I want a big blunt up to my head,
Want the nice front on the point end,
Want the cup between my crusty lips,
Want the concealed strap on my hip,
I wanna hangout on the deadly strip,
Cold sweat that made a heavy drip,
Salty dew dropping from the split chin,
Just wanna take that tempted leap,
Thinking about my lonely dreams,
Just a lonely child up in my mind,
Meditation of my sad alibi,
Lack of attention from when I was a kid,
Instant emote of pure jealousy,
Sorry to all the caring people,
Sorry for my angry stupid self,
Growing still feeling the same,
Just a lonely child in my brain,
Love the suffering, sorry for my blames,
Realized the past that had my way,
I'm sorry for my misleading taste,
Sorry for your upsetting phase,
Sorry for being the depressing case,
That's why I took the Purple Haze,
Inside I really just feel like the waste,
I know you care but I don't know why...
Pushing people side when I need a talk,
Hurt my friends with my constant stupidity,
Close friend growing up that I didn't had,
Tried to appreciate my own lonely company,
Most times suicide to think to free my lonesome,
As a kid, wasn't the attention they really want,
Just another lone being walking around,
Stucked in the lane of my depressing past,
Sorry if I made you wither like the grass,
I'm sorry if I shattered your fragile glass,
Or made you felt like you sadly wasted your time,
That's why people don't see me as their type,
Sabotage, always ruined the vibe,
Realizing everytime just sets me to cry,
So afraid of being in a space if I'm that dry,
Locked in my shell as a lonely child,
I understand, mostly the reason I wanna die,
Be the birds flying across the clear skies,
The howling wind in the silent night,
At my grave, pouring out crimson wine,
The resting dead Frankenstein,
Friends drinking from the holy shrine...


It was to end the pain of my lonely child,
Didn't appreciate my gifted life,
Wasting all my life just to find my happiness,
Don't know what the real me felt again,
Mom crying all alone on the rusty bench,
She died from the stroke of the envy mess,
November 19, hugging me on the chest,
Granddad all alone with a little help,
Died in a wheelchair while I'm doing my exams,
June 21, the greatest dad that I ever wanted yea,
Lonesome for my thought, never liked this realm,
Sorry for my uncontrollably backchat,
Cause by the fighting of these falling angels,
Cause by the annoyance of my family,
Treated nice, but most times I feel ashamed,
It's something to accept and to take,
Sorry for being such a depressing sac,
The depressing vibe, depressing chimes,
For being so silent, for being so dumb,
Just the brooding ghoulish bodach,
A new querencia to call my home of joy,
Couldn't find my peace, just stuck in suffering.
Probably something that I earn and deserved,
Lachrymose dropping in the golden dirt,
Why I want to be under the crusty Earth,
To end my stupidity and the past it hurts.