A Dialogue[1] Between Mad Mullinix And Timothy Poem Rhyme Scheme

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Jonathan Swift

A Dialogue[1] Between Mad Mullinix And Timothy Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

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M	A
I own 'tis not my bread and butter	B
But prithee Tim why all this clutter	B
Why ever in these raging fits	C
Damning to hell the Jacobites	D
When if you search the kingdom round	E
There's hardly twenty to be found	E
No not among the priests and friars	F
T 'Twixt you and me G d d n the liars	F
M The Tories are gone every man over	B
To our illustrious house of Hanover	B
From all their conduct this is plain	G
And then	H
T G d d n the liars again	H
Did not an earl but lately vote	I
To bring in I could cut his throat	I
Our whole accounts of public debts	J
M Lord how this frothy coxcomb frets Aside	K
T Did not an able statesman bishop	L
This dangerous horrid motion dish up	L
As Popish craft did he not rail on't	M
Show fire and fagot in the tail on't	M
Proving the earl a grand offender	B
And in a plot for the Pretender	B
Whose fleet 'tis all our friends' opinion	N
Was then embarking at Avignon	O
M These wrangling jars of Whig and Tory	M
Are stale and worn as Troy town story	M
The wrong 'tis certain you were both in	P
And now you find you fought for nothing	Q
Your faction when their game was new	R
Might want such noisy fools as you	R
But you when all the show is past	S
Resolve to stand it out the last	S
Like Martin Marall gaping on	T
Not minding when the song is done	N
When all the bees are gone to settle	U
You clatter still your brazen kettle	U
The leaders whom you listed under	B
Have dropt their arms and seized the plunder	B
And when the war is past you come	V
To rattle in their ears your drum	V
And as that hateful hideous Grecian	N
Thersites he was your relation	N
Was more abhorr'd and scorn'd by those	W
With whom he served than by his foes	W
So thou art grown the detestation	N
Of all thy party through the nation	N
Thy peevish and perpetual teasing	Q
With plots and Jacobites and treason	N
Thy busy never meaning face	X
Thy screw'd up front thy state grimace	Y
Thy formal nods important sneers	Z
Thy whisperings foisted in all ears	Z
Which are whatever you may think	A2
But nonsense wrapt up in a stink	A2
Have made thy presence in a true sense	B2
To thy own side so d n'd a nuisance	C2
That when they have you in their eye	D2
As if the devil drove they fly	D2
T My good friend Mullinix forbear	B
I vow to G you're too severe	B
If it could ever yet be known	N
I took advice except my own	N
It should be yours but d n my blood	E2
I must pursue the public good	F2
The faction is it not notorious	Y
Keck at the memory of Glorious	Y
'Tis true nor need I to be told	G2
My quondam friends are grown so cold	G2
That scarce a creature can be found	E
To prance with me his statue round	E
The public safety I foresee	M
Henceforth depends alone on me	M
And while this vital breath I blow	H2
Or from above or from below	H2
I'll sputter swagger curse and rail	I2
The Tories' terror scourge and flail	I2
M Tim you mistake the matter quite	J2
The Tories you are their delight	J2
And should you act a different part	K2
Be grave and wise 'twould break their heart	K2
Why Tim you have a taste you know	H2
And often see a puppet show	H2
Observe the audience is in pain	N
While Punch is hid behind the scene	N
But when they hear his rusty voice	L2
With what impatience they rejoice	L2
And then they value not two straws	M2
How Solomon decides the cause	N2
Which the true mother which pretender	B
Nor listen to the witch of Endor	B
Should Faustus with the devil behind him	O2
Enter the stage they never mind him	O2
If Punch to stir their fancy shows	W
In at the door his monstrous nose	W
Then sudden draws it back again	N
O what a pleasure mixt with pain	N
You every moment think an age	P2
Till he appears upon the stage	P2
And first his bum you see him clap	Q2
Upon the Queen of Sheba's lap	Q2
The Duke of Lorraine drew his sword	R2
Punch roaring ran and running roar'd	R2
Reviled all people in his jargon	N
And sold the King of Spain a bargain	N
St George himself he plays the wag on	N
And mounts astride upon the dragon	N
He gets a thousand thumps and kicks	S2
Yet cannot leave his roguish tricks	S2
In every action thrusts his nose	W
The reason why no mortal knows	W
In doleful scenes that break our heart	K2
Punch comes like you and lets a fart	K2
There's not a puppet made of wood	F2
But what would hang him if they could	F2
While teasing all by all he's teased	T2
How well are the spectators pleased	T2
Who in the motion have no share	B
But purely come to hear and stare	B
Have no concern for Sabra's sake	U2
Which gets the better saint or snake	U2
Provided Punch for there's the jest	V2
Be soundly maul'd and plague the rest	V2
Thus Tim philosophers suppose	W
The world consists of puppet shows	W
Where petulant conceited fellows	W
Perform the part of Punchinelloes	W
So at this booth which we call Dublin	N
Tim thou'rt the Punch to stir up trouble in	N
You wriggle fidge and make a rout	W2
Put all your brother puppets out	W2
Run on in a perpetual round	E
To tease perplex disturb confound	E
Intrude with monkey grin and clatter	B
To interrupt all serious matter	B
Are grown the nuisance of your clan	N
Who hate and scorn you to a man	N
But then the lookers on the Tories	W
You still divert with merry stories	W
They would consent that all the crew	B
Were hang'd before they'd part with you	B
But tell me Tim upon the spot	X2
By all this toil what hast thou got	X2
If Tories must have all the sport	Y2
I fear you'll be disgraced at court	Y2
T Got D n my blood I frank my letters	W
Walk to my place before my betters	W
And simple as I now stand here	B
Expect in time to be a peer	B
Got D n me why I got my will	Z2
Ne'er hold my peace and ne'er stand still	Z2
I fart with twenty ladies by	D2
They call me beast and what care I	D2
I bravely call the Tories Jacks	W
And sons of whores behind their backs	W
But could you bring me once to think	A2
That when I strut and stare and stink	A2
Revile and slander fume and storm	A3
Betray make oath impeach inform	A3
With such a constant loyal zeal	B3
To serve myself and commonweal	B3
And fret the Tories' souls to death	C3
I did but lose my precious breath	C3
And when I damn my soul to plague 'em	V
Am as you tell me but their May game	D3
Consume my vitals they shall know	H2
I am not to be treated so	H2
I'd rather hang myself by half	E3
Than give those rascals cause to laugh	E3
But how my friend can I endure	B
Once so renown'd to live obscure	B
No little boys and girls to cry	D2
There's nimble Tim a passing by	D2
No more my dear delightful way tread	F3
Of keeping up a party hatred	E2
Will none the Tory dogs pursue	B
When through the streets I cry halloo	B3
Must all my d n me's bloods and wounds	W
Pass only now for empty sounds	W
Shall Tory rascals be elected	E2
Although I swear them disaffected	G3
And when I roar a plot a plot	X2
Will our own party mind me not	X2
So qualified to swear and lie	B3
Will they not trust me for a spy	B3
Dear Mullinix your good advice	W
I beg you see the case is nice	W
O were I equal in renown	N
Like thee to please this thankless town	N
Or blest with such engaging parts	W
To win the truant schoolboys' hearts	W
Thy virtues meet their just reward	R2
Attended by the sable guard	H3
Charm'd by thy voice the 'prentice drops	W
The snow ball destined at thy chops	W
Thy graceful steps and colonel's air	B
Allure the cinder picking fair	B
M No more in mark of true affection	N
I take thee under my protection	N
Your parts are good 'tis not denied	K
I wish they had been well applied	K
But now observe my counsel viz	W
Adapt your habit to your phiz	W
You must no longer thus equip ye	M
As Horace says optat ephippia	B3
There's Latin too that you may see	M
How much improved by Dr	B
I have a coat at home that you may try	B3
'Tis just like this which hangs by geometry	M
My hat has much the nicer air	B
Your block will fit it to a hair	B
That wig I would not for the world	I3
Have it so formal and so curl'd	I3
'Twill be so oily and so sleek	J3
When I have lain in it a week	J3
You'll find it well prepared to take	U2
The figure of toupee and snake	U2
Thus dress'd alike from top to toe	H2
That which is which 'tis hard to know	H2
When first in public we appear	B
I'll lead the van keep you the rear	B
Be careful as you walk behind	K3
Use all the talents of your mind	K3
Be studious well to imitate	L3
My portly motion mien and gait	L3
Mark my address and learn my style	B3
When to look scornful when to smile	B3
Nor sputter out your oaths so fast	S
But keep your swearing to the last	S
Then at our leisure we'll be witty	M
And in the streets divert the city	M
The ladies from the windows gaping	Q
The children all our motions aping	Q
Your conversation to refine	N
I'll take you to some friends of mine	N
Choice spirits who employ their parts	W
To mend the world by useful arts	W
Some cleansing hollow tubes to spy	B3
Direct the zenith of the sky	B3
Some have the city in their care	B
From noxious steams to purge the air	B
Some teach us in these dangerous days	W
How to walk upright in our ways	W
Some whose reforming hands engage	P2
To lash the lewdness of the age	P2
Some for the public service go	H2
Perpetual envoys to and fro	H2
Whose able heads support the weight	L3
Of twenty ministers of state	L3
We scorn for want of talk to jabber	H2
Of parties o'er our bonnyclabber	H2
Nor are we studious to inquire	H2
Who votes for manors who for hire	H2
Our care is to improve the mind	K3
With what concerns all human kind	K3
The various scenes of mortal life	M3
Who beats her husband who his wife	M3
Or how the bully at a stroke	N3
Knock'd down the boy the lantern broke	N3
One tells the rise of cheese and oatmeal	B3
Another when he got a hot meal	B3
One gives advice in proverbs old	G2
Instructs us how to tame a scold	G2
One shows how bravely Audouin died	K
And at the gallows all denied	K
How by the almanack 'tis clear	H2
That herrings will be cheap this year	H2
T Dear Mullinix I now lament	O3
My precious time so long mispent	O3
By nature meant for nobler ends	W
O introduce me to your friends	W
For whom by birth I was design'd	O3
Till politics debased my mind	O3
I give myself entire to you	B
G d d n the Whigs and Tories too	B