How young can you die of old age?
Quote by Steven Wright
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Steven Wright quote
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Steven Wright Quotes
I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'
I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.
I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.
I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out.
We live in an age when to be young and to be indifferent can be no longer synonymous. We must prepare for the coming hour. The claims of the Future are represented by suffering millions and the Youth of a Nation are the trustees of Posterity.
Men and women are not born inconstant: they are made so by their early amorous experiences.
Think as I think said the man, or you are abominable. You are a toad. And after I had thought on it, I said I will then, be a toad.
1913 wasn't a very good year. 1913 gave us the income tax, the 16th amendment and the IRS.
As a religion, bilingualism is the god that failed. It has led to no fairness, produced no unity, and cost Canadian taxpayers untold millions.
The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.
If you're going to go through hell... I suggest you come back learning something.
What's that line from TS Eliot? To arrive at the place where you started, but to know it for the first time. I'm able to write about a breakup from a different place. Same brokenness. Same rock-bottom. But a little more informed, now I'm older. Thank God for growing up.
One of the most amazing things about mathematics is the people who do math aren't usually interested in application, because mathematics itself is truly a beautiful art form. It's structures and patterns, and that's what we love, and that's what we get off on.
The follow your dreams thing is really important because so many people are railroaded into taking other paths by their family, their friends, people who should be supportive going, 'What are you talking about?' Even just seemingly regular career paths, but if it's not what people expect for you they kind of react funny.