My Night-gown And Slippers Poem Rhyme Scheme

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TOM DICK and WILL were little known to Fame	A
No matter	B
But to the Ale house oftentimes they came	A
To chatter	B
	-
It was the custom of these three	C
To sit up late	D
And o'er the embers of the Ale house fire	B
When steadier customers retire	E
The choice Triumviri d'ye see	C
Held a debate	D
	-
Held a debate On politicks no doubt	F
Not so they care'd not who was in	G
No not a pin	G
Nor who was out	F
	-
All their discourse on modern Poets ran	H
For in the Muses was their sole delight	I
They talk'd of such and such and such a man	H
Of those who could and those who could not write	I
	-
It cost them very little pains	J
To count the modern Poets who had brains	J
'Twas a small difficulty 'twasn't any	C
They were so few	K
But to cast up the scores of men	L
Who wield a stump they call a pen	L
Lord they had much to do	K
They were so many	C
	-
Buoy'd on a sea of fancy Genius rises	M
And like the rare Leviathan surprises	N
But the small fry of scribblers tiny souls	O
They wriggle thro' the mud in shoals	O
	-
It would have raise'd a smile to see the faces	M
They made and the ridiculous grimaces	N
At many an author as they overhaul'd him	P
They gave no quarter to a calf	Q
Blown up with puff and paragraph	Q
But if they found him bad they maul'd him	P
	-
On modern Dramatists they fell	R
Pounce vi et armis tooth and nail pell mell	R
They call'd them Carpenters and Smugglers	S
Filching their incidents from ancient hoards	T
And knocking them together like deal boards	T
And Jugglers	S
Who all the town's attention fix	U
By making Plays No Sir by making tricks	U
	-
The Versifiers Heaven defend us	V
They play'd the very devil with their rhymes	W
They hope'd Apollo a new set would send us	V
And then invidiously enough	X
Place'd modish verse which they call'd stuff	X
Against the writing of the elder times	W
	-
To say the truth a modern versifier	E
Clap'd cheek by jowl	Y
With Pope with Dryden and with Prior	E
Would look most scurvily upon my soul	Z
	-
For Novels should their critick hints succeed	A2
The Misses might fare better when they took 'em	B2
But it would fare extremely ill indeed	A2
With gentle Messieurs Lane and Hookham	B2
	-
A Novel now says WILL is nothing more	E
Than an old castle and a creaking door	E
A distant hovel	C2
Clanking of chains a gallery a light	I
Old armour and a phantom all in white	I
And there's a Novel	C2
	-
Scourge me such catch penny inditers	W
Out of the land quoth WILL rousing in passion	D2
And fy upon the readers of such writers	W
Who bring them into fashion	D2
	-
WILL rose in declamation 'Tis the bane	E2
Says he of youth 'tis the perdition	E2
It fills a giddy female brain	E2
With vice romance lust terror pain	E2
With superstition	E2
	-
Were I Pastor in a boarding school	F2
I'd quash such books in toto if I couldn't	G2
Let me but catch one Miss that broke my rule	F2
I'd flog her soundly damme if I wouldn't	G2
	-
WILLIAM 'tis plain was getting in a rage	H2
But Thomas dryly said for he was cool	F2
I think no gentleman would mend the age	H2
By flogging Ladies at a Boarding school	F2
	-
DICK knock'd the ashes from his pipe	I2
And said Friend WILL	J2
You give the Novels a fair wipe	I2
But still	J2
While you my friend with passion run 'em down	E2
They're in the hands of all the town	E2
	-
The reason's plain proceeded DICK	K2
And simply thus	W
Taste over glutted grows deprave'd and sick	K2
And needs a stimulus	W
	-
Time was when honest Fielding writ	L2
Tales full of Nature Character and Wit	L2
Were reckon'd most delicious boil'd and roast	M2
But stomachs are so cloy'd with novel feeding	N2
Folks get a vitiated taste in reading	N2
And want that strong provocative a Ghost	M2
	-
Or to come nearer	E
And put the case a little clearer	E
Mind just like bodies suffer enervation	E2
By too much use	W
And sink into a state of relaxation	E2
With long abuse	W
	-
Now a Romance with reading Debauchees	W
Rouses their torpid powers when Nature fails	W
And all these Legendary Tales	W
Are to a worn out mind Cantharides	W
	-
But how to cure the evil you will say	W
My Recipe is laughing it away	W
	-
Lay bare the weak farrago of those men	E2
Who fabricate such visionary schemes	W
As if the night mare rode upon their pen	E2
And trouble'd all their ink with hideous dreams	W
	-
For instance when a solemn Ghost stalks in	E2
And thro' a mystick tale is busy	W
Strip me the Gentleman into his skin	E2
What is he	W
	-
Truly ridiculous enough	X
Mere trash and very childish stuff	X
	-
Draw but a Ghost or Fiend of low degree	W
And all the bubble's broken Let us see	W

George Colman

My Night-gown And Slippers Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

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