The Automatic Umpire Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis
Rhyme Scheme: ABCBDEFE BGHIHJHJ GKG LMJM NJJ GBGB| Now Plugger Palook was a man in a thousand | A |
| Said Horace the Howler not one of yer fools | B |
| But his barrackers vowed that he wasn't allowed | C |
| Full scope for his talents account o' the rools | B |
| For Plugger Palook was a footballer Get me | D |
| An' one of the old school A wonder A wow | E |
| He was no lily handed gazook to be branded | F |
| No sort of weaklin' Not Plugger no how | E |
| - | |
| Not much of a kicker not so you would notice | B |
| His handball an' passin' left much to desire | G |
| A dub at high markin' his business was narkin' | H |
| An' knocking out umpires wot rose up his ire | I |
| He'd done in a dozen first half of the season | H |
| But the depth of officials you never can tell | J |
| Now a shortage they're fearin' so Plugger not hearin' | H |
| They goes an puts in a serlenium cell | J |
| - | |
| The dawgs Plugger starts in the very first quarter | G |
| An' gets a bit rough'ouse in makin' things hot | K |
| When the cells says 'Now Plugger You ain't playin' rugger | G |
| Let up on them larrups ' An' Plugger says WOT ' | - |
| 'Twas the first time in years than an umpire had cheeked him | L |
| So Plugger lets out a sockdollager crack | M |
| There's a flash an' a sizzle then he does a mizzle | J |
| And lands out o' bounds on the broad of his back | M |
| - | |
| Well I'll say he was game tho' a good bit bewildered | N |
| For he comes back again when he finds he is whole | J |
| Then he tries for to tackle but soars with a crackle | J |
| Up clean thro' the posts an' the crowd it roars 'Goal ' | - |
| An' the heads calls that football said Horace the Howler | G |
| Deep pity for him in me proud heart it wells | B |
| A champion world beater A reel umpire eater | G |
| Done in an' disgraced by serlenium cells | B |
Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
(1)
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