Mrs. Mcnair Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

Rhyme Scheme: A BBCBBBC DDDDEEE FFGGHHH IIIBBBJJ BBCC KKKLLGGMMMNN BBOBBOFFPPF NNFNNFQQFRRRPSSPP BBBNNNN TTTBBBBUUUVVVWWBMMXX JJJYYYZZA2A2A2A2A2B2 B2B2 BBBC2C2B2B2B2D2D2E2E 2E2F2G2AAAA2A2 A2A2PPBBAAA AAA2H2H2I2I2I2A2A2A2 A2A2BB A2A2A2J2J2A2A2A2A2A2 A2 K2K2K2FFL2M2A2A2A2N2 N2AAAAAA2A2A2L2M2HHH HHH BBCBCA2A2NNNA2A2 JJJNNBBBJ2J2O2O2O2AA NNNE2L AAAAP2P2Q2AAANNN A2A2A2R2R2A2A2A2NNA2 A2A2 A2HA2A2HBB A2A2A2CCNNNA2A2YYYFF S2S2S2BB A2A2A2A2A2A2A2A2A2A2 A2A2A2 T2T2T2T2BBBJJJFFJ2AA NNNA2A2 CCCA2A2JJJBABBA2A2 T2A2T2A2AABBBNN BBCBCNU2

Misce stultitiam consiliis brevem Horace	A
	-
	-
Mrs McNair	B
Was tall and fair	B
Mrs McNair was slim	C
She had flashing black eyes and raven hair	B
But a very remarkably modest air	B
And her only care was for Mr McNair	B
She was exceedingly fond of him	C
	-
He sold notions and lace	D
With wonderful grace	D
And kept everything neatly displayed in its place	D
The red curly hair on his head and his face	D
He always persisted	E
Should be oiled and twisted	E
He was the sleekest young husband that ever existed	E
	-
Precisely at four	F
He would leave his store	F
And Mr McNair with his modest bride	G
Seated snugly and lovingly by his side	G
On the rural Broadway	H
Every pleasant day	H
In his spick span carriage would rattle away	H
	-
Though it must be allowed	I
The lady was proud	I
She'd have no maid about her the dear lady vowed	I
So for Mr McNair	B
The wear and the fare	B
She made it a care of her own to prepare	B
I think I may guess being married myself	J
That the cause was not solely the saving of pelf	J
	-
As for her I'll declare	B
Though raven her hair	B
Though her eyes were so dark and her body so slim	C
She hadn't a thought for a man but him	C
	-
From three to nine	K
Invited to dine	K
Oft met at the house of the pair divine	K
Her husband and who by the way was well able	L
Did all the agreeable done at the table	L
While she most remarkably loving bride	G
Sat snugly and modestly down by his side	G
And when they went out	M
It was whispered about	M
She's the lovingest wife in the town beyond doubt	M
And every one swore from pastor to clown	N
They were the most affectionate couple in town	N
	-
Yes Mrs McNair	B
Was modest and fair	B
She never fell into a pout or a fret	O
And Mr McNair	B
Was her only care	B
And indeed her only pet	O
The few short hours he spent at his store	F
She spent sewing or reading the romancers' lore	F
And whoever came	P
It was always the same	P
With the modest lady that opened the door	F
	-
But there came to town	N
One Captain Brown	N
To spend a month or more	F
Now this same Captain Brown	N
Was a man of renown	N
And a dashing blue coat he wore	F
And a bright brass star	Q
And a visible scar	Q
On his brow that he said he had got in the war	F
As he led the van	R
He never ran	R
In short he was the General's right hand man	R
And had written his name on the pages of fame	P
He was smooth as an eel	S
And rode so genteel	S
That in less than a week every old maid and dame	P
Was constantly lisping the bold Captain's name	P
	-
Now Mr McNair	B
As well as the fair	B
Had a bump of reverence as big as a pear	B
And whoever like Brown	N
Had a little renown	N
And happened to visit that rural town	N
Was invited of course by McNair to go down	N
	-
So merely by chance	T
The son of the lance	T
Became the bold hero of quite a romance	T
For Mrs McNair thought him wonderful fair	B
And that none but her husband could with him compare	B
Half her timidity vanished in air	B
The first time he dined with herself and McNair	B
Now the Captain was arch	U
In whiskers and starch	U
And preferred now and then a gay waltz to a march	U
A man too he was of uncommon good taste	V
Always at home and never in haste	V
And his manners and speech were remarkably chaste	V
To tell you in short	W
His daily resort	W
He made at the house of his good friend McNair	B
Who 'twas really too bad was so frequently out	M
When the Captain called in just to see him no doubt	M
But Mrs McNair was so lonely too bad	X
So he chatted and chattered and made her look glad	X
And many a view	J
Of his coat of blue	J
All studded with buttons gilt spangled and new	J
The dear lady took	Y
Half askance from her book	Y
As she modestly sat in the opposite nook	Y
Familiarly he	Z
And modestly she	Z
Talked nonsense and sense so strangely commingled	A2
That the dear lady's heart was delighted and tingled	A2
A man of sobriety	A2
Renown and variety	A2
It could not be wrong to enjoy his society	A2
O was it a sin	B2
For him to drop in	B2
And sometimes to pat her in sport on the chin	B2
	-
Dear Ladies beware	B
Dear Ladies take care	B
How you play with a lion asleep in his lair	B
Mere trifling flirtations these arts you employ	C2
Flirtations once led to the siege of old Troy	C2
And a woman was in	B2
For the sorrow and sin	B2
And slaughter that fell when the Greeks tumbled in	B2
Nor is there a doubt my dears under the sun	D2
But they've led to the sack of more cities than one	D2
I would we were all	E2
As pure as Saint Paul	E2
That we touched not the goblet whose lees are but gall	E2
But if so we must know where a flirtation leads	F2
Beware of the fair and look out for our heads	G2
Remember the odious	A
Frail woman Herodias	A
Sent old Baptist John to a place incommodious	A
And prevailed on her husband to cut off his head	A2
For an indiscreet thing the old Nazarite said	A2
	-
Day in and day out	A2
The blue coat was about	A2
And the dear little lady was glad when he came	P
And began to be talkative tender and tame	P
Then he gave her a ring begged a curl of her hair	B
And smilingly whispered her don't tell McNair	B
She dropped her dark eyes	A
And with two little sighs	A
Sent the bold Captain's heart fluttering up to the skies	A
	-
Then alas	A
What a pass	A
He fell at the feet of the lady so sweet	A2
And swore that he loved her beyond his control	H2
With all his humanity body and soul	H2
The lady so frail	I2
Turned suddenly pale	I2
Then sighed that his love was of little avail	I2
For alas the dear Captain he must have forgot	A2
She was tied to McNair with a conjugal knot	A2
But indeed	A2
She agreed	A2
Were she only a maid he alone could succeed	A2
But she prayed him by all that is sacred and fair	B
Not to rouse the suspicion of Mr McNair	B
	-
'Twas really too bad	A2
For the lady was sad	A2
And a terrible night o't the poor lady had	A2
While Mr McNair wondered what was the matter	J2
And endeavored to coax to console and to flatter	J2
Many tears she shed	A2
That night while in bed	A2
For she had such a terrible pain in her head	A2
My dear little pet where's the camphor he said	A2
I'll go for the doctor you'll have to be bled	A2
I declare my dear wife you are just about dead	A2
	-
O no my dear	K2
I pray you don't fear	K2
Though the pain I'll admit is exceeding severe	K2
I know what it is I have had it before	F
It's only neuralgia please go to the store	F
And bring me a bottle of 'Davis's Pain	L2
Killer ' and I shall be better again	M2
He sprang out of bed	A2
And away he sped	A2
In his gown for the cordial to cure her head	A2
Not dreaming that Cupid had played her a trick	N2
The blind little rogue with a sharpened stick	N2
I confess on my knees	A
I have had the disease	A
It is worse than the bites of a thousand fleas	A
And the only cure I have found for these ills	A
Is a double dose of Purgative Pills	A
He rubbed her head	A2
And eased it she said	A2
And he shrugged and shivered and got into bed	A2
He slept and he snored but the poor lady's pain	L2
When her lord slept soundly came on again	M2
It wore away	H
However by day	H
And when Brown called again she was smiling and gay	H
But alas he must say to the lady's dismay	H
In the town of his heart he had staid out his stay	H
And must leave for his regiment with little delay	H
	-
Now Mrs McNair	B
Was tall and fair	B
Mrs McNair was slim	C
But the like of Brown was so wonderful rare	B
That she could not part with him	C
Indeed you can see it was truly a pity	A2
For her husband was just going down to the city	A2
And Captain Brown	N
The man of renown	N
Could console her indeed were he only in town	N
So McNair to the city the next Monday hied	A2
And left bold Captain Brown with his modest young bride	A2
	-
As the serpent did Eve	J
Most sorely deceive	J
Causing old father Adam to sorrow and grieve	J
And us his frail children tho' punished and chidden	N
To hanker for things that are sweet but forbidden	N
The Captain so fair	B
With his genius so rare	B
Wound the web of enchantment round Mrs McNair	B
And alas fickle Helen ere three days were over	J2
She had sworn to elope with her brass buttoned lover	J2
Like Helen the Greek	O2
She was modest and meek	O2
And as fair as a rose but a trifle too weak	O2
When a maid she had suitors as proud as Ulysses	A
But she ne'er bent her neck to their arms or their kisses	A
Till McNair he came in	N
With a brush on his chin	N
It was love at first sight but a trifle too thin	N
For married the dreams of her girlhood fell short all	E2
And she found that her husband was only a mortal	L
	-
Dear ladies betray us	A
Fast and loose play us	A
We'll follow you still like bereaved Menelaus	A
Till the little blind god with his cruel shafts slay us	A
Cold blooded as I am	P2
If a son of old Priam	P2
Should break the Mosaic commands and defy 'em	Q2
And elope with my pet and moreover my riches	A
I would follow the rogue if I went upon crutches	A
To the plains of old Troy without jacket or breeches	A
But then I'm so funny	N
If he'd give up the money	N
He might go to the dogs with himself and his Honey	N
	-
The lovers agreed	A2
That the hazardous deed	A2
Should be done in the dark and with very great speed	A2
For Mr McNair when the fellow came back	R2
Might go crazy and foolishly follow their track	R2
So at midnight should wait	A2
At her garden gate	A2
A carriage to carry the dear precious freight	A2
Of Mrs McNair who should meet Captain Brown	N
At the Globe Hotel in a neighboring town	N
A man should be hired	A2
To convey the admired	A2
And keep mum as a mouse and do what was desired	A2
	-
Wearily wearily half the night	A2
The lady watched away	H
At times in a spirit of sadness quite	A2
But fully resolved on her amorous flight	A2
She longed to be under way	H
Yet with sad heaving heart and a tear I declare	B
As she sorrowfully thought of poor Mr McNair	B
	-
Poor fellow she sighed	A2
I wish he had died	A2
Last spring when he had his complaint in the side	A2
For I know I am sure it will terribly grieve him	C
To have me elope with the Captain and leave him	C
But the Captain dear me	N
I hardly can see	N
Why I love the brave Captain to such a degree	N
But see there's the carriage I vow at the gate	A2
I must go 'tis the law of inveterate fate	A2
So a parting look	Y
At her home she took	Y
While a terrible conflict her timid soul shook	Y
Then turned to the carriage heart stricken and sore	F
Stepped hastily in and closed up the door	F
Crack went the whip	S2
She bit her white lip	S2
And away she flew on her desperate trip	S2
She thought of dear Brown and poor Mr McNair	B
She knew he would hang himself straight in despair	B
	-
She sighed	A2
And she cried	A2
All during the ride	A2
And endeavored alas but she could not decide	A2
Three times she prayed	A2
Three times she essayed	A2
To call to the driver for pity and aid	A2
To drive her straight	A2
To her garden gate	A2
And break the spell of her terrible fate	A2
But her tongue was tied	A2
She couldn't decide	A2
And she only moaned at a wonderful rate	A2
	-
No mortal can tell	T2
What might have befell	T2
Had it been a mile more to the Globe Hotel	T2
But as they approached it she broke from her spell	T2
A single hair	B
For Mr McNair	B
She vowed to herself that she did not care	B
But the Captain so true	J
In his coat of blue	J
To his loving arms in her fancy she flew	J
In a moment or more	F
They drove up to the door	F
And she felt that her trials and troubles were o'er	J2
The landlord came hastily out in his slippers	A
For late he had sat with some smokers and sippers	A
As the lady stepped down	N
With a fret and a frown	N
She sighed half aloud Where is dear Captain Brown	N
This way my dear madam politely he said	A2
And straightway to the parlor the lady he led	A2
	-
Now the light was dim	C
Where she followed him	C
And the dingy old parlor looked gloomy and grim	C
As she entered behold in contemplative mood	A2
In the farther corner the bold Captain stood	A2
In his coat of blue	J
To his arms she flew	J
She buried her face in his bosom so true	J
Dear Captain my Darling sighed Mrs McNair	B
Then she raised her dark eyes and Good Heavens'	A
I declare	B
Instead of the Captain 'twas Mr McNair	B
She threw up her arms she screamed and she fainted	A2
Such a scene Ah the like of it never was painted	A2
	-
Of repentance and pardon I need not tell	T2
Her vows I will not relate	A2
For every man must guess them well	T2
Who knows much of the married state	A2
Of the sad mischance suffice it to say	A
That McNair had suspected the Captain's foul play	A
So he laid a snare	B
For the bold and the fair	B
But he captured alas only Mrs McNair	B
And the brass buttoned lover bold Captain Brown	N
Was nevermore seen in that rural town	N
	-
Mrs McNair	B
Is tall and fair	B
Mrs McNair is slim	C
And her husband again is her only care	B
She is wonderfully fond of him	C
For now he is all the dear lady can wish he	N
Is a captain himself in the State militia	U2

Hanford Lennox Gordon

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