The Fudges In England. Letter Ix. From Larry O'branigan, To His Wife Judy Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis
Rhyme Scheme: ABABCC DDEEFFEE GGGC CCCCHIGGCCEECCEEAA JKGGLLLAAEECCC GGGMMNNCCEEEE GGGGMMAA GGCCCCAAAAAAAAAIIAAG GGG IIAAAAGGGAAAAAA AAAALL A GGAAAAIIAs it was but last week that I sint you a letther | A |
You'll wondher dear Judy what this is about | B |
And throth it's a letther myself would like betther | A |
Could I manage to lave the contints of it out | B |
For sure if it makes even me onaisy | C |
Who takes things quiet 'twill dhrive you crazy | C |
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Oh Judy that riverind Murthagh bad scran to him | D |
That e'er I should come to've been sarvant man to him | D |
Or so far demane the O'Branigan blood | E |
And my Aunts the Diluvians whom not even the Flood | E |
Was able to wash away clane from the earth | F |
As to sarve one whose name of mere yestherday's birth | F |
Can no more to a great O before it purtend | E |
Than mine can to wear a great Q at its end | E |
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But that's now all over last night I gev warnin ' | - |
And masth'r as he is will discharge him this mornin' | G |
The thief of the world but it's no use balraggin' | G |
All I know is I'd fifty times rather be draggin' | G |
Ould ladies up hill to the ind of my days | C |
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Than with Murthagh to rowl in a chaise at my aise | C |
And be forced to discind thro' the same dirty ways | C |
Arrah sure if I'd heerd where he last showed his phiz | C |
I'd have known what a quare sort of monsthsr he is | C |
For by gor 'twas at Exether Change sure enough | H |
That himself and his other wild Irish showed off | I |
And it's pity so 'tis that they hadn't got no man | G |
Who knew the wild crathurs to act as their showman | G |
Sayin' Ladies and Gintlemen plaze to take notice | C |
How shlim and how shleek this black animal's coat is | C |
All by raison we're towld that the natur o' the baste | E |
Is to change its coat once in its lifetime at laste | E |
And such objiks in our counthry not bein' common ones | C |
Are bought up as this was by way of Fine Nomenons | C |
In regard of its name why in throth I'm consarned | E |
To differ on this point so much with the Larned | E |
Who call it a 'Morthimer ' whereas the craythur | A |
Is plainly a 'Murthagh ' by name and by nathur | A |
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This is how I'd have towld them the righst of it all | J |
Had I been their showman at Exether Hail | K |
Not forgettin' that other great wondher of Airin | G |
Of the owld bitther breed which they call Prosbetairin | G |
The famed Daddy Coke who by gor I'd have shown 'em | L |
As proof how such bastes may be tamed when you've thrown 'em | L |
A good frindly sop of the rale Raigin Donem | L |
But throth I've no laisure just now Judy dear | A |
For anything barrin' our own doings here | A |
And the cursin' and dammin' and thund'rin like mad | E |
We Papists God help us from Murthagh have had | E |
He says we're all murtherers divil a bit less | C |
And that even our priests when we go to confess | C |
Give us lessons in murthering and wish us success | C |
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When axed how he daared by tongue or by pen | G |
To belie in this way seven millions of men | G |
Faith he said'twas all towld him by Docthor Den | G |
And who the divil's he was the question that flew | M |
From Chrishtian to Chrishtian but not a sowl knew | M |
While on went Murthagh in iligant style | N |
Blasphaming us Cath'lics all the while | N |
As a pack of desaivers parjurers villains | C |
All the whole kit of the aforesaid millions | C |
Yourself dear Judy as well as the rest | E |
And the innocent craythur that's at your breast | E |
All rogues together in word and deed | E |
Owld Den our insthructor and Sin our creed | E |
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When axed for his proofs again and again | G |
Divil an answer he'd give but Docthor Den | G |
Couldn'the call into coort some livin' men | G |
No thank you he'd stick to Docthor Den | G |
An ould gintleman dead a century or two | M |
Who all about us live Catholics knew | M |
And of coorse was more handy to call in a hurry | A |
Than Docthor MacHale or Docthor Murray | A |
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But throth it's no case to be jokin' upon | G |
Tho' myself from bad habits is makin' it one | G |
Even you had you witnessed his grand climactherics | C |
Which actially threw one owld maid in hysterics | C |
Or och had you heerd such a purty remark as his | C |
That Papists are only Humanity's carcasses | C |
Risen but by dad I'm afeared I can't give it ye | A |
Risen from the sepulchre of inactivity | A |
And like owld corpses dug up from antikity | A |
Wandrin' about in all sorts of inikity | A |
Even you Judy true as you are to the Owld Light | A |
Would have laught out and out at this iligant flight | A |
Of that figure of speech called the Blatherumskite | A |
As for me tho' a funny thought now and then came to me | A |
Rage got the betther at last and small blame to me | A |
So slapping my thigh by the Powers of Delf | I |
Says I bowldly I'll make a noration myself | I |
And with that up I jumps but my darlint the minit | A |
I cockt up my head divil a sinse remained in it | A |
Tho' saited I could have got beautiful on | G |
When I tuk to my legs faith the gab was all gone | G |
Which was odd for us Pats who whate'er we've a hand in | G |
At laste in our legs show a sthrong understandin' | G |
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Howsumdever detarmined the chaps should pursaive | I |
What I thought of their doin's before I tuk lave | I |
In regard of all that says I there I stopt short | A |
Not a word more would come tho' I shtruggled hard for't | A |
So shnapping my fingers at what's called the Chair | A |
And the owld Lord or Lady I believe that sat there | A |
In regard of all that says I bowldly again | G |
To owld Nick I pitch Mortimer and Docthor Den | G |
Upon which the whole company cried out Amen | G |
And myself was in hopes 'twas to what I had said | A |
But by gor no such thing they were not so well bred | A |
For 'twas all to a prayer Murthagh just had read out | A |
By way of fit finish to job so devout | A |
That is afther well damning one half the community | A |
To pray God to keep all in pace an' in unity | A |
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This is all I can shtuff in this letter tho' plinty | A |
Of news faith I've got to fill more if 'twas twinty | A |
But I'll add on the outside a line should I need it | A |
Writin' Private upon it that no one may read it | A |
To tell you how Mortimer as the Saints chrishten him | L |
Bears the big shame of his sarvant's dismisshin' him | L |
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Private outside | A |
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Just come from his riv'rence the job is all done | G |
By the powers I've discharged him as sure as a gun | G |
And now Judy dear what on earth I'm to do | A |
With myself and my appetite both good as new | A |
Without even a single traneen in my pocket | A |
Let alone a good dacent pound starlin' to stock it | A |
Is a mysht'ry I lave to the One that's above | I |
Who takes care of us dissolute sawls when hard dhrove | I |
Thomas Moore
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