The Diary Of An Old Soul. - December Poem Rhyme Scheme

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George Macdonald

The Diary Of An Old Soul. - December Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

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	A
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I AM a little weary of my life	B
Not thy life blessed Father Or the blood	C
Too slowly laves the coral shores of thought	D
Or I am weary of weariness and strife	B
Open my soul gates to thy living flood	C
I ask not larger heart throbs vigour fraught	D
I pray thy presence with strong patience rife	B
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I will what thou will'st only keep me sure	E
That thou art willing call to me now and then	F
So ceasing to enjoy I shall endure	E
With perfect patience willing beyond my ken	F
Beyond my love beyond my thinking scope	G
Willing to be because thy will is pure	E
Willing thy will beyond all bounds of hope	G
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This weariness of mine may it not come	H
From something that doth need no setting right	I
Shall fruit be blamed if it hang wearily	J
A day before it perfected drop plumb	H
To the sad earth from off its nursing tree	J
Ripeness must always come with loss of might	I
The weary evening fall before the resting night	I
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Hither if I have come through earth and air	K
Through fire and water I am not of them	L
Born in the darkness what fair flashing gem	L
Would to the earth go back and nestle there	K
Not of this world this world my life doth hem	L
What if I weary then and look to the door	M
Because my unknown life is swelling at the core	M
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All winged things came from the waters first	N
Airward still many a one from the water springs	O
In dens and caves wind loving things are nursed	N
I lie like unhatched bird upfolded dumb	H
While all the air is trembling with the hum	H
Of songs and beating hearts and whirring wings	O
That call my slumbering life to wake to happy things	O
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I lay last night and knew not why I was sad	P
'Tis well with God I said and he is the truth	Q
Let that content me 'Tis not strength nor youth	Q
Nor buoyant health nor a heart merry mad	P
That makes the fact of things wherein men live	R
He is the life and doth my life outgive	R
In him there is no gloom but all is solemn glad	P
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I said to myself Lo I lie in a dream	S
Of separation where there comes no sign	T
My waking life is hid with Christ in God	U
Where all is true and potent fact divine	T
I will not heed the thing that doth but seem	S
I will be quiet as lark upon the sod	U
God's will the seed shall rest in me the pod	U
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And when that will shall blossom then my God	U
There will be jubilation in a world	V
The glad lark soaring heavenward from the sod	U
Up the swift spiral of its own song whirled	V
Never such jubilation wild out poured	W
As from my soul will break at thy feet Lord	W
Like a great tide from sea heart shoreward hurled	V
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For then thou wilt be able then at last	X
To glad me as thou hungerest to do	Y
Then shall thy life my heart all open find	Z
A thoroughfare to thy great spirit wind	Z
Then shall I rest within thy holy vast	X
One with the bliss of the eternal mind	Z
And all creation rise in me created new	Y
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What makes thy being a bliss shall then make mind	Z
For I shall love as thou and love in thee	J
Then shall I have whatever I desire	A2
My every faintest wish being all divine	T
Power thou wilt give me to work mightily	J
Even as my Lord leading thy low men nigher	A2
With dance and song to cast their best upon thy fire	A2
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Then shall I live such an essential life	R
That a mere flower will then to me unfold	B2
More bliss than now grandest orchestral strife	R
By love made and obedience humble bold	B2
I shall straight through its window God behold	B2
God I shall feed on thee thy creature blest	C2
With very being work at one with sweetest rest	C2
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	-
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Give me a world to part for praise and sunder	A2
The brooks be bells the winds in caverns dumb	H
Wake fife and flute and flageolet and voice	D2
The fire shook earth itself be the great drum	H
And let the air the region's bass out thunder	A2
The firs be violins the reeds hautboys	D2
Rivers seas icebergs fill the great score up and under	A2
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But rather dost thou hear the blundered words	D2
Of breathing creatures the music lowing herds	D2
Of thy great cattle thy soft bleating sheep	E2
O'erhovered by the trebles of thy birds	D2
Whose Christ praised carelessness song fills the deep	E2
Still rather a child's talk who apart doth hide him	F2
And make a tent for God to come and sit beside him	F2
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This is not life this being is not enough	R
But thou art life and thou hast life for me	J
Thou mad'st the worm to cast the wormy slough	R
And fly abroad a glory flit and flee	J
Thou hast me statue like hewn in the rough	R
Meaning at last to shape me perfectly	J
Lord thou hast called me fourth I turn and call on thee	J
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'Tis thine to make mine to rejoice in thine	T
As hungering for his mother's face and eyes	D2
The child throws wide the door back to the wall	G2
I run to thee the refuge from poor lies	D2
Lean dogs behind me whimper yelp and whine	T
Life lieth ever sick Death's writhing thrall	G2
In slavery endless hopeless and supine	T
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The life that hath not willed itself to be	J
Must clasp the life that willed and be at peace	D2
Or like a leaf wind blown through chaos flee	J
A life husk into which the demons go	H2
And work their will and drive it to and fro	H2
A thing that neither is nor yet can cease	D2
Which uncreation can alone release	D2
	-
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But when I turn and grasp the making hand	I2
And will the making will with confidence	D2
I ride the crest of the creation wave	R
Helpless no more no more existence' slave	R
In the heart of love's creating fire I stand	I2
And love possessed in heart and soul and sense	D2
Take up the making share the making Master gave	R
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That man alone who does the Father's works	D2
Can be the Father's son yea only he	J
Who sonlike can create can ever be	J
Who with God wills not is no son not free	J
O Father send the demon doubt that lurks	D2
Behind the hope out into the abyss	D2
Who trusts in knowledge all its good shall miss	D2
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Thy beasts are sinless and do live before thee	J
Thy child is sinful and must run to thee	J
Thy angels sin not and in peace adore thee	J
But I must will or never more be free	J
I from thy heart came how can I ignore thee	J
Back to my home I hurry haste and flee	J
There I shall dwell love praising evermore thee	J
	-
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My holy self thy pure ideal lies	D2
Calm in thy bosom which it cannot leave	R
My self unholy no ideal hies	D2
Hither and thither gathering store to grieve	R
Not now O Father now it mounts it flies	D2
To join the true self in thy heart that waits	D2
And one with it be one with all the heavenly mates	D2
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Trusting thee Christ I kneel and clasp thy knee	J
Cast myself down and kiss thy brother feet	J2
One self thou and the Father's thought of thee	J
Ideal son thou hast left the perfect home	K2
Ideal brother to seek thy brothers come	H
Thou know'st our angels all God's children sweet	J2
And of each two wilt make one holy child complete	J2
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To a slow end I draw these daily words	D2
Nor think such words often to write again	F
Rather as light the power to me affords	D2
Christ's new and old would to my friends unbind	J2
Through words he spoke help to his thought behind	J2
Unveil the heart with which he drew his men	F
Set forth his rule o'er devils animals corn and wind	J2
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I do remember how one time I thought	J2
God must be lonely oh so lonely lone	L2
I will be very good to him ah nought	J2
Can reach the heart of his great loneliness	D2
My whole heart I will bring him with a moan	L2
That I may not come nearer I will lie prone	L2
Before the awful loveliness in loneliness' excess	D2
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A God must have a God for company	J
And lo thou hast the Son God to thy friend	J2
Thou honour'st his obedience he thy law	M2
Into thy secret life will he doth see	J
Thou fold'st him round in live love perfectly	J
One two without beginning without end	J2
In love life strength and truth perfect without a flaw	M2
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Thou hast not made or taught me Lord to care	A2
For times and seasons but this one glad day	J2
Is the blue sapphire clasping all the lights	D2
That flash in the girdle of the year so fair	A2
When thou wast born a man because alway	N2
Thou wast and art a man through all the flights	D2
Of thought and time and thousandfold creation's play	J2
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We all are lonely Maker each a soul	O2
Shut in by itself a sundered atom of thee	J
No two yet loved themselves into a whole	O2
Even when we weep together we are two	N2
Of two to make one which yet two shall be	J
Is thy creation's problem deep and true	N2
To which thou only hold'st the happy hurting clue	N2
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No less than thou O Father do we need	J2
A God to friend each lonely one of us	D2
As touch not in the sack two grains of seed	J2
Touch no two hearts in great worlds populous	D2
Outside the making God we cannot meet	J2
Him he has made our brother homeward thus	D2
To find our kin we first must turn our wandering feet	J2
	-
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It must be possible that the soul made	J2
Should absolutely meet the soul that makes	D2
Then in that bearing soul meet every other	A2
There also born each sister and each brother	A2
Lord till I meet thee thus life is delayed	J2
I am not I until that morning breaks	D2
Not I until my consciousness eternal wakes	D2
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Again I shall behold thee daughter true	N2
The hour will come when I shall hold thee fast	J2
In God's name loving thee all through and through	N2
Somewhere in his grand thought this waits for us	D2
Then shall I see a smile not like thy last	J2
For that great thing which came when all was past	J2
Was not a smile but God's peace glorious	D2
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Twilight of the transfiguration joy	P2
Gleam faced pure eyed strong willed high hearted boy	P2
Hardly thy life clear forth of heaven was sent	J2
Ere it broke out into a smile and went	J2
So swift thy growth so true thy goalward bent	J2
Thou child and sage inextricably blent	J2
Wilt one day teach thy father in some heavenly tent	J2
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Go my beloved children live your life	R
Wounded faint bleeding never yield the strife	R
Stunned fallen awake arise and fight again	F
Before you victory stands with shining train	Q2
Of hopes not credible until they are	A2
Beyond morass and mountain swells the star	A2
Of perfect love the home of longing heart and brain	Q2