An Excellent New Ballad Or, The True English Dean[1] To Be Hanged For A Rape. 1730 Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

Rhyme Scheme: ABABCC DEDECC FGFGCC HIHICC JKLKCC MNMNCC OPOQCC NDNDCC RSTSCC UVUVCC WSWSCC XNYNCC

Our brethren of England who love us so dearA
And in all they do for us so kindly do meanB
A blessing upon them have sent us this yearA
For the good of our church a true English deanB
A holier priest ne'er was wrapt up in crapeC
The worst you can say he committed a rapeC
-
In his journey to Dublin he lighted at ChesterD
And there he grew fond of another man's wifeE
Burst into her chamber and would have caress'd herD
But she valued her honour much more than her lifeE
She bustled and struggled and made her escapeC
To a room full of guests for fear of a rapeC
-
The dean he pursued to recover his gameF
And now to attack her again he preparesG
But the company stood in defence of the dameF
They cudgell'd and cuff'd him and kick'd him down stairsG
His deanship was now in a damnable scrapeC
And this was no time for committing a rapeC
-
To Dublin he comes to the bagnio he goesH
And orders the landlord to bring him a whoreI
No scruple came on him his gown to exposeH
'Twas what all his life he had practised beforeI
He made himself drunk with the juice of the grapeC
And got a good clap but committed no rapeC
-
The dean and his landlord a jolly comradeJ
Resolved for a fortnight to swim in delightK
For why they had both been brought up to the tradeL
Of drinking all day and of whoring all nightK
His landlord was ready his deanship to apeC
In every debauch but committing a rapeC
-
This Protestant zealot this English divineM
In church and in state was of principles soundN
Was truer than Steele to the Hanover lineM
And grieved that a Tory should live above groundN
Shall a subject so loyal be hang'd by the napeC
For no other crime but committing a rapeC
-
By old Popish canons as wise men have penn'd 'emO
Each priest had a concubine jure ecclesiaeP
Who'd be Dean of Fernes without a commendamO
And precedents we can produce if it please yeQ
Then why should the dean when whores are so cheapC
Be put to the peril and toil of a rapeC
-
If fortune should please but to take such a crotchetN
To thee I apply great Smedley's successorD
To give thee lawn sleeves a mitre and rochetN
Whom wouldst thou resemble I leave thee a guesserD
But I only behold thee in Atherton's shapeC
For sodomy hang'd as thou for a rapeC
-
Ah dost thou not envy the brave Colonel ChartresR
Condemn'd for thy crime at threescore and tenS
To hang him all England would lend him their gartersT
Yet he lives and is ready to ravish againS
Then throttle thyself with an ell of strong tapeC
For thou hast not a groat to atone for a rapeC
-
The dean he was vex'd that his whores were so willingU
He long'd for a girl that would struggle and squallV
He ravish'd her fairly and saved a good shillingU
But here was to pay the devil and allV
His troubles and sorrows now come in a heapC
And hang'd he must be for committing a rapeC
-
If maidens are ravish'd it is their own choiceW
Why are they so wilful to struggle with menS
If they would but lie quiet and stifle their voiceW
No devil nor dean could ravish them thenS
Nor would there be need of a strong hempen capeC
Tied round the dean's neck for committing a rapeC
-
Our church and our state dear England maintainsX
For which all true Protestant hearts should be gladN
She sends us our bishops our judges and deansY
And better would give us if better she hadN
But lord how the rabble will stare and will gapeC
When the good English dean is hang'd up for a rapeC

Jonathan Swift



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