I Do, I Will, I Have Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

Rhyme Scheme: ABCCDEFDGHIAHJKLFM LNONBIPI

How wise I am to have instructed the butlerA
to instruct the first footman to instruct the secondB
footman to instruct the doorman to order my carriageC
I am about to volunteer a definition of marriageC
Just as I know that there are two Hagens Walter and CopenD
I know that marriage is a legal and religious alliance enteredE
into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut and aF
woman who can't sleep with the window openD
Moreover just as I am unsure of the difference betweenG
flora and fauna and flotsam and jetsamH
I am quite sure that marriage is the alliance of two peopleI
one of whom never remembers birthdays and the otherA
never forgetsamH
And he refuses to believe there is a leak in the water pipe orJ
the gas pipe and she is convinced she is about to asphyxiateK
or drownL
And she says Quick get up and get my hairbrushes off theF
windowsill it's raining in and he replies Oh they're all rightM
-
it's only raining straight downL
That is why marriage is so much more interesting than divorceN
Because it's the only known example of the happy meeting ofO
the immovable object and the irresistible forceN
So I hope husbands and wives will continue to debate andB
combat over everything debatable and combatableI
Because I believe a little incompatibility is the spice of lifeP
particularly if he has income and she is pattableI

Ogden Nash



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