New Year's Parties (prose) Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis
Rhyme Scheme: A B C| Its net oft at aw have mich to do wi' parties Th' fact is aw'm wed an' young fowk dooant want me becoss they say aw've made my markets an' wed fowk dooant oft ax me becoss aw suppose aw dooant oft ax them But this month last year aw did get a invite to a doo an' aw went Aw'st net forget in a hurry what a fidget my owd woman gate into Shoo brushed me daan aboon a duzzen times an' turned me raand like a rooastin jack to see ha aw luk'd woll aw wor as mazy as a wheel heead an' th' childer luk'd up i' my face two or three times afoor they could believe it wor me Aw heeard awr Abram telling Betty 'at he believed his fayther wor gooin to get kursen'd or summat Ho eeah why what are they baan to call him shoo says Nay aw dooant know but my mother's been callin' him 'gaumless ' happen that's it | A |
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| Gaumless enuff aw thowt an' after rubbin' my hat raand wi' a weet sponge woll th' wife declared it wor as hansum as a Japan tea caddy aw set off Aw seized howd o'th' nob when aw gate to th' door an' aw gave a gooid pawse same as aw do at hooam A fine young gentleman oppen'd it an' after starin' at me for two or three minits he said Walk in sur Aw doff'd my hat an' did soa an' he what a smell By gow lad aw said its enuff to mak my maath watter is this ther's nowt awm fonder on nor onions an' aw con smell ther's some cookin' they'll be frying some liver aw dar say Are ta th' maister's lad aw axed Noa sur he said a'wm th' waiter Why tha needn't wait o' me aw said aw'll luk after mysel Come this way sur he said aw'll introduce yo' What name shall aw say sur Does ta think aw am not known aw says nah aw'll tell thi what it is if tha keeps diddlin after me like tha has done sin' aw come in as if tha thowt aw wanted to stail summat awst just twist thi neck raand Th' maister heeard me tawkin an' coom to shake hands wi' me smilin' all ovver his face delightedly He hook'd his arm i' mine an' walked me into a grand raam full o' ladies an' waiters aw made 'em aat to be waiters coss they wor dressed like him 'at stood at th' door This is my old friend the Almenack maker he said an' they all gate up an' sat daan agean When aw luk'd raand aw thowt Aw'm in for it this time for aw could mak it aat to be nowt but a meetin' to kursen a lot o' childer' an' varry likely they wanted me to stand godfayther for 'em Aw saw noa babbies ony where but then aw'd heeard fowk tell abaat th' quality havin' weet nurses for ther bairns an' aw made it aat 'at thease must be um on accaant o'th' way they wor dressed for they wor all i' white an' ther's nowt easier weshed an' aw thowt to mysen Aw'll tell my owd woman to have her gaon made i' th' same pattern when shoo's ony more to suckle for it must save a deal o' trouble an' be for ivver better nor havin' a lot o' hooks an' eyes botherin' abaat th' child's face But thear aw sat an' as noabody said owt to me aw said nowt to noabody In a bit ivery body began pairin' off an' th' maister says Come my friend you must take a lady to dinner an' a reight grand young woman coom an' tuk howd o' mi arm an' we follow'd aat i' prussesshun like they do at a burrin When we gate into th' next raam aw fan aat mi mistak abaat all th' chaps being waiters for they sat daan to th' table same as th' maister an' me soa aw thowt varry likely they wor locals or summat i'th' missionary line Aw niver saw as mich stuff to ait i' all my life except in a cook shop Shall I pass you a little soup said th' maister Noa thank yo aw said aw weshed me afoor aw coom Not soap my good friend I mean soup he said Oh broth is it Aw did'nt know what yo ment Eeah aw'll tak a soop o' broth if yo please an' a bit o' suet dumplin ' if yo have a bit When aw said soa a lot began a cough in' the same as if they'd a boan i' ther throit an' th' maister oppened sich a shop 'at aw thowt th' top ov his heead had come off but aw reckoned to tak noa noatice an' aw worked away wi my gapin' stick woll th' maister axed me ha aw liked my ox tail soup Dun yo call this ox tail soup aw said an' aw beld up a caah tooith ommust big enuff to mak a knife heft Aw thowt it war a gooid joak but noabody else seem'd to see it an' th' mistress ordered th' waiter to tak it away instantum | B |
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| When we'd all etten woll we' wor om most brussen they browt a lot o' black bottles wi' silver necks in an' we'd all a glass o' some sooart o' pop By th' heart an' it wor pop too Dun yo mak this yoursen mistress aw axed By gingo this licks awr traitle drink into fits yo mun give me th' resait if yo have it This is shampane sur shoo said Aw dooant care whether it's sham or not it's as gooid as owt o'th' sooart aw've tasted aw'll thank you for another drop Help yourself my friend said th' maister an aw did aboon a bit but ha long aw wor at it or ha monny bottles aw emptied aw niver knew for some ha aw fell asleep an' when aw wakken'd aw wor at hooam an' my owd wornan wor callin aat Are ta baan'ta get up yond's th' last whew | C |
John Hartley
(1)
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