The Phantom Curate Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis
Rhyme Scheme: ABABAA CDCEFF GAGAAA HIHIAA GJGJKK LMLMAA AJAJKK NKNKAA AKAKAA AOAOII| A bishop once I will not name him see | A |
| Annoyed his clergy in the mode conventional | B |
| From pulpit shackles never set them free | A |
| And found a sin where sin was unintentional | B |
| All pleasures ended in abuse auricular | A |
| The Bishop was so terribly particular | A |
| - | |
| Though on the whole a wise and upright man | C |
| He sought to make of human pleasures clearances | D |
| And form his priests on that much lauded plan | C |
| Which pays undue attention to appearances | E |
| He couldn't do good deeds without a psalm in 'em | F |
| Although in truth he bore away the palm in 'em | F |
| - | |
| Enraged to find a deacon at a dance | G |
| Or catch a curate at some mild frivolity | A |
| He sought by open censure to enhance | G |
| Their dread of joining harmless social jollity | A |
| Yet he enjoyed a fact of notoriety | A |
| The ordinary pleasures of society | A |
| - | |
| One evening sitting at a pantomime | H |
| Forbidden treat to those who stood in fear of him | I |
| Roaring at jokes SANS metre sense or rhyme | H |
| He turned and saw immediately in rear of him | I |
| His peace of mind upsetting and annoying it | A |
| A curate also heartily enjoying it | A |
| - | |
| Again 't was Christmas Eve and to enhance | G |
| His children's pleasure in their harmless rollicking | J |
| He like a good old fellow stood to dance | G |
| When something checked the current of his frolicking | J |
| That curate with a maid he treated lover ly | K |
| Stood up and figured with him in the Coverley | K |
| - | |
| Once yielding to an universal choice | L |
| The company's demand was an emphatic one | M |
| For the old Bishop had a glorious voice | L |
| In a quartet he joined an operatic one | M |
| Harmless enough though ne'er a word of grace in it | A |
| When lo that curate came and took the bass in it | A |
| - | |
| One day when passing through a quiet street | A |
| He stopped awhile and joined a Punch's gathering | J |
| And chuckled more than solemn folk think meet | A |
| To see that gentleman his Judy lathering | J |
| And heard as Punch was being treated penally | K |
| That phantom curate laughing all hyaenally | K |
| - | |
| Now at a picnic 'mid fair golden curls | N |
| Bright eyes straw hats BOTTINES that fit amazingly | K |
| A croquet bout is planned by all the girls | N |
| And he consenting speaks of croquet praisingly | K |
| But suddenly declines to play at all in it | A |
| The curate fiend has come to take a ball in it | A |
| - | |
| Next when at quiet sea side village freed | A |
| From cares episcopal and ties monarchical | K |
| He grows his beard and smokes his fragrant weed | A |
| In manner anything but hierarchical | K |
| He sees and fixes an unearthly stare on it | A |
| That curate's face with half a yard of hair on it | A |
| - | |
| At length he gave a charge and spake this word | A |
| Vicars your curates to enjoyment urge ye may | O |
| To check their harmless pleasuring's absurd | A |
| What laymen do without reproach my clergy may | O |
| He spake and lo at this concluding word of him | I |
| The curate vanished no one since has heard of him | I |
William Schwenck Gilbert
(1)
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