The Tragedy, Poem Rhyme Scheme

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Qu que ipse miserrima vidi VIRGIL	A
	-
Catherine of Cleves was a Lady of rank	B
She had lands and fine houses and cash in the Bank	B
She had jewels and rings	C
And a thousand smart things	C
Was lovely and young	D
With a rather sharp tongue	D
And she wedded a Noble of high degree	E
With the star of the order of St Esprit	E
But the Duke de Guise	F
Was by many degrees	G
Her senior and not very easy to please	G
He'd a sneer on his lip and a scowl with his eye	H
And a frown on his brow and he look'd like a Guy	H
So she took to intriguing	I
With Monsieur St Megrin	J
A young man of fashion and figure and worth	K
But with no great pretensions to fortune or birth	K
He would sing fence and dance	L
With the best man in France	L
And took his rappee with genteel nonchalance	M
He smiled and he flatter'd and flirted with ease	G
And was very superior to Monseigneur de Guise	F
	-
Now Monsieur St Megrin was curious to know	J
If the Lady approved of his passion or no	J
So without more ado	N
He put on his surtout	N
And went to a man with a beard like a Jew	N
One Signor Ruggieri	E
A Cunning man near he	E
Could conjure tell fortunes and calculate tides	O
Perform tricks on the cards and Heaven knows what besides	O
Bring back a stray'd cow silver ladle or spoon	J
And was thought to be thick with the Man in the Moon	J
The Sage took his stand	N
With his wand in his hand	N
Drew a circle then gave the dread word of command	N
Saying solemnly ' Presto Hey quick Cock alorum '	-
When the Duchess immediately popped up before 'em	P
	-
Just then a Conjunction of Venus and Mars	Q
Or something peculiar above in the stars	Q
Attracted the notice of Signor Ruggieri	E
Who 'bolted ' and left him alone with his deary	E
Monsieur St Megrin went down on his knees	G
And the Duchess shed tears large as marrow fat peas	G
When fancy the shock	R
A loud double knock	R
Made the Lady cry 'Get up you fool there's De Guise '	-
'Twas his Grace sure enough	S
So Monsieur looking bluff	S
Strutted by with his hat on and fingering his ruff	S
While unseen by either away flew the Dame	T
Through the opposite key hole the same way she came	T
But alack and alas	U
A mishap came to pass	U
In her hurry she somehow or other let fall	V
A new silk Bandana she'd worn as a shawl	V
She had used it for drying	I
Her bright eyes while crying	I
And blowing her nose as her Beau talk'd of 'dying '	-
	-
Now the Duke who had seen it so lately adorn her	W
And knew the great C with the Crown in the corner	W
The instant he spied it smoked something amiss	X
And said with some energy 'D it what's this '	-
He went home in a fume	Y
And bounced into her room	Y
Crying 'So Ma'am I find I've some cause to be jealous	Z
Look here here's a proof you run after the fellows	A2
Now take up that pen if it's bad choose a better	W
And write as I dictate this moment a letter	W
To Monsieur you know who '	-
The Lady look'd blue	N
But replied with much firmness ' Hang me if I do '	-
De Guise grasped her wrist	N
With his great bony fist	N
And pinch'd it and gave it so painful a twist	N
That his hard iron gauntlet the flesh went an inch in	J
She did not mind death but she could not stand pinching	I
So she sat down and wrote	N
This polite little note	N
'Dear Mister St Megrin	J
The Chiefs of the League in	J
Our house mean to dine	J
This evening at nine	J
I shall soon after ten	J
Slip away from the men	J
And you'll find me up stairs in the drawing room then	J
Come up the back way or those impudent thieves	B2
Of Servants will see you Yours	C2
Catherine of Cleves '	-
She directed and sealed it all pale as a ghost	N
And De Guise put it into the Twopenny Post	N
	-
St Megrin had almost jumped out of his skin	J
For joy that day when the post came in	J
He read the note through	N
Then began it anew	N
And thought it almost too good news to be true	N
He clapped on his hat	N
And a hood over that	N
With a cloak to disguise him and make him look fat	N
So great his impatience from half after four	D2
He was waiting till Ten at De Guise's back door	D2
When he heard the great clock of St Genevieve chime	E2
He ran up the back staircase six steps at a time	E2
He had scare made his bow	F2
He hardly knew how	F2
When alas and alack	I
There was no getting back	I
For the drawing room door was bang'd to with a whack	I
In vain he applied	N
To the handle and tried	N
Somebody or other had locked it outside	N
And the Duchess in agony mourn'd her mishap	G2
'We are caught like a couple of rats in a trap '	-
	-
Now the Duchess's Page	H2
About twelve years of age	H2
For so little a boy was remarkably sage	H2
And just in the nick to their joy and amazement	N
Popp'd the Gas lighter's ladder close under the casement	N
But all would not do	N
Though St Megrin got through	N
The window below stood De Guise and his crew	N
And though never man was more brave than St Megrin	N
Yet fighting a score is extremely fatiguing	I
He thrust carte and tierce	I2
Uncommonly fierce	J2
But not Beelzebub's self could their cuirasses pierce	J2
While his doublet and hose	A2
Being holiday clothes	K2
Were soon cut through and through from his knees to his nose	A2
Still an old crooked sixpence the Conjuror gave him	L2
From pistol and sword was sufficient to save him	L2
But when beat on his knees	G
That confounded De Guise	F
Came behind with the 'fogle' that caused all this breeze	G
Whipp'd it tight round his neck and when backward he'd jerk'd him	L2
The rest of the rascals jump'd on him and Burk'd him	L2
The poor little Page too himself got no quarter but	N
Was served the same way	M2
And was found the next day	M2
With his heels in the air and his head in the water butt	N
Catherine of Cleves	G
Roar'd 'Murder ' and 'Thieves '	-
From the window above	N2
While they murder'd her love	N2
Till finding the rogues had accomplish'd his slaughter	W
She drank Prussic acid without any water	W
And died like a Duke and a Duchess's daughter	W
	-
	-
Moral	A
	-
Take warning ye Fair from this tale of the Bard's	G
And don't go where fortunes are told on the cards	G
But steer clear of Conjurors never put query	E
To 'Wise Mrs Williams ' or folks like Ruggieri	E
When alone in your room shut the door close and lock it	N
Above all keep your handkerchief safe in your pocket	N
Lest you too should stumble and Lord Leveson Gower he	E
Be call'd on sad poet to tell your sad story	E

Richard Harris Barham

The Tragedy, Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

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