If It's Modern It's Right Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis
Rhyme Scheme: ABABCDEEDFG HIHIBBJJBF KLKLBMNNMF OBOBPBQQBF| By the Mediterranean shore | A |
| In the days of the cohorts and legions | B |
| When oodles of rain used to pour | A |
| O'er the old agricultural regions | B |
| When a deluge came thundering down | C |
| Tho' the vineyards of Rome did not need it | D |
| Men cocked a shrewd eye | E |
| At the lowering sky | E |
| And agreed that the gods had decreed it | D |
| And they said to themselves 'There is not the least doubt | F |
| That's Jupiter Pluvius pouring it out ' | G |
| - | |
| But the restless old world forged ahead | H |
| And men waxed in wisdom and reason | I |
| An in bluff Merrie England 'tis said | H |
| When a deluge came down out of season | I |
| And rotted their 'turmuts ' their 'spuds' | B |
| Mangelwursts and similar riches | B |
| The wise of the land | J |
| Saw black magic at hand | J |
| So they sizzled a couple of witches | B |
| And they said to themselves 'There be not the least doubt | F |
| They hags can cast spells for a deluge or drought ' | - |
| - | |
| But progress moved onward and soon | K |
| Men derided the cult of witch burning | L |
| And in times of great floods 'twas the moon | K |
| Caused it all said the men of deep learning | L |
| And they proved since she governs the tides | B |
| She must govern all water and weather | M |
| So men turned to this new view | N |
| Since 'twas novel and new | N |
| And they scrapped old beliefs altogether | M |
| For they said to themselves 'There is not the least doubt | F |
| Lest the moon's on her back she must spill water out ' | - |
| - | |
| But we moderns of course high of brow | O |
| Are amused by these crude superstitions | B |
| We are guided by scientist now | O |
| Astronomers mathematicians | B |
| 'Tis sunspots as now we know well | P |
| Cause phenomenal floods and such troubles | B |
| But there isn't much harm | Q |
| So still your alarm | Q |
| For it's only old Sol blowing bubbles | B |
| But I say to myself 'Can there be any doubt | F |
| That a brief hundred years sees this theory out ' | - |
Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
(1)
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