To The Private Member Poem Rhyme Scheme

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My dear Sir	A
You may think it unkind of me	B
To interrupt the peaceful calm of your holiday	C
With a poem about business	D
But I assure you my dear sir	A
That I do so with the very best intentions	E
And at the call of what I consider to be duty	B
Duty as you know is a tremendous abstraction	F
And brings a man into all sorts of difficult corners	G
It was duty that took you into Parliament	H
Similarly it is duty that constrains me to Odes	I
When a man sees another man and pities him	J
It is the duty of the first man to let the other man know about it	K
Delicately	B
I pity you my dear Mr Private Member	A
From the bottom of a bottomless heart	L
Many a time and oft in the course of my rambles	I
Through the lobbies and liquor bars of St Stephens	I
It has been my ineffable portion to run across you	M
Silk hat frock coat baggy trousers patient stare bored expression	F
Suddenly you smile	N
And crook the pregnant hinges of the back of your neck	O
Mrs Wiggle the three Misses Wiggle and little Master Wiggle	P
Wife daughters and son of Mr Forthree Wiggle	P
Draper and burgess of the good old Parliamentary Division	F
Of Mudsher West	Q
Are up from Mudsher West	Q
And they want showin' round the 'Ouse you know	R
Round you go	R
Again you appear in the Strangers' Lobby	B
Spectacles on nose somebody's card in hand	S
The policeman roars out name of leading constituent	H
Leading constituent departed in a huff twenty minutes ago	R
Because he thought you were not attending to him	J
There being no answer	A
Policeman roars out name of leading constituent once more	T
Name echoes along Lords' Lobby	B
But not being there leading constituent fails to come forward	U
You look embarrassed turn tail retire to your back bench	V
And feel deucedly uncomfortable for the rest of the evening	W
You would like to get away to the theatre	A
But you dare not do it	K
There are Whips about	X
You would like to go home to bed	Y
You must wait the good pleasure of the course of the debate	Z
You would like to stand on your hind legs	I
And address the House on large matters	I
But you know in your heart	L
That the House will stand absolutely nothing from you	M
Bar a question or so	R
You sit and sit and sit through dull debate after dull debate	Z
And you sigh for the hustings and the brass bands	I
And the banquets and the He's a jolly good fellow s	I
And wonder how it comes to pass	I
That you who were once set down in the Mudsher Mercury	B
For a blend of Demosthenes and John Bright	A2
Can never get more than twenty words off the end of your tongue	B2
After Mr Speaker Sir	A
Oh my dear Mr Private Member	A
Your case is indeed a sad one	F
And it is all the sadder when one comes to reflect	C2
That as a general rule you are a sincereish sort of man	D2
Burning and bursting with a desire	A
To do your poor suffering country	B
A bit of good	E2
You know that the men who have the ear of the House	I
Are mere talkers	I
That they are only playing the party game	F2
And that the country may go to pot for anything they care	G2
And yet they make their speeches	I
And get them reported at length in the papers	I
And are given places in the Cabinet	H2
And go for dines and sleeps with the King	W
What time you grow old and grey and obese and bleary eyed	I2
And never get the smallest show	R
I pity you my dear Mr Private Member I do really	B
But for your comfort I may tell you	M
That all you lack	J2
Is courage	K2
And brains	I

Thomas William Hodgson Crosland

To The Private Member Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

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