What Almost Every Woman Knows Sooner Or Later Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

Rhyme Scheme: AABBCCDEEFGFHIJKJLML LNOPOBFQGFRHR

Husbands are things that wives have to get used to putting up withA
And with whom they breakfast with and sup withA
They interfere with the discipline of nurseriesB
And forget anniversariesB
And when they have been particularly remissC
They think they can cure everything with a great big kissC
And when you tell them about something awful they have done they justD
look unbearably patient and smile a superior smileE
And think Oh she'll get over it after a whileE
And they always drink cocktails faster than they can assimilate themF
And if you look in their direction they act as if they were martyrs andG
you were trying to sacrifice or immolate themF
And when it's a question of walking five miles to play golf they are veryH
energetic but if it's doing anything useful around the house they areI
very lethargicJ
And then they tell you that women are unreasonable and don't knowK
anything about logicJ
And they never want to get up or go to bed at the same time as you doL
And when you perform some simple common or garden rite like puttingM
cold cream on your face or applying a touch of lipstick they seem toL
think that you are up to some kind of black magic like a priestess of VoodooL
And they are brave and calm and cool and collected about the ailmentsN
of the person they have promised to honor and cherishO
But the minute they get a sniffle or a stomachache of their own whyP
you'd think they were about to perishO
And when you are alone with them they ignore all the minor courtesiesB
and as for airs and graces they uttlerly lack themF
But when there are a lot of people around they hand you so many chairsQ
and ashtrays and sandwiches and butter you with such bowings andG
scrapings that you want to smack themF
Husbands are indeed an irritating form of lifeR
And yet through some quirk of Providence most of them are really veryH
deeply ensconced in the affection of their wifeR

Ogden Nash



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