To An Hotel Keeper Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

Rhyme Scheme: ABCDBEFGHHFCIJAKCIJL HDICIHHMINHAANODPDDQ RAHIHHHSHQHHTCIBMHDU VIILADIEIICWHXAWHIHY ZIA2B2C2SSIND2E2HE2H ME2CIIQF2IG2H2E2IE2S E2SAI2HIJ2E2G2IIE2H

My dear SirA
Oft in the stilly nightB
My thoughts flyC
In your directionD
For oft in the stilly nightB
It is my unfortunate habitE
To have uncomfortable dreamsF
And the worst of themG
Runs to bankruptcyH
I have a horror of bankruptcyH
At any rate in my dreamsF
I sometimes lieC
Between the blanketsI
In a cold sweatJ
And for public examination as it wereA
And the presiding genius of the courtK
Says to me sepulchrallyC
To what do you attribute your financial rottennessI
I fall into a colder sweatJ
And remarkL
With a humilityH
Which becomes my unfortunate positionD
Sir if you pleaseI
I have been living at an hotelC
At this juncture of courseI
I come in for every sympathyH
The Court is with meH
The Court has been there itselfM
There is not a dry eye about the placeI
Every man present knows what I meanN
And his heart is touched accordinglyH
SirA
My dear SirA
You also know what I meanN
In other words you knowO
That I am the victim of a conventionD
And that when all is said that can be saidP
You are the author of that conventionD
As to the nature of that conventionD
We will put it this wayQ
One pound of steakR
To the actual consumerA
Should cost say s dH
TrimmingsI
In the way of potatoes and peas might cost say dH
Bread dH
Pepper salt and mustard dH
You will notice that I put a princely price on everythingS
Total s dH
Fifty per cent profit for you let us sayQ
Would bring us up to s dH
Really you ought to let one off for s dH
But what do you doT
WellC
So far as I can gather from your billsI
You lie awake at nightB
Debating with yourselfM
Whether you should charge one s d or s dH
And you usually come to the conclusionD
That it will be bestU
For all parties concernedV
To charge one sI
If one expostulatesI
You remarkL
With hauteurA
That you thought you were dealing with a gentlemanD
You are quite correct in this surmiseI
ButE
One paysI
And you pocket the differenceI
Then again on one's billC
You putW
Bed s dH
Which is cheapX
And I do not murmurA
But you also putW
Attendance s dH
Coffee in bedroom before rising sI
Bath s dH
This is just s too muchY
Especially in view of the factZ
That the attendance wears dirty shirtsI
That the bathA2
Is lukewarm if you order it coldB2
And lukewarm if you order it hotC2
And that the coffee before risingS
Doesn't cost you a farthingS
I am aware of courseI
That all this is very meanN
And low downD2
On my partE2
But franklyH
Your rapacityE2
Matters not so much to meH
As to yourselfM
People come once to your establishmentE2
They read your billC
Pay your pricesI
And tip your dirty shirted waitersI
And go awayQ
And forget to come backF2
HenceI
You are bound to chargeG2
The next man that comes alongH2
As much extra as he will standE2
And by slow degreesI
Your establishmentE2
Is becomingS
A by wordE2
And a warningS
My dear SirA
Have a shilling bottle of wineI2
For which you charge me s dH
At your own expenseI
Consult with your wifeJ2
And make up your mindE2
Never to chargeG2
More than sI
For d worth of goodsI
Honesty is its own rewardE2
It is reallyH

Thomas William Hodgson Crosland



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