I have a small confession. Forgive this pouring of my heart.

I cherish my bed, where we first met. The moment I clapped eyes on you, I knew you were going to be a sharp girlfriend. Recently, I have began to regard you as much more than just a sharp girlfriend.

My feelings for you intensified when I saw you smoking in the moonlight. I was further wowed by your tremendous chatting skills.

You have nipples like yummy broad beans and the most fake nose I've ever seen. When I look at you, I just want to comfort those yummy broad bean nipples and photograph that fake nose.

You're so special with your full ways. The way you handle your hairy best friend shows great chastity and patience.

I know that to you I'm just a manky partner but I think we could be happy together, walking like two annoying maggots.

Please, say you'll be mine Bianca!