Common Cold Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis
Rhyme Scheme: AABBCCDD EEFFGGHI JJKKLLAA AAAAAAMK NNOOPPAA| Go hang yourself you old M D | A |
| You shall not sneer at me | A |
| Pick up your hat and stethoscope | B |
| Go wash your mouth with laundry soap | B |
| I contemplate a joy exquisite | C |
| I'm not paying you for your visit | C |
| I did not call you to be told | D |
| My malady is a common cold | D |
| - | |
| By pounding brow and swollen lip | E |
| By fever's hot and scaly grip | E |
| By those two red redundant eyes | F |
| That weep like woeful April skies | F |
| By racking snuffle snort and sniff | G |
| By handkerchief after handkerchief | G |
| This cold you wave away as naught | H |
| Is the damnedest cold man ever caught | I |
| - | |
| Give ear you scientific fossil | J |
| Here is the genuine Cold Colossal | J |
| The Cold of which researchers dream | K |
| The Perfect Cold the Cold Supreme | K |
| This honored system humbly holds | L |
| The Super cold to end all colds | L |
| The Cold Crusading for Democracy | A |
| The F hrer of the Streptococcracy | A |
| - | |
| Bacilli swarm within my portals | A |
| Such as were ne'er conceived by mortals | A |
| But bred by scientists wise and hoary | A |
| In some Olympic laboratory | A |
| Bacteria as large as mice | A |
| With feet of fire and heads of ice | A |
| Who never interrupt for slumber | M |
| Their stamping elephantine rumba | K |
| - | |
| A common cold gadzooks forsooth | N |
| Ah yes And Lincoln was jostled by Booth | N |
| Don Juan was a budding gallant | O |
| And Shakespeare's plays show signs of talent | O |
| The Arctic winter is fairly coolish | P |
| And your diagnosis is fairly foolish | P |
| Oh what a derision history holds | A |
| For the man who belittled the Cold of Colds | A |
Ogden Nash
(1)
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