To An Hotel Keeper Poem Rhyme Scheme

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My dear Sir	A
Oft in the stilly night	B
My thoughts fly	C
In your direction	D
For oft in the stilly night	B
It is my unfortunate habit	E
To have uncomfortable dreams	F
And the worst of them	G
Runs to bankruptcy	H
I have a horror of bankruptcy	H
At any rate in my dreams	F
I sometimes lie	C
Between the blankets	I
In a cold sweat	J
And for public examination as it were	A
And the presiding genius of the court	K
Says to me sepulchrally	C
To what do you attribute your financial rottenness	I
I fall into a colder sweat	J
And remark	L
With a humility	H
Which becomes my unfortunate position	D
Sir if you please	I
I have been living at an hotel	C
At this juncture of course	I
I come in for every sympathy	H
The Court is with me	H
The Court has been there itself	M
There is not a dry eye about the place	I
Every man present knows what I mean	N
And his heart is touched accordingly	H
Sir	A
My dear Sir	A
You also know what I mean	N
In other words you know	O
That I am the victim of a convention	D
And that when all is said that can be said	P
You are the author of that convention	D
As to the nature of that convention	D
We will put it this way	Q
One pound of steak	R
To the actual consumer	A
Should cost say s d	H
Trimmings	I
In the way of potatoes and peas might cost say d	H
Bread d	H
Pepper salt and mustard d	H
You will notice that I put a princely price on everything	S
Total s d	H
Fifty per cent profit for you let us say	Q
Would bring us up to s d	H
Really you ought to let one off for s d	H
But what do you do	T
Well	C
So far as I can gather from your bills	I
You lie awake at night	B
Debating with yourself	M
Whether you should charge one s d or s d	H
And you usually come to the conclusion	D
That it will be best	U
For all parties concerned	V
To charge one s	I
If one expostulates	I
You remark	L
With hauteur	A
That you thought you were dealing with a gentleman	D
You are quite correct in this surmise	I
But	E
One pays	I
And you pocket the difference	I
Then again on one's bill	C
You put	W
Bed s d	H
Which is cheap	X
And I do not murmur	A
But you also put	W
Attendance s d	H
Coffee in bedroom before rising s	I
Bath s d	H
This is just s too much	Y
Especially in view of the fact	Z
That the attendance wears dirty shirts	I
That the bath	A2
Is lukewarm if you order it cold	B2
And lukewarm if you order it hot	C2
And that the coffee before rising	S
Doesn't cost you a farthing	S
I am aware of course	I
That all this is very mean	N
And low down	D2
On my part	E2
But frankly	H
Your rapacity	E2
Matters not so much to me	H
As to yourself	M
People come once to your establishment	E2
They read your bill	C
Pay your prices	I
And tip your dirty shirted waiters	I
And go away	Q
And forget to come back	F2
Hence	I
You are bound to charge	G2
The next man that comes along	H2
As much extra as he will stand	E2
And by slow degrees	I
Your establishment	E2
Is becoming	S
A by word	E2
And a warning	S
My dear Sir	A
Have a shilling bottle of wine	I2
For which you charge me s d	H
At your own expense	I
Consult with your wife	J2
And make up your mind	E2
Never to charge	G2
More than s	I
For d worth of goods	I
Honesty is its own reward	E2
It is really	H

Thomas William Hodgson Crosland

To An Hotel Keeper Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

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