The more unraveled mysteries,
The more hidden discoveries,
I packed my old rusty suitcase,
Voyaging to a destination i thought I knew,
Until every element pointed at ignorance,
I was treading a road with no signpost.

Take me to the crossroad where diligence leads to success,
I would urge the moulting spirit in me,
Rather than hold hands with my chaperone,
Father scolding, mother correcting,
Siblings and society demanding,
And there's the women figures inspiring.

I was full of life, ate food, was unbothered,
My infant life, picture perfect for a fact,
Because a carrier was behind the scenes,
At about the same time my mind bloomed,
My carrier's hands got weaker,
It dawned that my world was on my shoulder.

My eyes now saw what I thought was not there,
And my ears could tell what the lips would say,
Wobbly feet, shaky hands, I struggled to steady,
I wanted to do more, be more,
Growing up is a job I never got paid for,
I did myself a favour else the world would blossom, leaving me behind.

The World was watching,
I burned my eyes out studying for college,
Biting my tongue in the name of rapping Kendrick's rhymes,
Learning every dance move to keep up with the trend,
Burning them calories for my hourglass summer body,
Yet I never seemed to be enough for myself.

The compulsion to make more impact,
I was walking on a tight rope,
Indecision holding steadfast to my wild thoughts,
Countless times I failed, mocked and reprimanded,
I tripped over on my stepping stone,
But I reysed nonetheless.

On some days I ran as lightening was fast,
Other times I trudged along,
To find the light at the end of the trenches,
Wishing I would find me too sudden,
Then and now my lover's palm pats my back,
I use a clean kiss to block away the pain.

I'll tell you how I tasted a wide range of emotions,
I drank from the cup of gaiety, sobriety and tranquility,
From the cup of duress, depression and lack,
Forbidden fruits call out to me,
Since vices are becoming the new normal,
I heeded the faint whispers of Mama's to ward off peer pressure.

I held on to large fragments of mother's rede,
This would mean giving up on some friendships,
Redefining my values and drawing my boundaries,
It felt right, I knew it was right,
Perhaps my intuition has been my navigation,
I pressed on, seeking to uphold my helper's policy of perfection.


I desire to be a brand I'm proud of, bent on doing everything right,
But the night is never without it's demons,
So I fall in the potholes of mistake and fear,
Learning that one can never be too careful or too sure,
Yet if I dwell on my flaws, I remain on the floors,
So while I work and wait, I don't forget to watch and pray.

When I tire, I don't stop, I only rest,
In disguise of a treat, a date or vacation,
For it's never over until it's over,
As exhausting as it sounds, I can never stop growing,
Physically, mentally, financially and socially,
I can only pray the road narrows to a pool of self satisfaction.

As I grow,
I pledge to watch out for the signs of hope,
I pledge to not seek validation elsewhere or self pity,
I pledge to never look for what is not there,
For as I peer deep, searching for the light,
I know I will come to realize that I am the light.