Fooils (prose) Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis
Rhyme Scheme: A B| Ther's some born fooils an' ther's some mak thersen fooils an' ther's some get made fooils on When we hear fowk tell tales abaat sein' boggards an gettin' ther planets ruled we think it saands fooilish Nah an' then one turns up rayther simple an' a body con hardly help laffin' It's net long sin' aw heeard tell of a owd woman goin' to th' Pooast Office i' Bolton an' axin to see th' maister an when he coom shoo said shoo wanted to know hah monny stamps it 'ud tak' to send a mangle to Yeaworth He couldn't tell her an' shoo went away thinkin' what a fooil he wor net to know his business better nor that an' he thowt what a fooil shoo wor for ax in sich a question An' soa it is we're apt to think iverybody fooils but ussen an' them 'at belangs to us Yo doant oft find a mother or fayther 'at thinks ther lad's a fooil unless he gets wed an then they allus say soa Iverybody's'child is th' grandest an' th' cliverest i'th world But aw couldn't help laffin' one day when I heeard a chap braggin' abaat his lad Aa he said he's cliverest lad of his age aw iver met he's nobbut thirteen year owd an' he con do owt Just as he wor sayin' soa th' lad coom into th' raam aitin' a raw turnip an' his fayther thowt he'd show him off a bit soa he said Jack a want thee to go an' messur th' length o' that piece o' timber 'at's i'th yard an come tell me Soa he gave him his two fooit rule an' th' lad went Aw thowt he wor a long time abaat it but in a bit he coom back Well Jack said his fayther ha long is it spaik up that's a fine lad Why he says it's th' length o' yo'r rule an' my pocket comb an' this piece o' band That's reight said his fayther tha con goa hoam put aw nooaticed 'at be did'nt brag abaat him quite so mitch at after | A |
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| If a chap doesn't want to be thowt a fooil he should niver start o' showin' off befoor fowk till he knows what he's abaat an' ther's noan on us knows iverything Aw remember once go in' to th' sale ov a horse an' th' auctioneer knew varry little abaat cattle an' he began praisin' it up as he thowt Gentlemen he said will you be kind enough to look at this splendid animal examine him gentlemen look at his head why gentlemen it's as big as a churn an' talk about points why it's all points you can hang yo'r hat on any part of him He'd just getten soa far when th' chap 'at belang'd th' horse could bide it noa longer soa be laup'd up an' pooled th' auctioneer daan bith' hair o'th' heead Tha may be an auctioneer he said but tha'rt noa ostler But it isn't long sin' aw wor at a sale o' picturs i'th' Teetotal Hall at Halifax an' th' chap 'at wor sellin' put up one lot an' made this speech Ladies and Gentlemen The next lot I have the pleasure to offer you are three picturs of 'Joan of Arch' a French lady of distinction who fought at the Battle of Waterloo against the Duke of Wellington and was afterwards burnt at the siege of Moscow How much shall I say for this lot Aw walk'd aat when awd heeard that for aw thowt he might happen be a ostler but blow me if he wor fit for an auctioneer But we con forgi' a chap lukkin fooilish sometimes if he doesn't mak' other fowk luk soa but when that chap at Saathawarm put bills up to call a meeting o'th' committee to consider what color to whitewash th' schooil they all felt fooilish A young chap 'at's just popp'd th' question to a young woman feels rayther fooilish if shoo says Noa An' if shoo says Yes he may live to think he wor fooilish A chap feels fooilish when he's been runnin aboon a mile to catch th' train an' just gets thear i' time to see it move off an' leave him A chap feels fooilish when he goas to th' chapel when ther's a collection an' finds he's left th' hawpenny at hooam he thowt o' givin' an's nowt noa less nor hauf a craan A chap feels fooilish if he's been rakein' aat all th' neet an' when he gets hooam his wife finds a woman's neet cap hung to his coit button A chap luks fooilish when he's tellin' a tale an' forgets hah it finishes A woman luks fooilish when shoo's lost her hair pins an' her false bob's hingin' daan her back An' ther are times when we're all fooilish an' awm feeard if aw doant stop yo may begin to think me fooilish soa aw'll drop it | B |
John Hartley
(1)
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