The Fudges In England. Letter Iv. From Patrick Magan, Esq., To The Rev. Richard ---- Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis
Rhyme Scheme: ABCDDC EEDDDDDDFGFGHHAAIJIK HHLLMMMMM DDNOOOP QQRDMDSTGGHHDUDUDDMM BBPPVV DDHHVVVVDD WVWVDDDDDDXQXQ VVBBBBVVDDDDDDDDDDVV DDBBDDGGHe comes from Erin's speechful shore | A |
Like fervid kettle bubbling o'er | B |
With hot effusions hot and weak | C |
Sound Humbug all your hollowest drums | D |
He comes of Erin's martyrdoms | D |
To Britain's well fed Church to speak | C |
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Puff him ye Journals of the Lord | E |
Twin prosers Watchman and Record | E |
Journals reserved for realms of bliss | D |
Being much too good to sell in this | D |
Prepare ye wealthier Saints your dinners | D |
Ye Spinsters spread your tea and crumpets | D |
And you ye countless Tracts for Sinners | D |
Blow all your little penny trumpets | D |
He comes the reverend man to tell | F |
To all who still the Church's part take | G |
Tales of parsonic woe that well | F |
Might make even grim Dissenter's heart ache | G |
Of ten whole bishops snatched away | H |
For ever from the light of day | H |
With God knows too how many more | A |
For whom that doom is yet in store | A |
Of Rectors cruelly compelled | I |
From Bath and Cheltenham to haste home | J |
Because the tithes by Pat withheld | I |
Will not to Bath or Cheltenham come | K |
Nor will the flocks consent to pay | H |
Their parsons thus to stay away | H |
Tho' with such parsons one may doubt | L |
If 'tisn't money well laid out | L |
Of all in short and each degree | M |
Of that once happy Hierarchy | M |
Which used to roll in wealth so pleasantly | M |
But now alas is doomed to see | M |
Its surplus brought to nonplus presently | M |
- | |
Such are the themes this man of pathos | D |
Priest of prose and lord of bathos | D |
Will preach and preach t'ye till you're dull again | N |
Then hail him Saints with joint acclaim | O |
Shout to the stars his tuneful name | O |
Which Murtagh was ere known to fame | O |
But now is Mortimer O'Mulligan | P |
- | |
All true Dick true as you're alive | Q |
I've seen him some hours since arrive | Q |
Murtagh is come the great Itinerant | R |
And Tuesday in the market place | D |
Intends to every saint and sinner in't | M |
To state what he calls Ireland's Case | D |
Meaning thereby the case of his shop | S |
Of curate vicar rector bishop | T |
And all those other grades seraphic | G |
That make men's souls their special traffic | G |
Tho' caring not a pin which way | H |
The erratic souls go so they pay | H |
Just as some roguish country nurse | D |
Who takes a foundling babe to suckle | U |
First pops the payment in her purse | D |
Then leaves poor dear to suck its knuckle | U |
Even so these reverend rigmaroles | D |
Pocket the money starve the souls | D |
Murtagh however in his glory | M |
Will tell next week a different story | M |
Will make out all these men of barter | B |
As each a saint a downright martyr | B |
Brought to the stake i e a beef one | P |
Of all their martyrdoms the chief one | P |
Tho' try them even at this they'll bear it | V |
If tender and washt down with claret | V |
- | |
Meanwhile Miss Fudge who loves all lions | D |
Your saintly next to great and high 'uns | D |
A Viscount be he what he may | H |
Would cut a Saint out any day | H |
Has just announced a godly rout | V |
Where Murtagh's to be first brought out | V |
And shown in his tame week day state | V |
Prayers half past seven tea at eight | V |
Even so the circular missive orders | D |
Pink cards with cherubs round the borders | D |
- | |
Haste Dick you're lost if you lose time | W |
Spinsters at forty five grow giddy | V |
And Murtagh with his tropes sublime | W |
Will surely carry off old Biddy | V |
Unless some spark at once propose | D |
And distance him by downright prose | D |
That sick rich squire whose wealth and lands | D |
All pass they say to Biddy's hands | D |
The patron Dick of three fat rectories | D |
Is dying of angina pectoris | D |
So that unless you're stirring soon | X |
Murtagh that priest of puff and pelf | Q |
May come in for a honey moon | X |
And be the man of it himself | Q |
- | |
As for me Dick 'tis whim 'tis folly | V |
But this young niece absorbs me wholly | V |
'Tis true the girl's a vile verse maker | B |
Would rhyme all nature if you'd let her | B |
But even her oddities plague take her | B |
But made me love her all the better | B |
Too true it is she's bitten sadly | V |
With this new rage for rhyming badly | V |
Which late hath seized all ranks and classes | D |
Down to that new Estate the masses | D |
Till one pursuit all tastes combines | D |
One common railroad o'er Parnassus | D |
Where sliding in those tuneful grooves | D |
Called couplets all creation moves | D |
And the whole world runs mad in lines | D |
Add to all this what's even still worse | D |
As rhyme itself tho' still a curse | D |
Sounds better to a chinking purse | D |
Scarce sixpence hath my charmer got | V |
While I can muster just a groat | V |
So that computing self and Venus | D |
Tenpence would clear the amount between us | D |
However things may yet prove better | B |
Meantime what awful length of letter | B |
And how while heaping thus with gibes | D |
The Pegasus of modern scribes | D |
My own small hobby of farrago | G |
Hath beat the pace at which even they go | G |
Thomas Moore
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