The Philistine Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis
Rhyme Scheme: ABABACAC DEDEFGHG IJIJKLKL LMLMNANA OBOBAMAM PQPQRSRS TUTUVWVW XYXYZZZZ VA2VA2B2DB2D ZC2ZC2ZD2ZE2 F2G2F2G2AH2AH2 IAIAHI2HI2 ZD2ZD2J2K2J2K2 L2AAAM2ZM2Z N2O2N2O2P2OP2O ZQ2ZQ2P2A A ZZZZK2AK2ASmith is a very stupid man | A |
He lives next door to me | B |
He has no settled scheme or plan | A |
Of domesticity | B |
He does not own a gramophone | A |
Nor rush for morning trains | C |
His garden paths are overgrown | A |
He seldom entertains | C |
- | |
In all our staid suburban street | D |
He strikes the one false note | E |
He goes about in slippered feet | D |
And seldom wears a coat | E |
He shows no taste in furniture | F |
He never goes to church | G |
His ways our district prim and pure | H |
seem somehow to besmirch | G |
- | |
I don't know how he earns his bread | I |
'Tis said he paints or writes | J |
And frequently I've heard it said | I |
He works quite late at nights | J |
His servant told the girl we've got | K |
He makes a lot of pelf | L |
It seems a pity he will not | K |
Strive to improve himself | L |
- | |
She's quite a pretty girl his wife | L |
Our women folk declare | M |
It is a shame she spoiled her life | L |
With such a perfect bear | M |
And yet she seems quite satisfied | N |
With this peculiar man | A |
And says with rather foolish pride | N |
He is Bohemian | A |
- | |
He has the crudest views about | O |
Respectability | B |
I've often heard him laugh and shout | O |
On Sundays after tea | B |
While our select suburban clan | A |
Pass him the stony stare | M |
Smith is a very stupid man | A |
He doesn't seem to care | M |
- | |
He will not join our tennis club | P |
Nor come to may'ral balls | Q |
Nor meet the neighbours in a rub | P |
At bridge nor pay them calls | Q |
He just delights to scoff and sneer | R |
And feigns to be amused | S |
At everything we hold most dear | R |
What wonder he's abused | S |
- | |
Although he's ostracised a deal | T |
He never makes a fuss | U |
I sometimes think he seems to feel | T |
He ostracises us | U |
But that of course is quite absurd | V |
And risking the disgrace | W |
I sometimes say a kindly word | V |
When I pass by his place | W |
- | |
But still although one likes to keep | X |
One's self a bit select | Y |
And not be so to speak too cheap | X |
I'm broad in that respect | Y |
So oft on sultry summer eves | Z |
I waive all diffidence | Z |
And chat across the wilted leaves | Z |
That garb our garden fence | Z |
- | |
But oh his talk is so absurd | V |
His notions are so crude | A2 |
Such drivel I have seldom heard | V |
His mode of speech is rude | A2 |
He mentions 'stomach' in a bark | B2 |
You'd hear across the street | D |
He lacks those 'little ways' that mark | B2 |
A gentleman discreet | D |
- | |
And when I speak of great affairs | Z |
His mind becomes a blank | C2 |
He shows no interest in the cares | Z |
Of folk of noble rank | C2 |
And should we chat of politics | Z |
He sneers at parliament | D2 |
And says the modern party tricks | Z |
Were by the Devil sent | E2 |
- | |
It seems he has some foolish scheme | F2 |
To right all social wrong | G2 |
Some silly plan some idle dream | F2 |
To raise the fallen throng | G2 |
It tell him if we change our plan | A |
All enterprise must end | H2 |
Smith is a very stupid man | A |
He does not comprehend | H2 |
- | |
Good books as I have often said | I |
He mentions with disdain | A |
Marie Corelli he's not read | I |
Garvice nor yet Hall Caine | A |
He talks of writers most obscure | H |
Like Virgil Carlyle Kant | I2 |
Whose works no scholar could endure | H |
His reading must be scant | I2 |
- | |
In art he is a perfect dunce | Z |
That's plainly evident | D2 |
I recollect I showed him once | Z |
A Christmas supplement | D2 |
He asked me if it was a joke | J2 |
Although the thing was grand | K2 |
I knew the moment that he spoke | J2 |
Smith didn't understand | K2 |
- | |
He lacks all soul for music too | L2 |
He hates the gramophone | A |
And when we play some dance tune new | A |
I've often heard him groan | A |
He says our music gives him sad | M2 |
Sad thoughts of slaughtered things | Z |
I think Smith is a little mad | M2 |
Nice thoughts to me it brings | Z |
- | |
Now I have quite a kindly heart | N2 |
Good works I do not stint | O2 |
Last week I spoke to Smith apart | N2 |
And dropped a gentle hint | O2 |
He will be snubbed I told him flat | P2 |
By neighbours round about | O |
Unless he wears a better hat | P2 |
On Sundays when he's out | O |
- | |
Last Sunday morn he passed my place | Z |
About the hour of four | Q2 |
A smile serence was on his face | Z |
And on his head he wore | Q2 |
The most dilapidated hat | P2 |
That I have ever seen | A |
'This ought to keep 'em off the mat ' | - |
He said What did he mean | A |
- | |
I wish that Smith was not so dense | Z |
He seems to have no vice | Z |
He's educated in a sense | Z |
And could become quite nice | Z |
Still there's a certain 'genteel' brand | K2 |
That marks the cultured man | A |
Smith doesn't seem to understand | K2 |
He's such a stupid man | A |
Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
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