The Stones Of Gosh Poem Rhyme Scheme

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Now here is a tale of the Glugs of Gosh	A
In the end of the year umteen	B
Of the Glugs of Gosh and their great King Splosh	A
And Tush his virtuous Queen	B
And here is a tale of the Oglike Ogs	C
In their neighbouring land of Podge	D
Of their sayings and doings and plottings and brewings	C
And something about Sir Stodge	D
Wise to profundity	E
Stout to rotundity	E
That was the Knight Sir Stodge	D
	-
Oh the King was rich and the Queen was fair	F
And they made a very respectable pair	F
And whenever a Glug in that peaceful land	E
Did anything no one could understand	E
The Knight Sir Stodge he looked in a book	G
And charged that Glug with a crime called Crook	G
And the great Judge Fudge who wore for a hat	E
The skin of a female tortoise shell cat	E
He fined that Glug for his actions rash	A
And frequently asked to be paid in cash	A
Then every Glug went home to rest	E
With his head in a bag and his toes to the west	E
For they knew it was best	E
Since their grandpas slept with their toes to the west	E
	-
But all of the tale that is so far told	E
Has nothing whatever to do	E
With the Ogs of Podge and their crafty dodge	D
And the trade in pickles and glue	E
To trade with the Glugs came the Ogs to Gosh	A
And they said in the mildest of tones	C
'We'll sell you pianers and pickels and spanners	C
For seventeen shiploads of stones	C
Smooth 'uns or nobbly 'uns	C
Firm 'uns or wobbly 'uns	C
All that we ask is stones '	-
	-
And the King said 'What ' and the Queen said 'Why	H
That is awfully cheap to the things I buy	I
That grocer of ours in the light brown hat	E
Asks two and eleven for pickles like that '	-
But a Glug stood up with a wart on his nose	C
And he cried 'Your Majesties Ogs is foes '	-
But the Glugs cried 'Peace Will you hold your jaw	D
How did our grandpas fashion the law '	-
Said the Knight Sir Stodge as he opened a book	G
'If the goods were cheap then the goods they took '	-
So they fined the Glug with the wart on his nose	C
For wearing a wart with his everyday clothes	C
And the goods were brought home through a Glug named Jones	C
And the Ogs went home with their loads of stones	C
Which they landed with glee in the land of Podge	D
Do you notice the dodge	D
Not yet Well no more did the Knight Sir Stodge	D
	-
In the following Summer the Ogs came back	J
With a cargo of eight day clocks	C
And hand painted screens and sewing machines	C
And mangles and scissors and socks	C
And they said 'For these excellent things we bring	K
We are ready to take more stones	C
And in bricks or road metal for goods you will settle	L
Indented by your Mister Jones '	-
Cried the Glugs praisingly	L
'Why how amazingly	L
Smart of industrious Jones '	-
	-
And the King said 'Hum ' and the Queen said 'Oo	M
That curtain What a bee ootiful blue '	-
But a Glug stood up with some very large ears	C
And said 'There is more in this thing than appears	C
So we ought to be taxing these goods of the Ogs	C
Or our industry soon will be gone to the dogs '	-
And the King said 'Bosh You're un Gluggish and rude '	-
And the Queen said 'What an absurd attitude '	-
Then the Glugs cried 'Down with political quacks	C
How did our grandpas look at a tax '	-
So the Knight Sir Stodge he opened his Book	G
'No tax ' said he 'wherever I look '	-
Then they fined the Glug with the prominent ears	C
For being old fashioned by several years	C
And the Ogs went home with the stones full steam	N
Do you notice the scheme	N
Not yet Nor did the Glugs in their dreamiest dreams	C
	-
Then every month to the land of the Gosh	A
The Ogs they continued to come	O
With buttons and hooks and medical books	C
And rotary engines and rum	O
Large cases with labels occasional tables	C
Hair tonic and fiddles and 'phones	C
And the Glugs while copncealing their joy in the dealing	K
Paid promptly in nothing but stones	C
Why it was screamingly	L
Laughable seemingly	L
Asking for nothing but stones	C
	-
And the King said 'Haw ' and the Queen said 'Oh	M
Our drawing room now is a heavenly show	A
Of large overmantels and whatnots and chairs	C
And a statue of Splosh at the head of the stairs '	-
But a Glug stood up with a cast in his eye	I
And he said 'Far too many baubles we buy	I
With all the Gosh factories closing their doors	C
And importers' warehouses lining our shores '	-
But the Glugs cried 'Down with such meddlesome fools	C
What did our grandpas lay down in their rules '	-
And the Knight Sir Stodge he opened his Book	G
'To cheapness ' he said 'was the road they took '	-
Then every Glug who was not too fat	E
Turned seventeen handsprings and jumped on his hat	E
And they fined the Glug with the cast in his eye	I
For looking two ways at the tenth of July	I
And for having no visible Precedent which	A
Is a crime in the poor and a fault in the rich	A
And the Glugs cried 'Strooth ' whihc is Gluggish you know	A
For a phrase that in English is charmingly low	A
Are you grasping it No	A
Well we haven't got very much farther to go	A
	-
Now it chanced one day in the middle of May	P
There came to the great King Splosh	A
A policeman who said while scratching his head	E
'There isn't a stone in Gosh	A
To throw at a dog for the crafty Og	Q
Last Saturday week at one	B
Took our last blue metal in order to settle	L
A bill for a toy pop gun '	-
Said the King jokingly	L
'Why how provokingly	L
Weird But we have the gun '	-
	-
And the King said 'Well we are stony broke '	-
But the Queen couldn't see it was much of a joke	R
And she said 'If the metal's all used up	S
Pray what of the costume I want for the Cup	S
It all seems so dreadfully simple to me	L
The stones Why import them from over the sea '	-
But a Glug stood up with a mole on his chin	B
And he said with a most diabolical grin	B
'Your Majesties down in the country of Podge	D
A spy has unravelled a very cute dodge	D
And the Ogs are determined to wage a war	T
On the Glugs next Friday at half past four '	-
Then the Glugs all cried in a terrible fright	E
'How did our grandpas manage a fight '	-
And the Knight Sir Stodge he opened a book	G
And he read 'Some very large stones they took	G
And flung at the foe with exceeding force	C
Which was very effective though rude of course '	-
And lo with sorrowful wails and moans	C
The Glugs cried 'Where oh where are the stones '	-
And some rushed north and a few ran west	E
Seeking the substitutes seeming best	E
And they gathered the pillows and cushions and rugs	C
From the homes of the rich and the middle class Glugs	C
And a hasty message they managed to send	E
Craving the loan of some bricks from a friend	E
Do you now comprehend	E
Well hold on at the curve for we're nearing the end	E
	-
On Friday exactly at half past four	T
Came the Ogs with a warlike glee	L
And the first of their stones hit poor Mr Jones	C
The Captain of Industry	L
Then a pebble of Podge took the Knight Sir Stodge	D
In the pit of his convex vest	E
He muttered 'Un Gluggish ' His heart grew sluggish	A
He solemnly sank to rest	E
'Tis inconceivable	L
Hardly believable	L
Yet he was sent to rest	E
	-
And the King said 'Ouch ' and the Queen said 'Oo	M
My bee ootiful drawing room What shall I do '	-
But the Oglike Ogs they hurled great rocks	C
Through the works of the wonderful eight day clocks	C
They had sold to the Glugs but a month before	T
Which is very absurd but of course it's war	T
And the Glugs cried 'What would our grandpas do	E
If they hadn't the stones that they one time threw '	-
But the Knight Sir Stodge and his mystic book	G
Oblivious slept in a graveyard nook	G

Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis

The Stones Of Gosh Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

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