As Cupid, with his band of sprites,
In Paphian grove set things to rights,
And trimmed his bow and tipped his arrows,
And taught, to play with Lesbia, sparrows,
Thus Hymen said: "Your blindness makes,
O Cupid, wonderful mistakes!
You send me such ill-coupled folks:
It grieves me, now, to give them yokes.
An old chap, with his troubles laden,
You bind to a light-hearted maiden;
Or join incongruous minds together,
To squabble for a pin or feather
Until they sue for a divorce;
To which the wife assents - of course."

"It is your fault, and none of mine,"
Cupid replied. "I hearts combine:
You trade in settlements and deeds,
And care not for the heart that bleeds.
You couple them for gold and fee;
Complain of Plutus - not of me."

Then Plutus added: "What can I do? -
The settlement is what they spy to.
Say, does Belinda blame her fate? -
She only asked a great estate.
Doris was rich enough, but humble:
She got a title - does she grumble?
All men want money - not a shoe-tie
Care they for excellence or beauty.
Oh all, my boys, is right enough:
They got the money - hearts is stuff."