Hints From Horace Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

Rhyme Scheme: AABBCCDDEEFFGG HIJJKK EELLMMNNOP QQRRSS TU VVWWXXYXPP PPXXZA2B2B2PP C2C2D2D2PPE2E2 QQXXXXPPSSXXPPPPXXPP XX PPXXPPMMF2F2XXG2G2H2 H2 I2I2E2E2 XXJ2J2XX DDXXPPPPPPK2K2 XXL2L2YYPPTU XXE2E2M2M2N2N2 D2K2PPYYZZXXO2O2PPXX XXD2K2P2Q2PP XXDR2 S2S2XXT2T2PPXX CCUD2XXPP XXPPMMPPUTXXE2E2U2A2 DDXXPP V2V2W2W2I2I2XXPPPP L2L2PPPPMMX2X2F2F2PP PY2B2B2 UUJ2J2D2D2K2K2 Z2Z2PPPPYYPPXX PPXXI2I2YA3B3B3HHC3C 3D3D3K2D2PPPPE3E3F3F 3SS ZZG3G3XXE2E2PPPPXXPP V2V2F2F2PPPPPP PPH3I3PPL2L2PPPP J3J3XXPPXX PPYA3 XXK3K3J3J3XXXX PPPPPPPPJ3J3PPXXK3K3 F2F2PPL3L3K3K3M3M3PP R2R2PP PPPP M3M3XXXX XXXXXX PPXXQQMMXXN3F2J3J3 PPXX QQXXPP PPPPL3L3XXPPPPPP D2UXXPPL2L2 PPXX XXPPXXJ3J3K3K3 PPK3K3XX XXO3O3XX PPPPE3E3LLXXK3K3PPK3 K3XXE2E2 XXXX PPXXN3N3PPPP XXXX PPPPK3K3XXE3E3J3J3 PPXXF2F2XXQQ P3P3QQQ3Q3 R3R3PP PPXXK3PPPXX L2L2K3K3I3I3 SSL3L3XXS3S3PPJ3J3PP XXXXSS PPPPXXN3N3XXPPPPK3K3 PPJ3J3PPL3L3PPQQPPXX PPXXJ3J3XXPPPPPPA2A2 XX T3T3YYJ3J3PP A2A2PPK3K3PPXXXXPPXX SSK3K3PPXXPPU3U3 YYYYL3L3PPPPPPXXPP PPXXE2E2 XXPP XXXXYYL2L2 XXMMPP PPQQXXPPXXK3K3XXJ2J2 XXG2G2J3J3DDXXPPK3K3 XXPPJ3J3PPV3V3J3J3XX W3W3LLZZPPX3X3XXIIXX Y3Y3XXF3F3D3D3QQXXXX YYXX J3J3PPZ3Z3YYXXPP XXL3L3XXXXXXPP W3W3PPV3V3PPPPK3K3PP S3S3A2A2 XXPPLLPPPP PPXXI2I2XXJ3J3V3V3

Who would not laugh if Lawrence hired to grace	A
His costly canvas with each flattered face	A
Abused his art till Nature with a blush	B
Saw cits grow Centaurs underneath his brush	B
Or should some limner join for show or sale	C
A Maid of Honour to a Mermaid's tail	C
Or low Dubost as once the world has seen	D
Degrade God's creatures in his graphic spleen	D
Not all that forced politeness which defends	E
Fools in their faults could gag his grinning friends	E
Believe me Moschus like that picture seems	F
The book which sillier than a sick man's dreams	F
Displays a crowd of figures incomplete	G
Poetic Nightmares without head or feet	G
	-
Poets and painters as all artists know	H
May shoot a little with a lengthened bow	I
We claim this mutual mercy for our task	J
And grant in turn the pardon which we ask	J
But make not monsters spring from gentle dams	K
Birds breed not vipers tigers nurse not lambs	K
	-
A laboured long Exordium sometimes tends	E
Like patriot speeches but to paltry ends	E
And nonsense in a lofty note goes down	L
As Pertness passes with a legal gown	L
Thus many a Bard describes in pompous strain	M
The clear brook babbling through the goodly plain	M
The groves of Granta and her Gothic halls	N
King's Coll Cam's stream stained windows and old walls	N
Or in adventurous numbers neatly aims	O
To paint a rainbow or the river Thames	P
	-
You sketch a tree and so perhaps may shine	Q
But daub a shipwreck like an alehouse sign	Q
You plan a vase it dwindles to a pot	R
Then glide down Grub street fasting and forgot	R
Laughed into Lethe by some quaint Review	S
Whose wit is never troublesome till true	S
	-
In fine to whatsoever you aspire	T
Let it at least be simple and entire	U
	-
The greater portion of the rhyming tribe	V
Give ear my friend for thou hast been a scribe	V
Are led astray by some peculiar lure	W
I labour to be brief become obscure	W
One falls while following Elegance too fast	X
Another soars inflated with Bombast	X
Too low a third crawls on afraid to fly	Y
He spins his subject to Satiety	X
Absurdly varying he at last engraves	P
Fish in the woods and boars beneath the waves	P
	-
Unless your care's exact your judgment nice	P
The flight from Folly leads but into Vice	P
None are complete all wanting in some part	X
Like certain tailors limited in art	X
For galligaskins Slowshears is your man	Z
But coats must claim another artisan	A2
Now this to me I own seems much the same	B2
As Vulcan's feet to bear Apollo's frame	B2
Or with a fair complexion to expose	P
Black eyes black ringlets but a bottle nose	P
	-
Dear Authors suit your topics to your strength	C2
And ponder well your subject and its length	C2
Nor lift your load before you're quite aware	D2
What weight your shoulders will or will not bear	D2
But lucid Order and Wit's siren voice	P
Await the Poet skilful in his choice	P
With native Eloquence he soars along	E2
Grace in his thoughts and Music in his song	E2
	-
Let Judgment teach him wisely to combine	Q
With future parts the now omitted line	Q
This shall the Author choose or that reject	X
Precise in style and cautious to select	X
Nor slight applause will candid pens afford	X
To him who furnishes a wanting word	X
Then fear not if 'tis needful to produce	P
Some term unknown or obsolete in use	P
As Pitt has furnished us a word or two	S
Which Lexicographers declined to do	S
So you indeed with care but be content	X
To take this license rarely may invent	X
New words find credit in these latter days	P
If neatly grafted on a Gallic phrase	P
What Chaucer Spenser did we scarce refuse	P
To Dryden's or to Pope's maturer Muse	P
If you can add a little say why not	X
As well as William Pitt and Walter Scott	X
Since they by force of rhyme and force of lungs	P
Enriched our Island's ill united tongues	P
'Tis then and shall be lawful to present	X
Reform in writing as in Parliament	X
	-
As forests shed their foliage by degrees	P
So fade expressions which in season please	P
And we and ours alas are due to Fate	X
And works and words but dwindle to a date	X
Though as a Monarch nods and Commerce calls	P
Impetuous rivers stagnate in canals	P
Though swamps subdued and marshes drained sustain	M
The heavy ploughshare and the yellow grain	M
And rising ports along the busy shore	F2
Protect the vessel from old Ocean's roar	F2
All all must perish but surviving last	X
The love of Letters half preserves the past	X
True some decay yet not a few revive	G2
Though those shall sink which now appear to thrive	G2
As Custom arbitrates whose shifting sway	H2
Our life and language must alike obey	H2
	-
The immortal wars which Gods and Angels wage	I2
Are they not shown in Milton's sacred page	I2
His strain will teach what numbers best belong	E2
To themes celestial told in Epic song	E2
	-
The slow sad stanza will correctly paint	X
The Lover's anguish or the Friend's complaint	X
But which deserves the Laurel Rhyme or Blank	J2
Which holds on Helicon the higher rank	J2
Let squabbling critics by themselves dispute	X
This point as puzzling as a Chancery suit	X
	-
Satiric rhyme first sprang from selfish spleen	D
You doubt see Dryden Pope St Patrick's Dean	D
Blank verse is now with one consent allied	X
To Tragedy and rarely quits her side	X
Though mad Almanzor rhymed in Dryden's days	P
No sing song Hero rants in modern plays	P
Whilst modest Comedy her verse foregoes	P
For jest and 'pun' in very middling prose	P
Not that our Bens or Beaumonts show the worse	P
Or lose one point because they wrote in verse	P
But so Thalia pleases to appear	K2
Poor Virgin damned some twenty times a year	K2
	-
Whate'er the scene let this advice have weight	X
Adapt your language to your Hero's state	X
At times Melpomene forgets to groan	L2
And brisk Thalia takes a serious tone	L2
Nor unregarded will the act pass by	Y
Where angry Townly lifts his voice on high	Y
Again our Shakespeare limits verse to Kings	P
When common prose will serve for common things	P
And lively Hal resigns heroic ire	T
To hollaing Hotspur and his sceptred sire	U
	-
'Tis not enough ye Bards with all your art	X
To polish poems they must touch the heart	X
Where'er the scene be laid whate'er the song	E2
Still let it bear the hearer's soul along	E2
Command your audience or to smile or weep	M2
Whiche'er may please you anything but sleep	M2
The Poet claims our tears but by his leave	N2
Before I shed them let me see 'him' grieve	N2
	-
If banished Romeo feigned nor sigh nor tear	D2
Lulled by his languor I could sleep or sneer	K2
Sad words no doubt become a serious face	P
And men look angry in the proper place	P
At double meanings folks seem wondrous sly	Y
And Sentiment prescribes a pensive eye	Y
For Nature formed at first the inward man	Z
And actors copy Nature when they can	Z
She bids the beating heart with rapture bound	X
Raised to the Stars or levelled with the ground	X
And for Expression's aid 'tis said or sung	O2
She gave our mind's interpreter the tongue	O2
Who worn with use of late would fain dispense	P
At least in theatres with common sense	P
O'erwhelm with sound the Boxes Gallery Pit	X
And raise a laugh with anything but Wit	X
	-
To skilful writers it will much import	X
Whence spring their scenes from common life or Court	X
Whether they seek applause by smile or tear	D2
To draw a Lying Valet or a Lear	K2
A sage or rakish youngster wild from school	P2
A wandering Peregrine or plain John Bull	Q2
All persons please when Nature's voice prevails	P
Scottish or Irish born in Wilts or Wales	P
	-
Or follow common fame or forge a plot	X
Who cares if mimic heroes lived or not	X
One precept serves to regulate the scene	D
Make it appear as if it might have been	R2
	-
If some Drawcansir you aspire to draw	S2
Present him raving and above all law	S2
If female furies in your scheme are planned	X
Macbeth's fierce dame is ready to your hand	X
For tears and treachery for good and evil	T2
Constance King Richard Hamlet and the Devil	T2
But if a new design you dare essay	P
And freely wander from the beaten way	P
True to your characters till all be past	X
Preserve consistency from first to last	X
	-
Tis hard to venture where our betters fail	C
Or lend fresh interest to a twice told tale	C
And yet perchance 'tis wiser to prefer	U
A hackneyed plot than choose a new and err	D2
Yet copy not too closely but record	X
More justly thought for thought than word for word	X
Nor trace your Prototype through narrow ways	P
But only follow where he merits praise	P
	-
For you young Bard whom luckless fate may lead	X
To tremble on the nod of all who read	X
Ere your first score of cantos Time unrolls	P
Beware for God's sake don't begin like Bowles	P
Awake a louder and a loftier strain	M
And pray what follows from his boiling brain	M
He sinks to Southey's level in a trice	P
Whose Epic Mountains never fail in mice	P
Not so of yore awoke your mighty Sire	U
The tempered warblings of his master lyre	T
Soft as the gentler breathing of the lute	X
Of Man's first disobedience and the fruit	X
He speaks but as his subject swells along	E2
Earth Heaven and Hades echo with the song	E2
Still to the midst of things he hastens on	U2
As if we witnessed all already done	A2
Leaves on his path whatever seems too mean	D
To raise the subject or adorn the scene	D
Gives as each page improves upon the sight	X
Not smoke from brightness but from darkness light	X
And truth and fiction with such art compounds	P
We know not where to fix their several bounds	P
	-
If you would please the Public deign to hear	V2
What soothes the many headed monster's ear	V2
If your heart triumph when the hands of all	W2
Applaud in thunder at the curtain's fall	W2
Deserve those plaudits study Nature's page	I2
And sketch the striking traits of every age	I2
While varying Man and varying years unfold	X
Life's little tale so oft so vainly told	X
Observe his simple childhood's dawning days	P
His pranks his prate his playmates and his plays	P
Till time at length the mannish tyro weans	P
And prurient vice outstrips his tardy teens	P
	-
Behold him Freshman forced no more to groan	L2
O'er Virgil's devilish verses and his own	L2
Prayers are too tedious Lectures too abstruse	P
He flies from Tavell's frown to Fordham's Mews	P
Unlucky Tavell doomed to daily cares	P
By pugilistic pupils and by bears	P
Fines Tutors tasks Conventions threat in vain	M
Before hounds hunters and Newmarket Plain	M
Rough with his elders with his equals rash	X2
Civil to sharpers prodigal of cash	X2
Constant to nought save hazard and a whore	F2
Yet cursing both for both have made him sore	F2
Unread unless since books beguile disease	P
The P x becomes his passage to Degrees	P
Fooled pillaged dunned he wastes his terms away	P
And unexpelled perhaps retires M A	Y2
Master of Arts as hells and clubs proclaim	B2
Where scarce a blackleg bears a brighter name	B2
	-
Launched into life extinct his early fire	U
He apes the selfish prudence of his Sire	U
Marries for money chooses friends for rank	J2
Buys land and shrewdly trusts not to the Bank	J2
Sits in the Senate gets a son and heir	D2
Sends him to Harrow for himself was there	D2
Mute though he votes unless when called to cheer	K2
His son's so sharp he'll see the dog a Peer	K2
	-
Manhood declines Age palsies every limb	Z2
He quits the scene or else the scene quits him	Z2
Scrapes wealth o'er each departing penny grieves	P
And Avarice seizes all Ambition leaves	P
Counts cent per cent and smiles or vainly frets	P
O'er hoards diminished by young Hopeful's debts	P
Weighs well and wisely what to sell or buy	Y
Complete in all life's lessons but to die	Y
Peevish and spiteful doting hard to please	P
Commending every time save times like these	P
Crazed querulous forsaken half forgot	X
Expires unwept is buried Let him rot	X
	-
But from the Drama let me not digress	P
Nor spare my precepts though they please you less	P
Though Woman weep and hardest hearts are stirred	X
When what is done is rather seen than heard	X
Yet many deeds preserved in History's page	I2
Are better told than acted on the stage	I2
The ear sustains what shocks the timid eye	Y
And Horror thus subsides to Sympathy	A3
True Briton all beside I here am French	B3
Bloodshed 'tis surely better to retrench	B3
The gladiatorial gore we teach to flow	H
In tragic scenes disgusts though but in show	H
We hate the carnage while we see the trick	C3
And find small sympathy in being sick	C3
Not on the stage the regicide Macbeth	D3
Appals an audience with a Monarch's death	D3
To gaze when sable Hubert threats to sear	K2
Young Arthur's eyes can ours or Nature bear	D2
A haltered heroine Johnson sought to slay	P
We saved Irene but half damned the play	P
And Heaven be praised our tolerating times	P
Stint Metamorphoses to Pantomimes	P
And Lewis' self with all his sprites would quake	E3
To change Earl Osmond's negro to a snake	E3
Because in scenes exciting joy or grief	F3
We loathe the action which exceeds belief	F3
And yet God knows what may not authors do	S
Whose Postscripts prate of dyeing heroines blue	S
	-
Above all things Dan Poet if you can	Z
Eke out your acts I pray with mortal man	Z
Nor call a ghost unless some cursed scrape	G3
Must open ten trap doors for your escape	G3
Of all the monstrous things I'd fain forbid	X
I loathe an Opera worse than Dennis did	X
Where good and evil persons right or wrong	E2
Rage love and aught but moralise in song	E2
Hail last memorial of our foreign friends	P
Which Gaul allows and still Hesperia lends	P
Napoleon's edicts no embargo lay	P
On whores spies singers wisely shipped away	P
Our giant Capital whose squares are spread	X
Where rustics earned and now may beg their bread	X
In all iniquity is grown so nice	P
It scorns amusements which are not of price	P
Hence the pert shopkeeper whose throbbing ear	V2
Aches with orchestras which he pays to hear	V2
Whom shame not sympathy forbids to snore	F2
His anguish doubling by his own encore	F2
Squeezed in Fop's Alley jostled by the beaux	P
Teased with his hat and trembling for his toes	P
Scarce wrestles through the night nor tastes of ease	P
Till the dropped curtain gives a glad release	P
Why this and more he suffers can ye guess	P
Because it costs him dear and makes him dress	P
	-
So prosper eunuchs from Etruscan schools	P
Give us but fiddlers and they're sure of fools	P
Ere scenes were played by many a reverend clerk	H3
What harm if David danced before the ark	I3
In Christmas revels simple country folks	P
Were pleased with morrice mumm'ry and coarse jokes	P
Improving years with things no longer known	L2
Produced blithe Punch and merry Madame Joan	L2
Who still frisk on with feats so lewdly low	P
'Tis strange Benvolio suffers such a show	P
Suppressing peer to whom each vice gives place	P
Oaths boxing begging all save rout and race	P
	-
Farce followed Comedy and reached her prime	J3
In ever laughing Foote's fantastic time	J3
Mad wag who pardoned none nor spared the best	X
And turned some very serious things to jest	X
Nor Church nor State escaped his public sneers	P
Arms nor the Gown Priests Lawyers Volunteers	P
Alas poor Yorick now for ever mute	X
Whoever loves a laugh must sigh for Foote	X
	-
We smile perforce when histrionic scenes	P
Ape the swoln dialogue of Kings and Queens	P
When Crononhotonthologos must die	Y
And Arthur struts in mimic majesty	A3
	-
Moschus with whom once more I hope to sit	X
And smile at folly if we can't at wit	X
Yes Friend for thee I'll quit my cynic cell	K3
And bear Swift's motto Vive la bagatelle	K3
Which charmed our days in each gean clime	J3
As oft at home with revelry and rhyme	J3
Then may Euphrosyne who sped the past	X
Soothe thy Life's scenes nor leave thee in the last	X
But find in thine like pagan Plato's bed	X
Some merry Manuscript of Mimes when dead	X
	-
Now to the Drama let us bend our eyes	P
Where fettered by whig Walpole low she lies	P
Corruption foiled her for she feared her glance	P
Decorum left her for an Opera dance	P
Yet Chesterfield whose polished pen inveighs	P
'Gainst laughter fought for freedom to our Plays	P
Unchecked by Megrims of patrician brains	P
And damning Dulness of Lord Chamberlains	P
Repeal that act again let Humour roam	J3
Wild o'er the stage we've time for tears at home	J3
Let Archer plant the horns on Sullen's brows	P
And Estifania gull her Copper spouse	P
The moral's scant but that may be excused	X
Men go not to be lectured but amused	X
He whom our plays dispose to Good or Ill	K3
Must wear a head in want of Willis' skill	K3
Aye but Macheath's example psha no more	F2
It formed no thieves the thief was formed before	F2
And spite of puritans and Collier's curse	P
Plays make mankind no better and no worse	P
Then spare our stage ye methodistic men	L3
Nor burn damned Drury if it rise again	L3
But why to brain scorched bigots thus appeal	K3
Can heavenly Mercy dwell with earthly Zeal	K3
For times of fire and faggot let them hope	M3
Times dear alike to puritan or Pope	M3
As pious Calvin saw Servetus blaze	P
So would new sects on newer victims gaze	P
E'en now the songs of Solyma begin	R2
Faith cants perplexed apologist of Sin	R2
While the Lord's servant chastens whom he loves	P
And Simeon kicks where Baxter only shoves	P
	-
Whom Nature guides so writes that every dunce	P
Enraptured thinks to do the same at once	P
But after inky thumbs and bitten nails	P
And twenty scattered quires the coxcomb fails	P
	-
Let Pastoral be dumb for who can hope	M3
To match the youthful eclogues of our Pope	M3
Yet his and Philips' faults of different kind	X
For Art too rude for Nature too refined	X
Instruct how hard the medium 'tis to hit	X
'Twixt too much polish and too coarse a wit	X
	-
A vulgar scribbler certes stands disgraced	X
In this nice age when all aspire to taste	X
The dirty language and the noisome jest	X
Which pleased in Swift of yore we now detest	X
Proscribed not only in the world polite	X
But even too nasty for a City Knight	X
	-
Peace to Swift's faults his wit hath made them pass	P
Unmatched by all save matchless Hudibras	P
Whose author is perhaps the first we meet	X
Who from our couplet lopped two final feet	X
Nor less in merit than the longer line	Q
This measure moves a favourite of the Nine	Q
Though at first view eight feet may seem in vain	M
Formed save in Ode to bear a serious strain	M
Yet Scott has shown our wondering isle of late	X
This measure shrinks not from a theme of weight	X
And varied skilfully surpasses far	N3
Heroic rhyme but most in Love and War	F2
Whose fluctuations tender or sublime	J3
Are curbed too much by long recurring rhyme	J3
	-
But many a skilful judge abhors to see	P
What few admire irregularity	P
This some vouchsafe to pardon but 'tis hard	X
When such a word contents a British Bard	X
	-
And must the Bard his glowing thoughts confine	Q
Lest Censure hover o'er some faulty line	Q
Remove whate'er a critic may suspect	X
To gain the paltry suffrage of Correct	X
Or prune the spirit of each daring phrase	P
To fly from Error not to merit Praise	P
	-
Ye who seek finished models never cease	P
By day and night to read the works of Greece	P
But our good Fathers never bent their brains	P
To heathen Greek content with native strains	P
The few who read a page or used a pen	L3
Were satisfied with Chaucer and old Ben	L3
The jokes and numbers suited to their taste	X
Were quaint and careless anything but chaste	X
Yet whether right or wrong the ancient rules	P
It will not do to call our Fathers fools	P
Though you and I who eruditely know	P
To separate the elegant and low	P
Can also when a hobbling line appears	P
Detect with fingers in default of ears	P
	-
In sooth I do not know or greatly care	D2
To learn who our first English strollers were	U
Or if till roofs received the vagrant art	X
Our Muse like that of Thespis kept a cart	X
But this is certain since our Shakespeare's days	P
There's pomp enough if little else in plays	P
Nor will Melpomene ascend her Throne	L2
Without high heels white plume and Bristol stone	L2
	-
Old Comedies still meet with much applause	P
Though too licentious for dramatic laws	P
At least we moderns wisely 'tis confest	X
Curtail or silence the lascivious jest	X
	-
Whate'er their follies and their faults beside	X
Our enterprising Bards pass nought untried	X
Nor do they merit slight applause who choose	P
An English subject for an English Muse	P
And leave to minds which never dare invent	X
French flippancy and German sentiment	X
Where is that living language which could claim	J3
Poetic more as philosophic fame	J3
If all our Bards more patient of delay	K3
Would stop like Pope to polish by the way	K3
	-
Lords of the quill whose critical assaults	P
O'erthrow whole quartos with their quires of faults	P
Who soon detect and mark where'er we fail	K3
And prove our marble with too nice a nail	K3
Democritus himself was not so bad	X
He only 'thought' but 'you' would make us mad	X
	-
But truth to say most rhymers rarely guard	X
Against that ridicule they deem so hard	X
In person negligent they wear from sloth	O3
Beards of a week and nails of annual growth	O3
Reside in garrets fly from those they meet	X
And walk in alleys rather than the street	X
	-
With little rhyme less reason if you please	P
The name of Poet may be got with ease	P
So that not tuns of helleboric juice	P
Shall ever turn your head to any use	P
Write but like Wordsworth live beside a lake	E3
And keep your bushy locks a year from Blake	E3
Then print your book once more return to town	L
And boys shall hunt your Bardship up and down	L
Am I not wise if such some poets' plight	X
To purge in spring like Bayes before I write	X
If this precaution softened not my bile	K3
I know no scribbler with a madder style	K3
But since perhaps my feelings are too nice	P
I cannot purchase Fame at such a price	P
I'll labour gratis as a grinders' wheel	K3
And blunt myself give edge to other's steel	K3
Nor write at all unless to teach the art	X
To those rehearsing for the Poet's part	X
From Horace show the pleasing paths of song	E2
And from my own example what is wrong	E2
	-
Though modern practice sometimes differs quite	X
'Tis just as well to think before you write	X
Let every book that suits your theme be read	X
So shall you trace it to the fountain head	X
	-
He who has learned the duty which he owes	P
To friends and country and to pardon foes	P
Who models his deportment as may best	X
Accord with Brother Sire or Stranger guest	X
Who takes our Laws and Worship as they are	N3
Nor roars reform for Senate Church and Bar	N3
In practice rather than loud precept wise	P
Bids not his tongue but heart philosophize	P
Such is the man the Poet should rehearse	P
As joint exemplar of his life and verse	P
	-
Sometimes a sprightly wit and tale well told	X
Without much grace or weight or art will hold	X
A longer empire o'er the public mind	X
Than sounding trifles empty though refined	X
	-
Unhappy Greece thy sons of ancient days	P
The Muse may celebrate with perfect praise	P
Whose generous children narrowed not their hearts	P
With Commerce given alone to Arms and Arts	P
Our boys save those whom public schools compel	K3
To Long and Short before they're taught to spell	K3
From frugal fathers soon imbibe by rote	X
A penny saved my lad 's a penny got	X
Babe of a city birth from sixpence take	E3
The third how much will the remainder make	E3
A groat Ah bravo Dick hath done the sum	J3
He'll swell my fifty thousand to a Plum	J3
	-
They whose young souls receive this rust betimes	P
'Tis clear are fit for anything but rhymes	P
And Locke will tell you that the father's right	X
Who hides all verses from his children's sight	X
For Poets says this Sage and many more	F2
Make sad mechanics with their lyric lore	F2
And Delphi now however rich of old	X
Discovers little silver and less gold	X
Because Parnassus though a Mount divine	Q
Is poor as Irus or an Irish mine	Q
	-
Two objects always should the Poet move	P3
Or one or both to please or to improve	P3
Whate'er you teach be brief if you design	Q
For our remembrance your didactic line	Q
Redundance places Memory on the rack	Q3
For brains may be o'erloaded like the back	Q3
	-
Fiction does best when taught to look like Truth	R3
And fairy fables bubble none but youth	R3
Expect no credit for too wondrous tales	P
Since Jonas only springs alive from Whales	P
	-
Young men with aught but Elegance dispense	P
Maturer years require a little Sense	P
To end at once that Bard for all is fit	X
Who mingles well instruction with his wit	X
For him Reviews shall smile for him o'erflow	K3
The patronage of Paternoster row	P
His book with Longman's liberal aid shall pass	P
Who ne'er despises books that bring him brass	P
Through three long weeks the taste of London lead	X
And cross St George's Channel and the Tweed	X
	-
But every thing has faults nor is't unknown	L2
That harps and fiddles often lose their tone	L2
And wayward voices at their owner's call	K3
With all his best endeavours only squall	K3
Dogs blink their covey flints withhold the spark	I3
And double barrels damn them miss their mark	I3
	-
Where frequent beauties strike the reader's view	S
We must not quarrel for a blot or two	S
But pardon equally to books or men	L3
The slips of Human Nature and the Pen	L3
Yet if an author spite of foe or friend	X
Despises all advice too much to mend	X
But ever twangs the same discordant string	S3
Give him no quarter howsoe'er he sing	S3
Let Havard's fate o'ertake him who for once	P
Produced a play too dashing for a dunce	P
At first none deemed it his but when his name	J3
Announced the fact what then it lost its fame	J3
Though all deplore when Milton deigns to doze	P
In a long work 'tis fair to steal repose	P
	-
As Pictures so shall Poems be some stand	X
The critic eye and please when near at hand	X
But others at a distance strike the sight	X
This seeks the shade but that demands the light	X
Nor dreads the connoisseur's fastidious view	S
But ten times scrutinised is ten times new	S
	-
Parnassian pilgrims ye whom chance or choice	P
Hath led to listen to the Muse's voice	P
Receive this counsel and be timely wise	P
Few reach the Summit which before you lies	P
Our Church and State our Courts and Camps concede	X
Reward to very moderate heads indeed	X
In these plain common sense will travel far	N3
All are not Erskines who mislead the Bar	N3
But Poesy between the best and worst	X
No medium knows you must be last or first	X
For middling Poets' miserable volumes	P
Are damned alike by Gods and Men and Columns	P
Again my Jeffrey as that sound inspires	P
How wakes my bosom to its wonted fires	P
Fires such as gentle Caledonians feel	K3
When Southrons writhe upon their critic wheel	K3
Or mild Eclectics when some worse than Turks	P
Would rob poor Faith to decorate Good Works	P
Such are the genial feelings them canst claim	J3
My Falcon flies not at ignoble game	J3
Mightiest of all Dunedin's beasts of chase	P
For thee my Pegasus would mend his pace	P
Arise my Jeffrey or my inkless pen	L3
Shall never blunt its edge on meaner men	L3
Till thee or thine mine evil eye discerns	P
Alas I cannot strike at wretched kernes	P
Inhuman Saxon wilt thou then resign	Q
A Muse and heart by choice so wholly thine	Q
Dear d d contemner of my schoolboy songs	P
Hast thou no vengeance for my Manhood's wrongs	P
If unprovoked thou once could bid me bleed	X
Hast thou no weapon for my daring deed	X
What not a word and am I then so low	P
Wilt thou forbear who never spared a foe	P
Hast thou no wrath or wish to give it vent	X
No wit for Nobles Dunces by descent	X
No jest on minors quibbles on a name	J3
Nor one facetious paragraph of blame	J3
Is it for this on Ilion I have stood	X
And thought of Homer less than Holyrood	X
On shore of Euxine or gean sea	P
My hate untravelled fondly turned to thee	P
Ah let me cease in vain my bosom burns	P
From Corydon unkind Alexis turns	P
Thy rhymes are vain thy Jeffrey then forego	P
Nor woo that anger which he will not show	P
What then Edina starves some lanker son	A2
To write an article thou canst not shun	A2
Some less fastidious Scotchman shall be found	X
As bold in Billingsgate though less renowned	X
	-
As if at table some discordant dish	T3
Should shock our optics such as frogs for fish	T3
As oil in lieu of butter men decry	Y
And poppies please not in a modern pie	Y
If all such mixtures then be half a crime	J3
We must have Excellence to relish rhyme	J3
Mere roast and boiled no Epicure invites	P
Thus Poetry disgusts or else delights	P
	-
Who shoot not flying rarely touch a gun	A2
Will he who swims not to the river run	A2
And men unpractised in exchanging knocks	P
Must go to Jackson ere they dare to box	P
Whate'er the weapon cudgel fist or foil	K3
None reach expertness without years of toil	K3
But fifty dunces can with perfect ease	P
Tag twenty thousand couplets when they please	P
Why not shall I thus qualified to sit	X
For rotten boroughs never show my wit	X
Shall I whose fathers with the Quorum sate	X
And lived in freedom on a fair estate	X
Who left me heir with stables kennels packs	P
To 'all' their income and to 'twice' its tax	P
Whose form and pedigree have scarce a fault	X
Shall I I say suppress my Attic Salt	X
	-
Thus think the Mob of Gentlemen but you	S
Besides all this must have some Genius too	S
Be this your sober judgment and a rule	K3
And print not piping hot from Southey's school	K3
Who ere another Thalaba appears	P
I trust will spare us for at least nine years	P
And hark'ye Southey pray but don't be vexed	X
Burn all your last three works and half the next	X
But why this vain advice once published books	P
Can never be recalled from pastry cooks	P
Though Madoc with Pucelle instead of Punk	U3
May travel back to Quito on a trunk	U3
	-
Orpheus we learn from Ovid and Lempriere	Y
Led all wild beasts but Women by the ear	Y
And had he fiddled at the present hour	Y
We'd seen the Lions waltzing in the Tower	Y
And old Amphion such were minstrels then	L3
Had built St Paul's without the aid of Wren	L3
Verse too was Justice and the Bards of Greece	P
Did more than constables to keep the peace	P
Abolished cuckoldom with much applause	P
Called county meetings and enforced the laws	P
Cut down crown influence with reforming scythes	P
And served the Church without demanding tithes	P
And hence throughout all Hellas and the East	X
Each Poet was a Prophet and a Priest	X
Whose old established Board of Joint Controls	P
Included kingdoms in the cure of souls	P
	-
Next rose the martial Homer Epic's prince	P
And Fighting's been in fashion ever since	P
And old Tyrt us when the Spartans warred	X
A limping leader but a lofty bard	X
Though walled Ithome had resisted long	E2
Reduced the fortress by the force of song	E2
	-
When Oracles prevailed in times of old	X
In song alone Apollo's will was told	X
Then if your verse is what all verse should be	P
And Gods were not ashamed on't why should we	P
	-
The Muse like mortal females may be wooed	X
In turns she'll seem a Paphian or a prude	X
Fierce as a bride when first she feels affright	X
Mild as the same upon the second night	X
Wild as the wife of Alderman or Peer	Y
Now for His Grace and now a grenadier	Y
Her eyes beseem her heart belies her zone	L2
Ice in a crowd and Lava when alone	L2
	-
If Verse be studied with some show of Art	X
Kind Nature always will perform her part	X
Though without Genius and a native vein	M
Of wit we loathe an artificial strain	M
Yet Art and Nature joined will win the prize	P
Unless they act like us and our allies	P
	-
The youth who trains to ride or run a race	P
Must bear privations with unruffled face	P
Be called to labour when he thinks to dine	Q
And harder still leave wenching and his wine	Q
Ladies who sing at least who sing at sight	X
Have followed Music through her farthest flight	X
But rhymers tell you neither more nor less	P
I've got a pretty poem for the Press	P
And that's enough then write and print so fast	X
If Satan take the hindmost who'd be last	X
They storm the Types they publish one and all	K3
They leap the counter and they leave the stall	K3
Provincial Maidens men of high command	X
Yea Baronets have inked the bloody hand	X
Cash cannot quell them Pollio played this prank	J2
Then Phoebus first found credit in a Bank	J2
Not all the living only but the dead	X
Fool on as fluent as an Orpheus' Head	X
Damned all their days they posthumously thrive	G2
Dug up from dust though buried when alive	G2
Reviews record this epidemic crime	J3
Those Books of Martyrs to the rage for rhyme	J3
Alas woe worth the scribbler often seen	D
In Morning Post or Monthly Magazine	D
There lurk his earlier lays but soon hot pressed	X
Behold a Quarto Tarts must tell the rest	X
Then leave ye wise the Lyre's precarious chords	P
To muse mad baronets or madder lords	P
Or country Crispins now grown somewhat stale	K3
Twin Doric minstrels drunk with Doric ale	K3
Hark to those notes narcotically soft	X
The Cobbler Laureats sing to Capel Lofft	X
Till lo that modern Midas as he hears	P
Adds an ell growth to his egregious ears	P
There lives one Druid who prepares in time	J3
'Gainst future feuds his poor revenge of rhyme	J3
Racks his dull Memory and his duller Muse	P
To publish faults which Friendship should excuse	P
If Friendship's nothing Self regard might teach	V3
More polished usage of his parts of speech	V3
But what is shame or what is aught to him	J3
He vents his spleen or gratifies his whim	J3
Some fancied slight has roused his lurking hate	X
Some folly crossed some jest or some debate	X
Up to his den Sir Scribbler hies and soon	W3
The gathered gall is voided in Lampoon	W3
Perhaps at some pert speech you've dared to frown	L
Perhaps your Poem may have pleased the Town	L
If so alas 'tis nature in the man	Z
May Heaven forgive you for he never can	Z
Then be it so and may his withering Bays	P
Bloom fresh in satire though they fade in praise	P
While his lost songs no more shall steep and stink	X3
The dullest fattest weeds on Lethe's brink	X3
But springing upwards from the sluggish mould	X
Be what they never were before be sold	X
Should some rich Bard but such a monster now	I
In modern Physics we can scarce allow	I
Should some pretending scribbler of the Court	X
Some rhyming Peer there's plenty of the sort	X
All but one poor dependent priest withdrawn	Y3
Ah too regardless of his Chaplain's yawn	Y3
Condemn the unlucky Curate to recite	X
Their last dramatic work by candle light	X
How would the preacher turn each rueful leaf	F3
Dull as his sermons but not half so brief	F3
Yet since 'tis promised at the Rector's death	D3
He'll risk no living for a little breath	D3
Then spouts and foams and cries at every line	Q
The Lord forgive him Bravo Grand Divine	Q
Hoarse with those praises which by Flatt'ry fed	X
Dependence barters for her bitter bread	X
He strides and stamps along with creaking boot	X
Till the floor echoes his emphatic foot	X
Then sits again then rolls his pious eye	Y
As when the dying vicar will not die	Y
Nor feels forsooth emotion at his heart	X
But all Dissemblers overact their part	X
	-
Ye who aspire to build the lofty rhyme	J3
Believe not all who laud your false sublime	J3
But if some friend shall hear your work and say	P
Expunge that stanza lop that line away	P
And after fruitless efforts you return	Z3
Without amendment and he answers Burn	Z3
That instant throw your paper in the fire	Y
Ask not his thoughts or follow his desire	Y
But if true Bard you scorn to condescend	X
And will not alter what you can't defend	X
If you will breed this Bastard of your Brains	P
We'll have no words I've only lost my pains	P
	-
Yet if you only prize your favourite thought	X
As critics kindly do and authors ought	X
If your cool friend annoy you now and then	L3
And cross whole pages with his plaguy pen	L3
No matter throw your ornaments aside	X
Better let him than all the world deride	X
Give light to passages too much in shade	X
Nor let a doubt obscure one verse you've made	X
Your friend's a Johnson not to leave one word	X
However trifling which may seem absurd	X
Such erring trifles lead to serious ills	P
And furnish food for critics or their quills	P
	-
As the Scotch fiddle with its touching tune	W3
Or the sad influence of the angry Moon	W3
All men avoid bad writers' ready tongues	P
As yawning waiters fly Fitzscribble's lungs	P
Yet on he mouths ten minutes tedious each	V3
As Prelate's homily or placeman's speech	V3
Long as the last years of a lingering lease	P
When Riot pauses until Rents increase	P
While such a minstrel muttering fustian strays	P
O'er hedge and ditch through unfrequented ways	P
If by some chance he walks into a well	K3
And shouts for succour with stentorian yell	K3
A rope help Christians as ye hope for grace	P
Nor woman man nor child will stir a pace	P
For there his carcass he might freely fling	S3
From frenzy or the humour of the thing	S3
Though this has happened to more Bards than one	A2
I'll tell you Budgell's story and have done	A2
	-
Budgell a rogue and rhymester for no good	X
Unless his case be much misunderstood	X
When teased with creditors' continual claims	P
To die like Cato leapt into the Thames	P
And therefore be it lawful through the town	L
For any Bard to poison hang or drown	L
Who saves the intended Suicide receives	P
Small thanks from him who loathes the life he leaves	P
And sooth to say mad poets must not lose	P
The Glory of that death they freely choose	P
	-
Nor is it certain that some sorts of verse	P
Prick not the Poet's conscience as a curse	P
Dosed with vile drams on Sunday he was found	X
Or got a child on consecrated ground	X
And hence is haunted with a rhyming rage	I2
Feared like a bear just bursting from his cage	I2
If free all fly his versifying fit	X
Fatal at once to Simpleton or Wit	X
But 'him' unhappy whom he seizes 'him'	J3
He flays with Recitation limb by limb	J3
Probes to the quick where'er he makes his breach	V3
And gorges like a Lawyer or a Leech	V3

George Gordon Lord Byron

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