Albert And The 'eadsman Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis
Rhyme Scheme: ABCB DEFE CGCG CFHF GICI FJKJ GCC LMHM NBD FGFG OCFC NPN QARA NFSF CGTG NDG NUGU NNNN| On young Albert Ramsbottom's birthday | A |
| His parents asked what he'd like most | B |
| He said to see t' Tower of London | C |
| And gaze upon Anne Boleyn's ghost | B |
| - | |
| They thowt this request were unusual | D |
| And at first to refuse were inclined | E |
| 'Til Pa said a trip t' metrollopse | F |
| Might broaden the little lad's mind | E |
| - | |
| They took charrybank up to London | C |
| And got there at quarter to fower | G |
| Then seeing as pubs wasn't open | C |
| They went straight away to the tower | G |
| - | |
| They didn't think much to the buildin' | C |
| 'T weren't what they'd been led to suppose | F |
| And the 'Bad Word' Tower didn't impress them | H |
| They said Blackpool had got one of those | F |
| - | |
| At last Albert found a Beefeater | G |
| And filled the old chap with alarm | I |
| By asking for Ghost of Anne Boleyn | C |
| As carried her 'ead 'neath her arm | I |
| - | |
| Said Beefeater 'You ought to come Fridays | F |
| If it's ghost of Anne Boleyn you seek | J |
| Her union now limits her output | K |
| And she only gets one walk a week | J |
| - | |
| 'But ' he said 'if it's ghosts that you're after | G |
| There's Lady Jane Grey's to be seen | C |
| She runs around chased by the 'Eadsman | C |
| At midnight on th' old Tower Green ' | - |
| - | |
| They waited on t' green till near midnight | L |
| Then thinking they'd time for a sup | M |
| They took out what food they'd brought with them | H |
| And waited for t' ghost to turn up | M |
| - | |
| On the first stroke of twelve up jumped Albert | N |
| His mouth full of cold dripping toast | B |
| With his stick with the 'orses 'ead 'andle | D |
| He pointed and said 'Here's the ghost ' | - |
| - | |
| They felt their skins going all goosey | F |
| As Lady Jane's Spectre drew near | G |
| And Albert fair swallered his tonsils | F |
| When the 'Eadsman an' all did appear | G |
| - | |
| The 'Eadsman chased Jane round the grass patch | O |
| They saw his axe flash in the moon | C |
| And seeing as poor lass were 'eadless | F |
| They wondered what what next he would prune | C |
| - | |
| He suddenly caught sight of Albert | N |
| As midnight was on its last chime | P |
| As he lifted his axe father murmered | N |
| 'We'll get the insurance this time ' | - |
| - | |
| At that Mother rose taking umbridge | Q |
| She said 'Put that cleaver away | A |
| You're not cutting our Albert's 'ead off | R |
| Yon collar were clean on today | A |
| - | |
| The brave little lad stood undaunted | N |
| 'Til the ghost were within half a pace | F |
| Then taking the toast he were eating | S |
| Slapped it dripping side down in his face | F |
| - | |
| 'T were a proper set back for the 'Eadsman | C |
| He let out one 'owl of despair | G |
| Then taking his ladyfriend with him | T |
| He disappeared just like that there | G |
| - | |
| When Pa saw the way as they vanished | N |
| He trembled with fear and looked blue | D |
| 'Til Ma went and patted his shoulder | G |
| An' said 'Sallright lad we saw it too ' | - |
| - | |
| Some say 'twere the drippin' as done it | N |
| From a roast leg of mutton it came | U |
| And as th' 'Eadsman had been a Beefeater | G |
| They reckon he vanished from shame | U |
| - | |
| And around Tower Green from that moment | N |
| They've ne're seen a sign of the ghost | N |
| But when t' Beefeaters go on night duty | N |
| They take slices of cold drippin' toast | N |
Marriott Edgar
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