To An Hotel Keeper Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis
Rhyme Scheme: ABCDBEFGHHFCIJAKCIJL HDICIHHMINHAANODPDDQ RAHIHHHSHQHHTCIBMHDU VIILADIEIICWHXAWHIHY ZIA2B2C2SSIND2E2HE2H ME2CIIQF2IG2H2E2IE2S E2SAI2HIJ2E2G2IIE2HMy dear Sir | A |
Oft in the stilly night | B |
My thoughts fly | C |
In your direction | D |
For oft in the stilly night | B |
It is my unfortunate habit | E |
To have uncomfortable dreams | F |
And the worst of them | G |
Runs to bankruptcy | H |
I have a horror of bankruptcy | H |
At any rate in my dreams | F |
I sometimes lie | C |
Between the blankets | I |
In a cold sweat | J |
And for public examination as it were | A |
And the presiding genius of the court | K |
Says to me sepulchrally | C |
To what do you attribute your financial rottenness | I |
I fall into a colder sweat | J |
And remark | L |
With a humility | H |
Which becomes my unfortunate position | D |
Sir if you please | I |
I have been living at an hotel | C |
At this juncture of course | I |
I come in for every sympathy | H |
The Court is with me | H |
The Court has been there itself | M |
There is not a dry eye about the place | I |
Every man present knows what I mean | N |
And his heart is touched accordingly | H |
Sir | A |
My dear Sir | A |
You also know what I mean | N |
In other words you know | O |
That I am the victim of a convention | D |
And that when all is said that can be said | P |
You are the author of that convention | D |
As to the nature of that convention | D |
We will put it this way | Q |
One pound of steak | R |
To the actual consumer | A |
Should cost say s d | H |
Trimmings | I |
In the way of potatoes and peas might cost say d | H |
Bread d | H |
Pepper salt and mustard d | H |
You will notice that I put a princely price on everything | S |
Total s d | H |
Fifty per cent profit for you let us say | Q |
Would bring us up to s d | H |
Really you ought to let one off for s d | H |
But what do you do | T |
Well | C |
So far as I can gather from your bills | I |
You lie awake at night | B |
Debating with yourself | M |
Whether you should charge one s d or s d | H |
And you usually come to the conclusion | D |
That it will be best | U |
For all parties concerned | V |
To charge one s | I |
If one expostulates | I |
You remark | L |
With hauteur | A |
That you thought you were dealing with a gentleman | D |
You are quite correct in this surmise | I |
But | E |
One pays | I |
And you pocket the difference | I |
Then again on one's bill | C |
You put | W |
Bed s d | H |
Which is cheap | X |
And I do not murmur | A |
But you also put | W |
Attendance s d | H |
Coffee in bedroom before rising s | I |
Bath s d | H |
This is just s too much | Y |
Especially in view of the fact | Z |
That the attendance wears dirty shirts | I |
That the bath | A2 |
Is lukewarm if you order it cold | B2 |
And lukewarm if you order it hot | C2 |
And that the coffee before rising | S |
Doesn't cost you a farthing | S |
I am aware of course | I |
That all this is very mean | N |
And low down | D2 |
On my part | E2 |
But frankly | H |
Your rapacity | E2 |
Matters not so much to me | H |
As to yourself | M |
People come once to your establishment | E2 |
They read your bill | C |
Pay your prices | I |
And tip your dirty shirted waiters | I |
And go away | Q |
And forget to come back | F2 |
Hence | I |
You are bound to charge | G2 |
The next man that comes along | H2 |
As much extra as he will stand | E2 |
And by slow degrees | I |
Your establishment | E2 |
Is becoming | S |
A by word | E2 |
And a warning | S |
My dear Sir | A |
Have a shilling bottle of wine | I2 |
For which you charge me s d | H |
At your own expense | I |
Consult with your wife | J2 |
And make up your mind | E2 |
Never to charge | G2 |
More than s | I |
For d worth of goods | I |
Honesty is its own reward | E2 |
It is really | H |
Thomas William Hodgson Crosland
(1)
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