The Consultation Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis
Rhyme Scheme: A B C DDDEEDFFGDDHHIIDDJJD DKKLLMGDNDOOPPPNQRNS TTUHHVDDRRD| A | |
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| When they do agree their unanimity is wonderful The Critic | B |
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| Scene discovers Dr Whig and Dr Tory in consultation Patient on the floor between them | C |
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| Dr Whig This wild Irish patient does pester me so | D |
| That what to do with him I'm curst if I know | D |
| I've promist him anodynes | D |
| Dr Tory Anodynes Stuff | E |
| Tie him down gag him well he'll be tranquil enough | E |
| That's my mode of practice | D |
| Dr Whig True quite in your line | F |
| But unluckily not much till lately in mine | F |
| 'Tis so painful | G |
| Dr Tory Pooh nonsense ask Ude how he feels | D |
| When for Epicure feasts he prepares his live eels | D |
| By flinging them in 'twixt the bars of the fire | H |
| And letting them wriggle on there till they tire | H |
| He too says 'tis painful quite makes his heart bleed | I |
| But Your eels are a vile oleaginous breed | I |
| He would fain use them gently but Cookery says No | D |
| And in short eels were born to be treated just so | D |
| 'Tis the same with these Irish who're odder fish still | J |
| Your tender Whig heart shrinks from using them ill | J |
| I myself in my youth ere I came to get wise | D |
| Used at some operations to blush to the eyes | D |
| But in fact my dear brother if I may make bold | K |
| To style you as Peachum did Lockit of old | K |
| We Doctors must act with the firmness of Ude | L |
| And indifferent like him so the fish is but stewed | L |
| Must torture live Pats for the general good | M |
| Here patient groans and kicks a little | G |
| Dr Whig But what if one's patient's so devilish perverse | D |
| That he won't be thus tortured | N |
| Dr Tory Coerce sir coerce | D |
| You're a juvenile performer but once you begin | O |
| You can't think how fast you may train your hand in | O |
| And smiling who knows but old Tory may take to the shelf | P |
| With the comforting thought that in place and in pelf | P |
| He's succeeded by one just as bad as himself | P |
| Dr Whig looking flattered | N |
| Why to tell you the truth I've a small matter here | Q |
| Which you helped me to make for my patient last year | R |
| Goes to a cupboard and brings out a strait waistcoat | N |
| and gag | S |
| And such rest I've enjoyed from his raving since then | T |
| That I've made up my mind he shall wear it again | T |
| Dr Tory embracing him | U |
| Oh charming My dear Doctor Whig you're a treasure | H |
| Next to torturing myself to help you is a pleasure | H |
| Assisting Dr Whig | V |
| Give me leave I've some practice in these mad machines | D |
| There tighter the gag in the mouth by all means | D |
| Delightful all's snug not a squeak need you fear | R |
| You may now put your anodynes off till next year | R |
| Scene closes | D |
Thomas Moore
(1)
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