Upon The Horrid Plot Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis
Rhyme Scheme: A BBCCDDEEFFGGHHIIJJKK LLMMNNOOPPAAQQRSLLBB TUVVWWBBKKBBBBXXBBYY VZBBKKBBBBBA2KKBB| DISCOVERED BY HARLEQUIN THE BISHOP OF ROCHESTER'S FRENCH DOG IN A DIALOGUE BETWEEN A WHIG AND A TORY | A |
| - | |
| - | |
| I ask'd a Whig the other night | B |
| How came this wicked plot to light | B |
| He answer'd that a dog of late | C |
| Inform'd a minister of state | C |
| Said I from thence I nothing know | D |
| For are not all informers so | D |
| A villain who his friend betrays | E |
| We style him by no other phrase | E |
| And so a perjured dog denotes | F |
| Porter and Pendergast and Oates | F |
| And forty others I could name | G |
| WHIG But you must know this dog was lame | G |
| TORY A weighty argument indeed | H |
| Your evidence was lame proceed | H |
| Come help your lame dog o'er the stile | I |
| WHIG Sir you mistake me all this while | I |
| I mean a dog without a joke | J |
| Can howl and bark but never spoke | J |
| TORY I'm still to seek which dog you mean | K |
| Whether cur Plunkett or whelp Skean | K |
| An English or an Irish hound | L |
| Or t'other puppy that was drown'd | L |
| Or Mason that abandon'd bitch | M |
| Then pray be free and tell me which | M |
| For every stander by was marking | N |
| That all the noise they made was barking | N |
| You pay them well the dogs have got | O |
| Their dogs head in a porridge pot | O |
| And 'twas but just for wise men say | P |
| That every dog must have his day | P |
| Dog Walpole laid a quart of nog on't | A |
| He'd either make a hog or dog on't | A |
| And look'd since he has got his wish | Q |
| As if he had thrown down a dish | Q |
| Yet this I dare foretell you from it | R |
| He'll soon return to his own vomit | S |
| WHIG Besides this horrid plot was found | L |
| By Neynoe after he was drown'd | L |
| TORY Why then the proverb is not right | B |
| Since you can teach dead dogs to bite | B |
| WHIG I proved my proposition full | T |
| But Jacobites are strangely dull | U |
| Now let me tell you plainly sir | V |
| Our witness is a real cur | V |
| A dog of spirit for his years | W |
| Has twice two legs two hanging ears | W |
| His name is Harlequin I wot | B |
| And that's a name in every plot | B |
| Resolved to save the British nation | K |
| Though French by birth and education | K |
| His correspondence plainly dated | B |
| Was all decipher'd and translated | B |
| His answers were exceeding pretty | B |
| Before the secret wise committee | B |
| Confest as plain as he could bark | X |
| Then with his fore foot set his mark | X |
| TORY Then all this while have I been bubbled | B |
| I thought it was a dog in doublet | B |
| The matter now no longer sticks | Y |
| For statesmen never want dog tricks | Y |
| But since it was a real cur | V |
| And not a dog in metaphor | Z |
| I give you joy of the report | B |
| That he's to have a place at court | B |
| WHIG Yes and a place he will grow rich in | K |
| A turnspit in the royal kitchen | K |
| Sir to be plain I tell you what | B |
| We had occasion for a plot | B |
| And when we found the dog begin it | B |
| We guess'd the bishop's foot was in it | B |
| TORY I own it was a dangerous project | B |
| And you have proved it by dog logic | A2 |
| Sure such intelligence between | K |
| A dog and bishop ne'er was seen | K |
| Till you began to change the breed | B |
| Your bishops are all dogs indeed | B |
Jonathan Swift
(1)
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