Bankers Are Just Like Anybody Else, Except Richer Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

Rhyme Scheme: ABAAAAAACDADAEFAGHIJ IKDLDMNOCOPHPAQIRSTI

This is a song to celebrate banksA
Because they are full of money and you go into them and allB
you hear is clinks and clanksA
Or maybe a sound like the wind in the trees on the hillsA
Which is the rustling of the thousand dollar billsA
Most bankers dwell in marble hallsA
Which they get to dwell in because they encourage depositsA
and discourage withdrawalsA
And particularly because they all observe one rule which woeC
betides the banker who fails to heed itD
Which is you must never lend any money to anybody unlessA
they don't need itD
I know you you cautious conservative banksA
If people are worried about their rent it is your duty to denyE
them the loan of one nickel yes even one copper engravingF
of the martyred son of the late Nancy HanksA
Yes if they request fifty dollars to pay for a baby you mustG
look at them like Tarzan looking at an uppity ape in theH
jungleI
And tell them what do they think a bank is anyhow they hadJ
better go get the money from their wife's aunt or ungleI
But suppose people come in and they have a million and theyK
want another million to pile on top of itD
Why you brim with the milk of human kindness and youL
urge them to accept every drop of itD
And you lend them the million so then they have two millionM
and this gives them the idea that they would be better offN
with fourO
So they already have two million as security so you have noC
hesitation in lending them two moreO
And all the vice presidents nod their heads in rhythmP
And the only question asked is do the borrowers want theH
money sent or do they want to take it withmP
Because I think they deserve our appreciation and thanksA
the jackasses who go around saying that health and happiQ
ness are everything and money isn't essentialI
Because as soon as they have to borrow some unimportantR
money to maintain their health and happiness they starveS
to death so they can't go around any more sneering at goodT
old money which is nothing short of providentialI

Ogden Nash



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