Rhyme Scheme: ABABACAC DEDEFGHG IJIJKLKL LMLMNANA OBOBAMAM PQPQRSRS TUTUVWVW XYXYZZZZ VA2VA2B2DB2D ZC2ZC2ZD2ZE2 F2G2F2G2AH2AH2 IAIAHI2HI2 ZD2ZD2J2K2J2K2 L2AAAM2ZM2Z N2O2N2O2P2OP2O ZQ2ZQ2P2A A ZZZZK2AK2A

Smith is a very stupid manA
He lives next door to meB
He has no settled scheme or planA
Of domesticityB
He does not own a gramophoneA
Nor rush for morning trainsC
His garden paths are overgrownA
He seldom entertainsC
-
In all our staid suburban streetD
He strikes the one false noteE
He goes about in slippered feetD
And seldom wears a coatE
He shows no taste in furnitureF
He never goes to churchG
His ways our district prim and pureH
seem somehow to besmirchG
-
I don't know how he earns his breadI
'Tis said he paints or writesJ
And frequently I've heard it saidI
He works quite late at nightsJ
His servant told the girl we've gotK
He makes a lot of pelfL
It seems a pity he will notK
Strive to improve himselfL
-
She's quite a pretty girl his wifeL
Our women folk declareM
It is a shame she spoiled her lifeL
With such a perfect bearM
And yet she seems quite satisfiedN
With this peculiar manA
And says with rather foolish prideN
He is BohemianA
-
He has the crudest views aboutO
RespectabilityB
I've often heard him laugh and shoutO
On Sundays after teaB
While our select suburban clanA
Pass him the stony stareM
Smith is a very stupid manA
He doesn't seem to careM
-
He will not join our tennis clubP
Nor come to may'ral ballsQ
Nor meet the neighbours in a rubP
At bridge nor pay them callsQ
He just delights to scoff and sneerR
And feigns to be amusedS
At everything we hold most dearR
What wonder he's abusedS
-
Although he's ostracised a dealT
He never makes a fussU
I sometimes think he seems to feelT
He ostracises usU
But that of course is quite absurdV
And risking the disgraceW
I sometimes say a kindly wordV
When I pass by his placeW
-
But still although one likes to keepX
One's self a bit selectY
And not be so to speak too cheapX
I'm broad in that respectY
So oft on sultry summer evesZ
I waive all diffidenceZ
And chat across the wilted leavesZ
That garb our garden fenceZ
-
But oh his talk is so absurdV
His notions are so crudeA2
Such drivel I have seldom heardV
His mode of speech is rudeA2
He mentions 'stomach' in a barkB2
You'd hear across the streetD
He lacks those 'little ways' that markB2
A gentleman discreetD
-
And when I speak of great affairsZ
His mind becomes a blankC2
He shows no interest in the caresZ
Of folk of noble rankC2
And should we chat of politicsZ
He sneers at parliamentD2
And says the modern party tricksZ
Were by the Devil sentE2
-
It seems he has some foolish schemeF2
To right all social wrongG2
Some silly plan some idle dreamF2
To raise the fallen throngG2
It tell him if we change our planA
All enterprise must endH2
Smith is a very stupid manA
He does not comprehendH2
-
Good books as I have often saidI
He mentions with disdainA
Marie Corelli he's not readI
Garvice nor yet Hall CaineA
He talks of writers most obscureH
Like Virgil Carlyle KantI2
Whose works no scholar could endureH
His reading must be scantI2
-
In art he is a perfect dunceZ
That's plainly evidentD2
I recollect I showed him onceZ
A Christmas supplementD2
He asked me if it was a jokeJ2
Although the thing was grandK2
I knew the moment that he spokeJ2
Smith didn't understandK2
-
He lacks all soul for music tooL2
He hates the gramophoneA
And when we play some dance tune newA
I've often heard him groanA
He says our music gives him sadM2
Sad thoughts of slaughtered thingsZ
I think Smith is a little madM2
Nice thoughts to me it bringsZ
-
Now I have quite a kindly heartN2
Good works I do not stintO2
Last week I spoke to Smith apartN2
And dropped a gentle hintO2
He will be snubbed I told him flatP2
By neighbours round aboutO
Unless he wears a better hatP2
On Sundays when he's outO
-
Last Sunday morn he passed my placeZ
About the hour of fourQ2
A smile serence was on his faceZ
And on his head he woreQ2
The most dilapidated hatP2
That I have ever seenA
'This ought to keep 'em off the mat '-
He said What did he meanA
-
I wish that Smith was not so denseZ
He seems to have no viceZ
He's educated in a senseZ
And could become quite niceZ
Still there's a certain 'genteel' brandK2
That marks the cultured manA
Smith doesn't seem to understandK2
He's such a stupid manA

Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis



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