The Hypnotist Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis
Rhyme Scheme: AABBAAAACC D AAAEEAAFFBBGGAA H AAAIIJJKKLLMMJJAA F AAAJJAANNOOAA F JPJAAQQRRSSKKTTFF U AAAOOVWAAXXYYZZOOAAA AA2A2 AAAAAAA man once read with mind surprised | A |
Of the way that people were hypnotised | A |
By waving hands you produced forsooth | B |
A kind of trance where men told the truth | B |
His mind was filled with wond'ring doubt | A |
He grabbed his hat and he started out | A |
He walked the street and he made a set | A |
At the first half dozen folk he met | A |
He tranced them all and without a joke | C |
'Twas much as follows the subjects spoke | C |
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First Man | D |
- | |
I am a doctor London made | A |
Listen to me and you'll hear displayed | A |
A few of the tricks of the doctor's trade | A |
'Twill sometimes chance when a patient's ill | E |
That a dose or draught or a lightning pill | E |
A little too strong or a little too hot | A |
Will work its way to a vital spot | A |
And then I watch with a sickly grin | F |
While the patient 'passes his counters in' | F |
But when he has gone with his fleeting breath | B |
I certify that the cause of death | B |
Was something Latin and something long | G |
And who is to say that the doctor's wrong | G |
So I go my way with a stately tread | A |
While my patients sleep with the dreamless dead | A |
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Next Please | H |
- | |
I am a barrister wigged and gowned | A |
Of stately presence and look profound | A |
Listen awhile till I show you round | A |
When courts are sitting and work is flush | I |
I hurry about in a frantic rush | I |
I take your brief and I look to see | J |
That the same is marked with a thumping fee | J |
But just as your case is drawing near | K |
I bob serenely and disappear | K |
And away in another court I lurk | L |
While a junior barrister does your work | L |
And I ask my fee with a courtly grace | M |
Although I never came near the case | M |
But the loss means ruin too you maybe | J |
But nevertheless I must have my fee | J |
For the lawyer laughs in his cruel sport | A |
While his clients march to the Bankrupt Court | A |
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Third Man | F |
- | |
I am a banker wealthy and bold | A |
A solid man and I keep my hold | A |
Over a pile of the public's gold | A |
I am as skilled as skilled can be | J |
In every matter of s d | J |
I count the money and night by night | A |
I balance it up to a farthing right | A |
In sooth 'twould a stranger's soul perplex | N |
My double entry and double checks | N |
Yet it sometimes happens by some strange crook | O |
That a ledger keeper will 'take his hook' | O |
With a couple of hundred thousand 'quid' | A |
And no one can tell how the thing was did | A |
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Fourth Man | F |
- | |
I am an editor bold and free | J |
Behind the great impersonal 'We' | P |
I hold the power of the Mystic Three | J |
What scoundrel ever would dare to hint | A |
That anything crooked appears in print | A |
Perhaps an actor is all the rage | Q |
He struts his hour on the mimic stage | Q |
With skill he interprets all the scenes | R |
And yet next morning I give him beans | R |
I slate his show from the floats to flies | S |
Because the beggar won't advertise | S |
And sometimes columns of print appear | K |
About a mine and it makes it clear | K |
That the same is all that one's heart could wish | T |
A dozen ounces to every dish | T |
But the reason we print those statements fine | F |
Is the editor's uncle owns the mine | F |
- | |
The Last Straw | U |
- | |
A preacher I and I take my stand | A |
In pulpit decked with gown and band | A |
To point the way to a better land | A |
With sanctimonious and reverent look | O |
I read it out of the sacred book | O |
That he who would open the golden door | V |
Must give his all to the starving poor | W |
But I vary the practice to some extent | A |
By investing money at twelve per cent | A |
And after I've preached for a decent while | X |
I clear for 'home' with a lordly pile | X |
I frighten my congregation well | Y |
With fear of torment and threats of hell | Y |
Although I know that the scientists | Z |
Can't find that any such place exists | Z |
And when they prove it beyond mistake | O |
That the world took millions of years to make | O |
And never was built by the seventh day | A |
I say in a pained and insulted way | A |
that 'Thomas also presumed to doubt' | A |
And thus do I rub my opponents out | A |
For folks may widen their mental range | A2 |
But priest and parson thay never change | A2 |
- | |
With dragging footsteps and downcast head | A |
The hypnotiser went home to bed | A |
And since that very successful test | A |
He has given the magic art a rest | A |
Had he tried the ladies and worked it right | A |
What curious tales might have come to light | A |
Banjo Paterson (andrew Barton)
(1)
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