The Two Majors Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis
Rhyme Scheme: ABAB CDCD EFEE GHGI JEJE KLKL MNMN OPOP QNQN ENEN NLNL ENEN ERER MNMN ERER SLSL TNTN ENEN NENE NUNN VWVW| An excellent soldier who's worthy the name | A |
| Loves officers dashing and strict | B |
| When good he's content with escaping all blame | A |
| When naughty he likes to be licked | B |
| - | |
| He likes for a fault to be bullied and stormed | C |
| Or imprisoned for several days | D |
| And hates for a duty correctly performed | C |
| To be slavered with sickening praise | D |
| - | |
| No officer sickened with praises his CORPS | E |
| So little as MAJOR LA GUERRE | F |
| No officer swore at his warriors more | E |
| Than MAJOR MAKREDI PREPERE | E |
| - | |
| Their soldiers adored them and every grade | G |
| Delighted to hear their abuse | H |
| Though whenever these officers came on parade | G |
| They shivered and shook in their shoes | I |
| - | |
| For oh if LA GUERRE could all praises withhold | J |
| Why so could MAKREDI PREPERE | E |
| And oh if MAKREDI could bluster and scold | J |
| Why so could the mighty LA GUERRE | E |
| - | |
| No doubt we deserve it no mercy we crave | K |
| Go on you're conferring a boon | L |
| We would rather be slanged by a warrior brave | K |
| Than praised by a wretched poltroon | L |
| - | |
| MAKREDI would say that in battle's fierce rage | M |
| True happiness only was met | N |
| Poor MAJOR MAKREDI though fifty his age | M |
| Had never known happiness yet | N |
| - | |
| LA GUERRE would declare With the blood of a foe | O |
| No tipple is worthy to clink | P |
| Poor fellow he hadn't though sixty or so | O |
| Yet tasted his favourite drink | P |
| - | |
| They agreed at their mess they agreed in the glass | Q |
| They agreed in the choice of their set | N |
| And they also agreed in adoring alas | Q |
| The Vivandiere pretty FILLETTE | N |
| - | |
| Agreement you see may be carried too far | E |
| And after agreeing all round | N |
| For years in this soldierly maid of the bar | E |
| A bone of contention they found | N |
| - | |
| It may seem improper to call such a pet | N |
| By a metaphor even a bone | L |
| But though they agreed in adoring her yet | N |
| Each wanted to make her his own | L |
| - | |
| On the day that you marry her muttered PREPERE | E |
| With a pistol he quietly played | N |
| I'll scatter the brains in your noddle I swear | E |
| All over the stony parade | N |
| - | |
| I cannot do THAT to you answered LA GUERRE | E |
| Whatever events may befall | R |
| But this I CAN do IF YOU wed her MON CHER | E |
| I'll eat you moustachios and all | R |
| - | |
| The rivals although they would never engage | M |
| Yet quarrelled whenever they met | N |
| They met in a fury and left in a rage | M |
| But neither took pretty FILLETTE | N |
| - | |
| I am not afraid thought MAKREDI PREPERE | E |
| For country I'm ready to fall | R |
| But nobody wants for a mere Vivandiere | E |
| To be eaten moustachios and all | R |
| - | |
| Besides though LA GUERRE has his faults I'll allow | S |
| He's one of the bravest of men | L |
| My goodness if I disagree with him now | S |
| I might disagree with him then | L |
| - | |
| No coward am I said LA GUERRE as you guess | T |
| I sneer at an enemy's blade | N |
| But I don't want PREPERE to get into a mess | T |
| For splashing the stony parade | N |
| - | |
| One day on parade to PREPERE and LA GUERRE | E |
| Came CORPORAL JACOT DEBETTE | N |
| And trembling all over he prayed of them there | E |
| To give him the pretty FILLETTE | N |
| - | |
| You see I am willing to marry my bride | N |
| Until you've arranged this affair | E |
| I will blow out my brains when your honours decide | N |
| Which marries the sweet Vivandiere | E |
| - | |
| Well take her ' said both of them in a duet | N |
| A favourite form of reply | U |
| But when I am ready to marry FILLETTE | N |
| Remember you've promised to die | N |
| - | |
| He married her then from the flowery plains | V |
| Of existence the roses they cull | W |
| He lived and he died with his wife and his brains | V |
| Are reposing in peace in his skull | W |
William Schwenck Gilbert
(1)
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